A Cat in a Trenchcoat

18. she/her. Multifandom. Extremely gay.

[assortedcupcake]

I'm so terrified of my little sister Like yeah it makes sense for middle schoolers to get into fandom culture, I did the same but like- It is a wild experience to have your younger sibling talk about doomed yaoi/yuri or about being a fujo so casually.

[assortedcupcake]

So recently my younger sister has entered her "deep in fandom content era" which means she now consults tumblr & ao3 semi-regularly ( cause ofc she doesn't wanna give details ) The issue comes from the fact that we have overlapping interests & fandoms and there's a high chance she finds my blog If she does, hi sis ! now get off this website, we need to finish our Deltarune playthrough

[goomyloid]

sometimes i have a quick mental reset where i forget everything that’s happened in the past 3+ years and think “man the weird route is so cool i should draw fanart so everyone knows i like the weird route”

[crythartic]

we'll do it together, right?

[burningarchitecture]

No one can make you get out of bed, honey

[jomeimei421]

What a cruel thing to say

[jomeimei421]

Why are your hands trembling? Let’s go somewhere no one has ever gone before!!

[assortedcupcake]

Deltarune chapter 5 was insane

I genuinely can't believe the amount of content we got this chapter

Like

Dessriel Canon

Suselle confession scene

Whatever tf Flowery is

The weird route turning the game into a psychological horror

NOT TO MENTION THE PLATFORMING SECTIONS ??

I can't wait for the next chapters, this is incredible

[assortedcupcake]

You've ever had that feeling where you see someone's derivative work and desperately want them to make reimaginings of actual events that happened in canon ? Like their content is so good that they genuinely can elevate the original medium ?

On a completely unrelated note, please goomyloid I need reimaginings of the Berdly, Noelle's room, and Lake scenes from Deltarune's weird route your art is insane

[inscrutablyrenamed]

One thing that doesn't quite sit right with me about clair obscur is the scene Renoir shows the cast before going home. Let me explain.

We see in the 'Epilogue' that Renoir and Aline stand and sit before the canvas respectively. They're perfectly still, not even a noise escaping their lips. So how come Aline is stumbling like that in the 'view' Renoir shows them?

It can't be the present for at least two reasons, namely time dilation, aline having left again, and the fact the canvas was moved from the atelier. The only way for that to work out is that opening the view syncs time within and without the canvas, Aline took the time to move it back in place before returning, and that the aftereffects of being in the canvas have her reeling like that several minutes (fact check me there if necessary, I'm working from memory) after leaving it.

Another option is that it is a memory of the past but this has its own complications. Renoir isn't in view, so that implies this is before he joined. More than 67 in-canvas years ago. If by that time she was already that wobbly and unwell, then I honestly don't think her having a chair put under her would stabilise her to the point she doesn't fall off it or stop moving and coughing 51 in-canvas years later.

Which to me really only leaves the option that Renoir fabricated that scene. Maybe that's how he sees things, or maybe he subconsciously exaggerated it, but either way it just feels off to me.

[assortedcupcake]

I don't really know how to feel about the fact that my nsfw account is popping off more than this one

[assortedcupcake]

[CLAIR OBSCUR : EXPEDITION 33 GAME + ARTBOOK SPOILERS]

Hello everyone !

So I recently got the Expedition 33 artbook for Christmas and I wanted to share with everyone every tidbit of lore or fun fact that I was able to find by skimming through it. I do want to preface first that I haven't played the new Verso's drafts DLC so I might be missing some important lore, so do keep this in mind while I talk about this book.

Also, this contains heavy spoilers for the game, so if you've not finished the game yet, don't look at this post.

Alright, let's get into it !

Formatting :

- Information paraphrased from the book, 1

Personal Notes on 1

- Information paraphrased from the book, 2

Personal Notes on 2

- In the early development stages of the game, there was an area called the "Tears Cavern" which reminds me a lot of both Visages & Falling Leaves in the general vibe

- There was supposed to be a third option instead of Parry or Dodge in the Concept art called Defend

DESSENDRE FAMILY :

- The Painted Family is always referred to, in the artbook and in the code of the game, as the "Mirror Family".

I guess it's m!renoir and r!renoir from now on

- Before Verso died, Aline was a very dreamy and charming, but is also naturally really assertive. She's also sad that she's unable to help Alicia with her burnt scars.

