[altschmerzes]

i love you friendship and qprs and best friends and friends with benefits and mentorships and roommates and found family and surrogate parents and chosen siblings and rivalries every single specifically and actively nonromantic dynamic that exists

[specialagentartemis]

Aro and ace activism is housing reform, is well-funded public housing, is an expansion of affordable housing, is allowing single people to get affordable and public housing, is rent controls to make it possible for single people to be able to afford to live alone on a single salary.

Aro and ace activism is healthcare reform, so that no one needs to rely on a spouse for health insurance, so that healthcare is available to everybody regardless of income, so that no one’s lived experiences or basic dignity are dismissed or overridden by doctors

Aro and ace activism is well-funded and expansive public transit, so that you don’t need to have someone on hand to drive you places if you are incapacitated, so that you don’t have to pay for an ambulance if you need to get to the hospital quickly

Aro and ace activism is disability and elder care services, so that no one needs a spouse to care for them, so that no one needs children to care for them, so that marriage is not a bind for disabled people, so that people on disability who want to and can live alone can

Aro and ace activism is community-building, it’s public events, it’s free social activities, it’s mutual aid, it’s activities that bring community members together without socializing relying on just a romantic partner

Aro and ace activism is developing a culture of believing when people tell you who they are and what they want rather than assuming you know them better than they know themselves

Aro and ace activism means a better world for people without “normative” desires or “normative” social support, which means a better world for everybody

[auctumnitas]

happy valentines day to the creators of koisenu futari and to the creators of koisenu futari only

[ID: Seven Koisenu Futari-themed valentine’s cards with “to” and “from” written on each.

The first image is of a cooked crab on a plate. The text reads, “Will you be my fake date at my family dinner? (There will be crab).”

The second image is of Sakuko smiling. The text reads, “Will you be a family (subject to change) with me?”

The third image is of flowers in Takahashi’s garden. The text reads, “Would you like to hear my rant on amatonormativity? Too late, you’re going to hear it anyway.”

The fourth image is of a plate of cake slices. The text reads, “Oh, there will be cake? And everyone else will be otherwise distracted from said cake by talk of their crushes? Count me in.”

The fifth image is of a fully-stamped store rewards card. The text reads, “Will you go strategically shopping with me so that my accumulated returning customer points don’t go to waste?”

The sixth image is of Takahashi holding up booklets in each hand. The text reads, “Will you move in with me? I’m desperate for my neighbors to stop sending me marriage pamphlets and photos of their nieces. Like what am I even supposed to do with these.”

The seventh image is of Takahashi smiling. The text reads, “There are indeed people who don’t fall in love. Hope that helps,” followed by a text emoticon for a heart. /END ID]

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is the poem bride by maggie smith !!

copied from her substack:

Bride

How long have I been wed to myself? Calling myself

darling, dressing for my own pleasure, each morning

choosing perfume to turn me on. How long have I been

alone in this house but not alone? Married less

to the man than to the woman silvering with the mirror.

I know the kind of wife I need and I become her:

the one who will leave this earth at the same instant

I do. I am my own bride, lifting the veil to see

my face. Darling, I say, I have waited for you all my life.

[im-fostering-it292]

REblog if you are Asexual, support Asexuals, or spend most of your time actually thinking about Superheroes.

[televisionenjoyer]

[knifearo]

are people under the impression that aromantic people never want to have close personal relationships with the people in their lives. "oh i wish i was aro it would save me all this drama!" actually human relationships are always deep and complicated and messy and have the potential to hurt and help and change your life and being romantic is just one possible aspect of that. aromantic people want to be close to the people around them just like anyone else. and i know the real issue is that people think romantic relationships are the only way to be truly close to someone else but it's weird and off-putting to constantly hear the implication that aros are somehow fundamentally incapable of forming relationships that would impact their lives negatively cause they don't wanna go on dates with people. not even mentioning the aros who do

[knifearo]

the thing about "oh it would be so much easier if i was aro" is no it fucking wouldn't. yeah genuinely sometimes aro people do spare themselves a lot of shit by opting out of the weird damaging social constructs around dating. but the reason that a lot of us are able to do that is because we've spent EXTENSIVE time unlearning the societal standards that are coded onto all of us by our upbringings and actively reteaching ourselves how to value our own inherent personhood and taking the steps to distance ourselves from the social constructs and contracts that everyone else in the world participates in and making the active choice to turn away from the one thing that society promises will Make You Happy. which is fucking hard actually. and it sucks a lot of the time. it would not be easier if you were aro. you would have more reason to do this work! you might have less of a choice in it! but you could do it right now if you really wanted. you just can't be bothered

[aro-disaster]

Urgh, yes. It's like some Allo folk forget that we still have families, friends and colleagues.

I can still get stressed and sad about people I care for/spend a lot of time in proximity to.

Many of us have that relative whose every communique is analysed just as deeply as that of a beau's. Feel free to name and shame in the tags....

[howtoskinarabbit]

Normal human people.

When I stay around normal human people for a bit too long I forget. Then they say something 'Imagine being single after 40' 'That's so sad'

And I remember.

