"That Feeling"

[assholeheartbeat]

B: (Letter)

Be: (Verb)

Bee: (Insect)

Beee: (???)

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October 29th, 1913 The day the first spambot was created

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Portugal Does Not Exist!

Don't belive their lies!

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Why is everyone’s bird named Harry? I dare you to find someone who hasn’t at least thought of naming a bird Harry.

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Had a dream someone gave my $10. Woke up and was upset to find a lack of $10. Very pissed. Why would my brain do this to me?

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How you know you’re in the South.

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Scrolling Through Tumblr Mobile

Tumblr: Hey, you should look at this blog.

Me: No thanks.

Me: *scrolls past 2 advertisements*

Tumblr: Are you sure you don't want to check out this blog?

[assholeheartbeat]

Catch me speeding down the street blasting Smooth by Santana.

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To All The People Out There Who Eat Green Olives

fuck you

[askinnyblackman]

what the fuck

[setheverman]

”hmmm i wonder what country this is from,” said not one single person ever

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Ah yes, this is MY kind of music

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My stomach: *makes noise after eating junk food*

Me: Would you kindly shut the fuck up?

[fotojournalismus]

Farmers pick marigolds in Minzu village, Weining County in Guizhou, China on August 2, 2015. (Yang Wenbin/Xinhua)

[assholeheartbeat]

Ah yes, The Great Dorito Fields. It looks to be a good harvest, this year.

[assholeheartbeat]

I had a dream that I was at a park and Hillary Clinton came up to me and gave me coupons for cooking utensils.

Donald Trump was there, but he just kept yelling, “You see this? This is what she does, people” at everyone else at the park.

[assholeheartbeat]

Ten Jobs That Will Squirt Your Gurt

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It's like Teddy Roosevelt once said, carry a big stick, and don't fuck dogs.

[assholeheartbeat]

Chameleons. Too human-like. Not a fan. 5/10

[assholeheartbeat]

Eat babies

Babies eat

Dropping beats

Dropping beets on babies