I think it kinda implies Aline was the stricter parent of the two. Also this also implies she actually doesn't hate Alicia, just that she's in complete distress at being unable to help a burnt victim that's her own daughter in 19th century France.

- Clea wants to get revenge against the writers not just for her family, but the entire painting faction. She also describes herself as an "Occasional misanthrope"

She seems really invested in the painter/writer politics, as the eldest sibling of the family. Honestly Based.

- Alicia was a quiet kid in the family

- Clea went inside the Canvas to check on her parents after the Fracture and after finding out they're now stuck in the Canvas, she just sighs, paints the nevrons to not waste her time in the Canvas and goes out to continue her war.

The book doesn't mention it but im assuming this is also when she fucked up m!Clea and Simon

- Clea was the one who made Goblu.

PAINTER LORE

- Chroma allows the painters to create the implicit metaphysical rules of the world as well as painting life.

This explains how reversing death works, like Alicia did, it's like taking away the Rune of Death in Elden Ring

- Aline is called a "Matriarch" in this section

Reinforces the "Aline was the stricter parent" agenda

- Copying a real person in the canvas without their consent is an ethical violation in the painting world

THE EXPEDITION :

- Gustave has PTSD from the Dark Shores encounter

- Maelle was a really shy kid

- Lune is a mage

- She has impostor syndrome because she feels like she's not living up to her parent's gigantic expectations of defeating the paintress and finishing their work

- Verso prefers playing piano in a concert hall than fighting nevrons

- Monoco was in fact taught human language by Verso

I always thought this was some bs Verso spew to explain why kid Verso made his dog in the Canvas and made sure they could speak with him

- The legends do say Esquie is Lazy

LOCATIONS :

- Lumière's melted look was inspired by that one Salvador Dali painting where the watches are melting

- The fracture created earthquakes, hurricanes, and literally tore apart the world. The modern day section of Lumière got caught in a storm and sent far away into the ocean.

- Only the Mirror Family came back safely to Lumière

- The continent is in layers : Verso's creations are is on the bottom, painting Esquie, François, the Gestrals, the Grandis, accompanied by Clea in their works.

We can assume these are every areas except Lumière, Old Lumière, Renoir's draft, the Monolith & the Axon Islands

Also what they mean by layers is probably Chroma layers, like geological layers or literally layers of paint in a painting

- The Second Layer is Aline, creating Lumière to give this canvas a sense of normality

And also to drown her sorrows.

- Renoir Coming into the Canvas and fighting Aline deformed the Canvas.

I think what happened is that both Chromas blended in together, like when you add paint to a painting while the previous layers hasn't dried yet, twisted and blending the colors in an unrecognizable way. This manifested in the canvas as a fucking cataclysmic event

- The Dark Shore's esthetic takes inspiration from Skull Island from the 2005 King Kong movie

- In the concept art for the expedition meeting m!renoir, we see m!Verso and m!Alicia looking in the distance

- This area contains golden lava

- The Chroma in the Spring Meadows is specifically described as Blue in the artbook, which isn't a color any of the Dessendre we've seen use

- The Nevrons in Spring Meadows are able to move thanks to magnetism, as they're metallic

- The Corals & Rock design in the flying waters are inspired by the Art Director's pottery collection

- The Ancient Sanctuary is basically a Burial grounds for Gestrals

- The Giant Bell in the Ancient Sanctuary was a gift from the Grandis

- The area is described in the artbook as "Mercurochrome" which is a sick ass word imo

- The little broken wooden Hut in the Ancient Sanctuary is described in the concept arts as "Verso's refuge"

- Every Gestral village was destroyed during the Fracture and the remaining gestrals formed the modern-day Gestral Village

- Golgra rules with an Iron Fist

- The gestrals are confirmed as being based on painting furnitures.

- Young Verso found Immortality too Boring and Death too Permanent, which is how the Sacred River came to be.

This part is mentioned by Clea in the Endless Tower. I thought this was specifically a Clea ideology, but this seems to be both a Clea & Verso thought.

- After the Fracture, they were not enough gestrals to take care of the new reborn gestrals, which is where the Sacred River overcrowding problem stem from. Thus why the Ancient Sanctuary is less a Burial ground and more a long queue

- In the concept arts, the Gestrals near the old Casino all wore suits, similar to Monoco's Lumière outfit.

