1kg dried fruit [whatever you want as long as it adds up to a kilo, I like figs and dates in with my currants and dried peel]
¼ pint liquor [this year I’m using cherry brandy, previous years have included spiced rum and plum brandy, you want something robust but not too sharp, so gin or vodka wouldn’t work, you could use pastis at a push but you’d have a very aniseedy cake, my aunt uses Malibu and dried pineapples in hers, H uses cointreau, my mum uses amaretto, it’s your choice]
1tbsp treacle or molasses
[2 1/4tsp all spice - all irish recipes include this but you might not have it]
mix the dried fruit in a bowl and add the liquor, cover with a damp teacloth and put out of the way for 3 days, stirring as you remember
set the oven to 140/290 and line a large tin [9″ circular] in greaseproof paper/parchment paper [tinfoil also works, you need that later as well]
blend the butter and sugar, then add the almonds, eggs and treacle [you will need a hot spoon because treacle is like babies = sticky everywhere]
add the spice mix to the flour and slowly add that, mixing thoroughly, then tip in the fruit and any booze left in the bowl
pour the mix into the tin, it has the consistency of fruity concrete, you could plaster walls with it, don’t be worried, you might as well spoon it in and spread it out, smack the tin against the counter to fill any air bubbles a few times then put it in the bottom of the oven for 1hr
after 1hr turn the cake, just rotate it and set the timer for another hour
this time cover the cake with tinfoil and put it back in the oven, it should be firm to the touch but it’s not ready
being sure to rotate it put it in for another hour, wonder if you can manage a drink of the booze and still have enough to feed it
after this hour [4] do the stab test where you check if it comes out clean, if it does take it out of the oven [if your oven is temperamental you might want to shorten this hour but ALWAYS do the stab test]
leave to cool, take it out of the tin but DO NOT REMOVE THE GREASEPROOF PAPER, put in a tupperware box and prepare it for it’s first feed
to feed the cake, which you should do at least once a week, stab the cake with a toothpick like it’s a go board, you want an even spread of holes, then with a teaspoon slowly drizzle the liquor over the top, use your intuition but no more than a tablespoon, we don’t want the cake to get soggy and go mouldy, if in doubt youtube this step
about a week before you want to serve the cake prepare to dress it, take off the grease proof paper, get some apricot jam, some marzipan and royal icing [making these is a faff, don’t bother] heat the jam [put the jar in a bowl of boiling water] and use it like glue to fix the marzipan and then royal icing over the cake, stick on a plastic sleight, wrap a ribbon around it and you’re golden.
It’s not difficult, it just takes a long time, most of which is waiting