[orchidbreezefc]

sex is like bugs

many sex averse asexuals like myself have heard the sentiment "oh, it's such a shame you can't enjoy yourself with sex :(" which is kind of annoying and wrongheaded. i've even caught myself thinking the same thing regarding people not being able to enjoy the aspects i do enjoy (i.e. written smut).

and it isn't an unreasonable sentiment! "it's a shame that you can't find enjoyment in something that brings me enjoyment" is a perfectly fine way to feel. it would be nice for people to be able to find enjoyment in stuff! enjoyment is cool, it's great when things make people happy!

while there is discussion to be had about the social conditioning that causes this sentiment to so frequently come to mind irt sex, i want to point out that it isn't exclusive to that topic. i came up with an example that i think some sex enjoyers might find illuminating in terms of how it feels to hear that sentiment as a sex averse person: bugs.

i love bugs. adore them. ive made them a part of my personality to a degree that people usually only do with sex in sitcoms. my enjoyment of bugs--caring for them, learning about them, interacting with them--is immense! and you know what, it does make me pretty sad that some people will never find them a source of joy in that way. it IS a shame when people can't enjoy bugs.

so if anyone who enjoys sex read that last sentence and shuddered... well, there you go! that's how it feels!

[foenixed]

"Why would this character be jealous of their friend's romantic relationships? Clearly they're in love with them" I don't know if you guys have ever Had Friends but it's actually pretty common for people to feel jealous if their best friend suddenly has less time for them and is prioritising someone they just met over them. That's not inherently romantic, that's the general human desire to be valued by the people you value.

[dippythestick]

A-spec music

🏹 ♠️ 🍏

Aromantic 🏹

Aromantic Moodboard - Maxwell Anthony

Love Impaired - Dinosaur 94

luv is stooopid -renforshort

despair - leo.

I Could Never Fall in Love With You - Tub Ring

Let Me Fall in Love - Broken at Best

Oh No! - Marina and The Diamonds

Falling Behind - Laufey

Never Been In Love - Will Jay

You Can Make Me Want You - Suzi Quatro

Zero Feelings - Zoe Clark

Pls Cheat On Me - Precious Pepala

Don't Fall In Love - Danko Jones

Love Love Love - Of Monsters and Men

Anti-Romantic - Tomorrow X Together

Romance Is Boring - Los Campesinos!

Best Friend - Rex Orange County

Blueberry Pancakes - Feelrs

Kissaphobic - Make Out Monday

No Lover - Jetty Bones

Crush Culture - Conan Gray

I Don't Want Love - The Antlers

A Diamond and a Tether - Death Cab for Cutie

Too Sweet - Hozier

i think i wanna be alone - mazie

Aromantic - Mike Fonzarelli Roberts

Pretend Love - The Avett Brothers

Twist the Knife - The Handsome Devil

Love Bugs - Harley Poe

Fine, Great - Modern Baseball

I Love You Like An Alcoholic - The Taxpayers

Against the Kitchen Floor - Will Wood

Misanthropic Drunken Loner - Days N Daze

Asexual ♠️

It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest

D&D + Asexuality - Skull Puppies

Asexual Love - Lily Summer

Sugar In My Coffee - The Narcissistic Cookbook

We'll Never Have Sex - Leith Ross

I Don't Want a Nuclear Family - SHARP/SHOCK

Sex Yeah - Marina and The Diamonds

Misanthropic Drunken Loner - Days N Daze

Aplatonic 🍏

No Friends - CADMIUM, Rosendale

Lonely Dance - Set It Off

Oh No! - Marina and The Diamonds

Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks

People I Don't Like - UPSAHL

We Don't Have to Dance - Andy Black

Lonely Vampire - Weathers

Alone And Sublime - Mother Mother

You're Standing on My Neck - Splendora

Misanthropic Drunken Loner - Days N Daze

[tiktaalic]

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

[howtoskinarabbit]

Normal human people.

When I stay around normal human people for a bit too long I forget. Then they say something 'Imagine being single after 40' 'That's so sad'

And I remember.

[djpachipikachu]

unfortunate news being aroace does not give you immunity against yearning . sorry. i know . i was disappointed to learn it too

[sunseths]

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I fell asleep in my friends' arms. It was eleven at night, we were tired, curled up in a small pile on my tiny bed. I had my head buried in my roommate's side, and one of my closest friend's hand on my shoulder, steadying me. It was quiet and nothingness and peace and their heartbeats in my ears, my hands in their hair.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

We pack four people to that little bed, you know. Laps used as footrests, collarbones as pillows, little lights like moonlight in rustic yellow bathed on their faces. The TV plays an anime. The words are repeated by my dear friend on my shoulder, curled close. My legs are asleep; my roommate may be, too.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

The cat curls on top of our criss cross mess of legs and arms and heads on chests to absorb the warmth of us all. She purrs in contented peace. When my roommate and I are left alone in the quiet, she cries, and watches the door for our friends' return.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I will never kiss them but the top of their heads. I will never touch but the warmth of their arms. I will never take more than what's freely given, and in return I put my glasses on the bedside table fashioned from a guitar amp, and when I lean into their sides, I pick up my vulnerability and place it in their capable, tender hands.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I sing for them. I cry for them. I work and I run and I withstand the worst of the world for them, because some days I get to cradle their forehead on my shoulder and some days I get to see their shining eyes.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Maybe to you. But look beyond explanation. I love them. With my heart in my unsteady hands, with my nose pressed to the side of their head, with the buzzing in my feet and the warmth all around Iike the sunset pushing into the window.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Is it enough to say I love them? With no strings attached? With reckless abandon and utter devotion and freedom and kindness and fear?

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I cannot explain it any clearer. I love my friends. There is no more to say.

[crabussy]

"you have to chose one person. ONE. who you are supposed to care about more than anyone else in your life, and if you don't want that, there must be something fundamentally wrong with you and you'll eventually realise you were meant to spend your whole life with this one person who you will inevitably have sex and children with" sounds like the premise to a gut twisting psychological horror movie but nooo. it's a real life mindset shared by a frankly terrifying proportion of earth's human population

[theloverislost]

friend is now official with their gf. i am very happy for them. coincidentally, i also want to go lie at the bottom of a river bed for a very long time and not speak to anyone.