- There's a throne for Golgra in the Arena

- The lighting in Esquie's nest takes inspiration from UV lights used in Tanning salons

- François can't move

- There's a really sweet Artwork of Esquie saving Sciel from drowning

- People used to live in the Stone Wave Cliffs before the Fracture, which is where all the Carousel stuff, the Paintress Idol, and the Old Farm come from, people that were stranded and saw this figure as some kind of god

Which she basically was

- The old Farm takes inspiration from traditional Norwegian houses

- Serpenphare is the main reason why a lot of expedition that tried to fly or sail get fucked over and stranded in the Stone Wave Cliffs

- "To differentiate this stormy coastline from the Dark Shores, Nicholas Maxson-Francombe places lamps straight from the Belle époque in the air, like music notes on an invisible sheet"

Just wanted to add in this really cool quote I found

- The Cliffs are in fact, made of Basalt

- The original Final Cutscene of the Stone Wave Cliffs was, in the concept arts, Gustave, Verso, Maelle and some girl with a bow against Renoir altogether while rocks are breaking beneath their feet

- The Forgotten Battlefield are built on a White Marble Quarry, after numerous battles against both hordes of Expeditioners and Nevrons

- The artbook explicitly mentions that this area is painted using chiaroscuro, aka Clair Obscur

- There's a really cool concept art of Dualliste and other nevrons such as Bourgeons, Chaliers and a Jar, fighting against a bunch of Expeditioners using siege weapons and regular infantry

- in the concept art the siege weapons would've been used and you had to run while canons were firing off near you

- Verso is carrying Gustave's arm on his back in the concept art

- Aline created Monoco Station and the railway system, as a reminder of her son's love of trains, and these trains went through everywhere in the continent

- it is infact inspired by the Gare d'Orsay in Paris

- Old Lumière was the first ever area to be properly fleshed out by Nicholas, using inspiration from Shadow of the Colossus, which is how the Clea Axon came to be and how we were supposed to actually walk on top of it and explore the city on top of the Hauler. Unfortunately, for narrative reasons, this idea got shelved

- Originally, Old Lumière was supposed to be filled with Builder Nevrons, but these got used for the Reacher instead, which is where the Orphelins come from.

- The Manor is made of Gold and Black Marble

These bitches are fucking loaded

- The main Hall takes inspiration from the Longleat Manor House in Southwest England, of all places

- The Manor is the only intact building in Old Lumière

- Sirène takes inspiration from the Video Game Journey with Sirène dress mimicking Dunes that you would've been able to walk on

- The main Colloseum takes inspiration from Antoni Gaudì's works

- The color scheme matching with Dali's Raphaelesque Head Exploding was purely coincidental

- Nicholas found some hollow sculptures of faces covered in oxidized bronze ( I think those are called masks my dude ) and that's how he designed Visages. The bronze spiral motifs reminded him of those of the human brain

- the main colors of each subsection of Visages are Royal Blue, Cadmium Red and Spring Green with tints of pink gold

- Joy Vale's esthetic is specifically inspired by Midsommar, same goes for the Moissoneuse nevrons

- He wanted in this area to have walking guillotines

- the original idea with Visages was that each subsection would've been a Manor, Sadness Manor being upside down, Anger Manor being on fire, and Joy Manor being exposed as if it was in ruins

- The Reacher was a big swamp before renoir started to paint the area.

- Nicholas was inspired by the Crow Fishers from Mad Max Fury Road to create the esthetic for the area outside of the giant wooden tower ( the swamp part basically ). This can be seen with the Echassier & the Veilleur. A third enemy, the épouvantail ( Scarecrow ) is also mentioned in the concept art, probably cut content.

- The inventions in the Reacher are inspired by the flying machines made by Da Vinci

- the Reacher is specifically wearing an Amigasa on top of a samurai outfit

- The Monolith is made of Black & Golden Obsidian.

- The Monolith was made by Nicholas with Mount Doom from LOTR in mind, this like gigantic structure that's oppressing the entire world

- The Paintress doesn't have a face

[assortedcupcake]

CLAIR OBSCUR : EXPEDITION 33 SPOILERS

You ever think Aline & Renoir got up to some wild shit while painting together to spice up their love life ? Like, painting powers is basically the 19th century equivalent of VR-Chat, along with all the devkit tools and basically indistinguishable from the real world, and the only impact it has IRL is you looking Frozen and your eyes being weird, doesn't even have to move IRL to move within a Canvas.

This also makes me wonder what a teenager would do if they were able to get their hands on Painting Powers. That'd be terrifying

"But aren't you 18"

Yes. I know.

[rydiathesummoner]

Clair Obscur's ending: Everyone Sucks Here

So I did both endings, both of which were a fascinating study of selfish assholes. I loved it.

Oh lordy did this get long.

The setup: Renoir is a moron

...a believable moron, but still a moron. He's the antagonist, but he's not evil. He's just dumb. And can't stop putting his foot in his mouth. And can't stop overreacting to everything.

So once upon a time, Renoir got enthralled in a different canvas and Aline pulled him out. Fast-forward to now, Aline got enthralled in the last scrap of their son's soul and his reaction is "Welp I tried. Time to burn it all down." Maelle points out that he's kinda overreacting and rather than listening to his child, what does he say?

You stupid fuckface. In what universe will saying that to your teenage kid will result in the kid being like "huh, yeah you're right Dad, I'm just a stupid kid who can't make decisions, please continue to make all my decisions for me, thank you Dad, you're so smart and wonderful."

Maelle does make a rather astute observation after this: "you want control, you want to feel like you're doing something" ...and I quite agree. In his grief, Renoir wants to do something, so it seems he does the first things that pop into his head without thinking "hey, am I pissing people off and making it worse?"

So I sat here at this screen for a while:

There seemed to be good and bad arguments for both sides. Mostly bad because no matter the choice, this is a Tyranny of the Gods ending. So in a way it's like the opposite of a JRPG. Instead of punching god in the face, we're the petty gods who don't give a shit about the people. It's actually really interesting to be on the other side.

My first ending: Verso's a selfish dick

I picked this one first for the sole reason that I knew the fight would be more effort due to Maelle's one-shot abilities. Verso's arguments made sense of course, he wants his sister to live. That said, he was true to his characterization to the very end: a liar and manipulator. I REALLY appreciate that the writers didn't give him a redemption arc or anything. That took guts, and I love it. Yes he wants Maelle to go home and live her life, but his primary motivation is getting what he wants: dying. First he asks his little painter soul if he's tired of painting, right? Well... not really. His exact words are "you're tired of painting, aren't you?" There's a reason leading questions are struck down in courts. Especially when dealing with kids, we evolved to go along with adults. The kid nods, but he has no face so we can't get his expression, and it is a nod, but a hesitant one. We will never know what little soul Verso was truly thinking in this scene, and that's the whole point really.

After the battle, I feel like this is where Verso's true selfishness comes out. He's holding Maelle as she gommaged and tells her it will be ok, and what does he say?

"You've got this incredible power to paint. You'll never have to suffer a life you don't want "

Did he seriously just tell her "oh it's fine. You can just make another canvas." He doesn't even care if she loses herself in some other canvas as long as she gets out of his.

And it gets even worse from there! Look, the game is very, VERY clear that the inhabitants of the canvas are not just figments of the imagination. They are living and sentient beings. Aside from the painted Dessendres, they are all free to do as they wish. Sciel is free to try and drown herself. Gustave could have backed out of the expedition if he wanted. Monoco chose to live in a frozen train station. Esquie chose to save Sciel. And by choosing Verso's ending I chose to slaughter them all. I'm not even going to fool myself with garbage like "oh, they're fictional", "oh, they're not as important" because I know that's horseshit people say to make themselves feel better. I felt like a monster, because to Sciel, Lune, Esquie, etc. I AM a monster who killed them all to save Aline and Maelle. I genocided all the Gestrals, all the Grandis, all the nevrons including the bougie ones who just wanted to chill. And the worst part is that there will be nobody left to remember them. Even in IRL history books we at least have the cultures we destroy written down. Nobody will ever remember the Gestrals, or any culture that developed from the inhabitants of the canvas. Man, I'm a sack of shit, huh? So how did Verso feel about being a murderous sack of shit?

...he actually seems... Ok with it. Like, he hugs his bros goodbye. But he doesn't apologize for killing them all. Which, you know, is kind of rude. He didn't even put it up to a vote. They didn't all want to die. Look at Lune. Girl was PISSED. She was never given a choice, so she took the only option she had and sat in the portal. Which Verso just kind of shrugged at, and damn am I glad I didn't have him take the romance options.

With all that said, I guess the family got a happy ending? I hope Aline and Maelle don't do the addict thing and slide back into old habits. I'm just going to pretend they all lived happily in their mansion. Oh wait, the whole point of this ending was to stop pretending. Oops.

Was it worth slaughtering thousands to save the marriage of two old rich people? Anything but therapy, amirite?

My second ending: Maelle is a selfish dick

So with this ending I was expecting Maelle to restore the canvas to what it was before her family fucked it all up. And that is so, SO not what happened.

Sure, she tried to comfort Verso, kinda. But mainly she's concerned about regaining the life she thinks was "stolen" from them, like you dumb bitch that's what you care about the most?? YOUR stolen time? Not Verso, who had his whole damn life stolen?

And then even though she's literally a god to this world, she doesn't even fix it. It still looks like shit. The Eiffel Tower is still bent. It's clearly been many years in the epilogue. She had plenty of time. She just didn't. Like her mother, she only cared about making the life SHE wanted.

Also in true petty god fashion, she only cares about the humans Aline created. Aside from Esquie and Monoco, there are no non-humans in the epilogue. Noco is nowhere to be seen. No Grandis. No Gestrals. The Grandis would have loved to see Verso play the piano. Little bougie trumpet nevron would have loved to play alongside Verso. Bougie sparkles nevron would have loved shining under stage lights with his crystals. But nah, they aren't human, so we don't need to consider them. I mean, Esquie and Monoco are ok I guess, they aren't like those OTHER creatures, amirite?

I will give Maelle credit on one thing - she did kinda, sorta find a compromise with Verso. Yes he was yelling "I don't want this life" over and over, but as someone whose stupid brain shouts that frequently... come on my dude. Go outside. Do your breathing exercises. See how you're feeling next week. Maelle was technically correct at dealing with his suicide ideation by shutting it down and giving him a normal lifespan. When my brain is at its dumbest and sees suicide validated in media, even when fits the theme of a story, my dumb brain says "yes!! Finally some writers get it!!" And that's bad. So I really think the writers here threaded that needle perfectly.

I'm sure the last scene of the epilogue was supposed to be a cautionary tale, but there's just SO MUCH to analyze and look at that I kinda just went "squeee this is so fun, oh wait this isn't supposed to be fun". Verso gets to live his dream of being a pianist, but it's rather ambiguous if he's happy. He has the exact same face I have in the checkout line at the grocery store when some old lady tries to pay with a check.

That said, it might just be his face. It's not like he has a happy face the rest of the game. This might be the best he can do. Or maybe he's just pissed. It's purposely ambiguous in an ending about escapism, which makes sense.

The art style was incredible here. The way it changes into black and white, then deepens into clair obscur art style in the last shots (yes I googled it I'm not an artist)

also is that a fucking wedding ring

There are a lot of ways to interpret this, in a purposely ambiguous ending about escapism. Because I'm a clown I'm choosing to interpret it as the writers saying "yeah neither of these endings had to happen, it didn't have to be this black and white, but we're gonna make it that way anyway lolol". I'm sure others will have their own interpretation and that's good, because that's the whole point. Verso's ending is fairly concrete, this one is open to creating your own fantasy as Maelle is doing.

In conclusion: the Dessendres suck ass. And I would probably do the same thing as them. Amazing job, writers.

[assortedcupcake]

Congrats on finishing the endings ! There are a lot more things to do in the game but yeah ohhh boyyyy there are things to say about it

Now personally, I love both endings, and they both have moments that make you question whether you did the right thing, with Verso's ending making you question whether burning Verso's childhood canvas including Verso, Clea & Aline's sentient works in there is worth it in the end or if Maelle staying indefinitely and basically dying in the real world to stay in that Canvas to preserve Verso's memory and Lumière as she wants it to be is worth it

In a sense, both are suicidal af : Verso because he wants to destroy the piece of his soul that is the main reason for Aline numbing herself in the Canvas, and Alicia because a life of burnt scars and a voice that brings suffering to herself is not worth living. Again, both of them need fucking Therapy.

On a diegetic point of view, they're both shitty endings, as both of their trauma ( Verso being the equivalent of an emotional support doll to Aline for his entire life and Alicia having to deal with the death of her brother and her entire civilization as Maelle ) blind them to make reality stupid decisions, and they both kinda are taking the mantle of their parent's decision : Renoir & Verso to erase the Canvas and Alicia & Aline to keep it forever to honor Verso

There could be a point made that Verso didn't want this as his real interest was in Music, reflected in the fact that he apparently only has one living canvas he made as a child, Verso's room, the faded boy playing the piano in the opera and liking trains, painted Verso saying he preferred piano to painting ( if we can trust him ), which would be weird cause like

If Aline painted her son, she obviously would've made him into painting rather than music, and keep the music part to a low, so how would Verso know that his real life counterpart is into Music ? Even if Renoir told him, it wouldn't make sense, why would Renoir tell Verso that painting bad, music good ???

But also, Verso & Alicia both like, really suck, on one hand you have a manipulative lying fuck that wants to die to save his family from staying in the Canvas at the cost of multiple civilizations of sentient beings, and on the other you have a teenager that wants to die by living her perfect life in her brother's world. And mind you, she wouldn't have that internal debate if Aline straight up didn't repaint her and make her reborn in the world with her chroma. Or if Verso didn't let Gustave die, which was Maelle's main emotional attachment to Lumière and the world of the Canvas that she has, because she never was attached to Lumière before the expedition, she even joined at 16 because she wanted to gtfo. She only cared about Gustave, and that ultimately affected her decision ( I still belive Gustave's death is Verso's biggest fuck up as his bond with Maelle is the one thing that could've kept her from being trigger-happy with her newly found God powers )

There's also the argument that in Maelle's ending, Renoir will have to come back to get her out of the Canvas, but same could apply to Verso's ending and Alicia/Aline jumping back in a canvas. Its so fucking ambiguous and we know so little about what happens after the ending, it's impossible to say which one is better.

On a non-diegetic point of view, I picked Verso's ending because musically it was saying that this was the ending where things change, whereas in Maelle's ending, you hear a different version of the first 2 songs you hear when booting up the game ( Track 1 : Alicia => Track 154 : Maelle and Track 3 : Lumière => Track 151 : Clair-Obscur ), so I felt like I was breaking a cycle in Verso's ending while looping back to the start in Maelle's ending with few changes. I hate both endings and this was the deciding factor in choosing the ending, because I just had to make a choice

[rydiathesummoner]

Most of the Act 3 areas are filler for better weapons for boss battles that are past my skill ceiling, but I did really like the Falling Leaves dungeon.

So what I'm seeing is the Clea and Verso painted a whole bunch of cool stuff in the world when they were kids, like Esquie and Francois. But then after IRL Verso died and their parents started screwing up the painting Clea came in and created the nevrons for the chroma and now Little Verso here is confused as to why his sister made a bunch of bullshit.

In typical side quest back and forth fashion, we then find the Lady of Sap (aka Clea) and ask her what's up with the shitty murder monsters in her little brother's painting and she's like "I did it for you bro, look at what our parents have done!"

Of course the little kid is like "wait what? I don't want murder monsters either!" And at this point I really feel bad for this kid. He created a fun playground world to play in and ALL of his family is ruining it, his older backup version included. How scary and confusing is this for this little kid? I'm pretty sure this fading version is supposed to represent the original child Verso, the IRL one who created the canvas. And he's had to deal with his insane family creating monsters like this:

Seriously what the fuck Clea??

[assortedcupcake]

Clea's contortionniste is one of those things where I legit just walked away from sadness vale after seeing it. Like just "Nope. I'm not fighting a malfunctioning.... whatever tf this thing is today"

Clair obscur is really fun in terms of lore though, like ACT 3's dungeons are mostly filler, but they provide some really good lore and worldbuilding, and I've been absolutely loving seeing your posts about it. Looking forward to the next one !

Speaking of, I never put together that the Lady of Sap is Clea. Makes a lot more sense in retrospect

[assortedcupcake]

I kinda love the idea of shipping Aline & Renoir through fanworks and somehow the kids get ahold of like, some of the material we wrote/drew and Clea is just wondering wtf to do about it

[writing-prompt-s]

While putting your favorite condiment on a sandwich, you accidentally make a magical occult symbol and summon a demon.

[teawitch]

You silently take two more slices of bread out of the package and make another sandwich. You put it on a plate with a handful of potato chips and hand it to the demon. He takes the sandwich, smiles and vanishes in a puff of demonic smoke. The next day you get that job promotion you were after. There was no contract. No words spoken. You owe nothing. But every now and then, another demon pops in for lunch. Demons don’t often get homemade sandwiches. 

[geeko-sapiens]

Can I keep this going? I’m going to keep this going.

It would be a little annoying, if they weren’t so nice about it. You don’t know what you expected demons to be like, but you certainly didn’t expect them to be nice about it. There’s no demands, no voices like wailing babies, no blood on the walls (well, there was that one time, but Balthazak was very apologetic about the whole thing and cleaned it up right quick). Just the occasional demon stopping by for lunch. In fact, you could almost forget that they weren’t just ordinary people, the way they act. Nice people, too. 

You start talking with them, as time goes on. In the beginning you carefully pick your words so they couldn’t be spun to even imply a contract or reference a soul, but when they seem politely eager to have a normal chat, your words become a bit looser. You even begin gossiping with them - turns out, demons have breakroom gossip just like anyone else. You listened to Rek’ththththtyr’s account of Drokyarix’s torrid affair with Irkilliz, and Ferkiyan didn’t even know what Drory was doing behind his back, poor dear, and you kept quiet and let Ferkiyan cry on your shoulder after Drokyarix finally broke up with him (the shirt was a bit of a loss, demon tears are ruinous to cloth, but Ferkiyan’s a good sort and you couldn’t just turn him away). You even managed to talk him down from going and starting a fight with Irkiliz, who didn’t even know that Drokyarix was in a relationship, and who was almost as horrified as Rek’ththththtyr. 

After that event in particular, you start to get a sort of a reputation as a place where a demon can come to relax, talk, and - of course - get a sandwich. Your sandwich-making skills have really improved since this whole thing began. Your luck seems to have improved too - you’re not sure if you can attribute the whole thing to the sandwiches and the reputation, but you don’t really want to know anyway. 

One day, there’s a bright flash of light from your living room. Nothing unusual in itself - most of the younger demons haven’t quite got the style of their elders, and usually just go for a materialization in a flash of hellfire over your fireplace - except that it’s white instead of the usual red. You look up, and who do you see but an angel looking at you with a spear in his hand. Shrugging, you tell him to sit down and you’ll have a sandwich for him shortly, and meanwhile he can just tell you all about what’s on his mind. This clearly is not at all what he was expecting, but after a moment’s thought, he decides to take you up on your offer and starts talking. Apparently, he’d been dispatched to take care of some demon summoner in the neighborhood, and while he’d evidently got the wrong house the right one shouldn’t be hard to find - have you seen anyone practicing satanic rituals nearby? You laugh, a little, and tell him that you don’t really summon them, they just come on their own. They do like their sandwiches, and they’re quite nice folk. 

The angel’s jaw drops, and you remind him to chew with his mouth closed. 

[just-for-ship]

And I’m going to take this even further. Here we go.

It took a bit of explaining with the first angel to arrive. Telling him about the first accidental summoning and then how the demons just started stopping by around lunch time on your days off. But once he understood what’s been going on (and finished his sandwich) he nodded solemnly and said he would get this all straightened out “upstairs.”

You eventually start getting more angels coming around for lunch. Sometimes they bring a small dessert for you to share after the sandwiches, and the dishes are always magically clean and back in the cupboard when they leave.

You lean that angels don’t have much of their own drama, but they do know all the truths about human tabloid drama and they’re more than willing to dish on what the Kardashians have been up to.

The first time an angel and a demon show up for lunch on the same day is a little tense. You tell them that ALL are welcome for lunch in your house and that you would prefer it to be a no-conflict zone. It takes a while for them to settle, but eventually they grow comfortable enough to start chatting. Which is when you learn that because demons are technically fallen angels, you’ve been having two sides of an estranged family over for lunch regularly.

Soon, you have an angel and a demon at every lunch. Old friends and estranged siblings meeting up to reconnect over a sandwich at your dinning room table. You help the ones who had a falling out reach an understanding, and you get to hear wild stories of what the “old realm” was like.

One day, as you’re pulling out the bread and cheese, a messenger demon appears. You greet him and tell him a sandwich will be ready soon, but he declines. He is here on behalf of Lucifer to ask if it’s alright by you for him to “enter your dwelling so as to meet with his brother Michael over sandwiches.”

A little stunned, you agree. The demon disappears and you prepare three sandwiches, setting them at the table.

When Lucifer (the actual devil!) appears in small puff of smoke, you welcome him and ask what he’d like to drink. As you’re fetching the apple juice, a blinding flash of light comes from the dinning room indicating Michael’s arrival. You grab a second cup and walk back in to find a tense stand off between the brothers. You set down the cups and juice while calmly reminding them that this is a conflict-free zone, and if they are going to fight, please take it to an alternate plane of existence.

They don’t fight. They sit and enjoy the sandwiches and talk about what happened. You learn a lot about why creation started, what the purpose of humanity was and what it’s grown to be. You only have to diffuse two arguments. And at the end when it’s time for them to leave, they hug each other, agreeing to meet up again somewhere else.

In the following weeks you have the usual assortment of demons and angels stopping by. The regulars ask how you’re mom is doing and if your friend is settling in to their new apartment nicely. At some point during each visit though, they ask if it’s true. Did Lucifer and Michael really come for lunch? You tell them yes, but won’t say what was talked about. They’re disappointed, everyone likes the gossip, but they understand. Before they leave, you ask each angel and demon about this idea you have for the summer, what if you had a barbecue on the back patio for everyone who wanted to come? They think it sounds like a fun idea.

[mxrage8]

Yep, I’m picking up, here we go!

Everyone had a lot of fun at the barbecue. There wasn’t much fighting, but some sparks and noises made you grateful your neighbors were either out of town or older/deaf. There was a great three-legged race and a small football game with parties on all sides involved, you’d never fixed so much food before.

Then, two latecomers. Angels and demons alike gasped in shock and parted like the Red Sea (Which, apparently, is a VERY exaggerated story) to let them pass.

You smile warmly and ask what they’d like. Both decline to answer that, looking at each other awkwardly. The demon bows its head to let the angel speak first.

God Himself heard the fun and wanted to come join the barbecue.

You look at the messenger demon, the same one as before, and as you insist that “Oh, you really should stay this time!”, you’re told that Lucifer ALSO wants to come to your barbecue.

You look between the two. You tell them you won’t deny one or the other, but that they must keep in mind that this is a neutral zone and you won’t have their conflicts interfere with the atmosphere.

Both vanish momentarily (after each taking a plate of food). There’s a long, awkward silence.

Lucifer arrives first, flash of fire in the firepit, coming over to get a burger. He doesn’t look… displeased. But he’s not necessarily happy.

There’s a beautiful flash of white light and a rainbow, and then God descends onto your back porch. Your long-dead flowers spring back to life in His presence. Shit, now you actually have to go back to taking care of them.

The two regard each other from across the backyard. There’s still complete silence from the crowd of angels and demons.

You clear your throat. “What do you two want to eat? I have burgers, hot dogs, chicken, and some vegetarian alternatives.”

They slowly look at you. You return each of their gazes. “This is a no-conflict zone. We’re all here to have a good time at a good barbecue.”

More silence. Then, Lucifer dishes himself a burger and goes to prepare it the way he wants. God approaches calmly and looks over your vegetarian palette (Not the best, but it would do in a quick pinch, you found out just yesterday that some of the attendees would be vegetarian), fixing Himself some food as well.

As this goes on, the others begin to relax, and soon, everyone goes back to having a good time. The food is great, desserts brought by your angelic guests really compliment the meals you cooked, nobody starts sacrificing anybody or arguements (except later there’s a massive water gun/water balloon fight that knocked Michael into the fire pit and got ashes all over his bRAND NEW ROBES, DROKYARIX! but everyone laughed it off and carried on), and as you sit on your porch, taking in the sights, you wonder to yourself if you should do this kind of thing more often, and if you would have had this situation any other way.

Nope, you decide, when God hits Lucifer with a water balloon as he’s trying to refill his super soaker, you really wouldn’t have this any other way.

[allegorymetaphory]

Your sister shows up for an unexpected visit that evening and you understand her panic attack. Several angels and demons help ground her, and soon she’s chatting away with everyone and getting in on all the gossip.

Do they like her more than me? you wonder.

At one point, she runs out and comes back 20 minutes later with a landslide of desserts from a local bakery.

They definitely might like her more than you.

Everyone is delighted by the sugar, and the games get more energetic. Your backyard is full of light and laughter, both from the attendees.

As the barbeque draws to a close, your sister stands and gets everyone’s attention. She looks solemn.

“I just want to say…” she starts. She trails off, embarrassed in the silence. Demons and angels whoop encouragement.

She smiles. “I just wanted to say…that anyone who comes to my place gets a pickle with their sandwich!”

[assortedcupcake]

This genuinely feels like a proper Ao3 original work except it's by multiple authors

Guys

We're literally doing what the Ancient Greeks have been doing for centuries

And also Comic writers but that's less cool