Athenescence

▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊|• 0:10 digital diary of a highschool senior

[athenescence]

Get to know me!!

I go by Athena

I'm 17

I'm into video games, alt music, greek mythology, manifesting and everything horror related(especially about zombies and viruses)

here you'll see: mostly vent posts, my thoughts and fandom related posts(headcanons, fanfics, theories, analysis)

my favourite video games are: pathologic, splatoon, the walking dead, overwatch, alice madness returns, outlast, tomb raider, syberia, detroit, shantae series

my favourite movies: the saw franchise(especially the first movie), grave encounters, final destination(heavy on the third movie), 28 days/weeks/years later, the truman show, the hunger games, battle royale

active fandoms: alice in borderland, the walking dead(game AND series), overwatch, life is strange, pathologic, code lyoko, soy luna, atla

Feel free to ask questions in my inbox!!

backloggd ao3(will be here soon)

Tags!!

#live laugh chirisu - chirisu stuff (fanfics, fanart, analysis, headcanons, fanfic news, translations)

#digital diary - personal posts

#ask athena - for asks

[athenescence]

Right now my life is way better than it was in years. My mental and confidence are the best they've ever been, yet I miss a period in my life so much that was not so long ago. In an almost painful way. I look at photos from then and see pure happiness in my eyes, I remember what I felt from those days, I get that rush of energy, but tbh that was kinda just the start of my "recovery"?? If you can call it so. But I still miss those evenings when I had so much to do, so many people to talk to and every second felt filled with action and excitement. I was overworked with school but found so much joy in simple talks, in simple calls, and started noticing what wasn't doing me any good and stopped whining over the fact I can't change a person and just something else that became special for me too. I found out for myself that I can actually live past that. I can do better and I always do. I feel so nostalgic for those moments probably because they were like "character development", oh jeez I just hope things will be even better later on

[athenescence]

I tend to keep strong eye contact with people and idk how they feel about it like am I being intimidating by constantly looking directly at you or are u alright w/ it..

[athenescence]

fps games gotta be one of my favourites, especially if i play w/ friends

like i almost(!!!) never get bored of them

[athenescence]

Just finished season 4 of soy luna I wanna FUCKING CRY

SPOILERS AHEAD❌❌🆘🆘

What did they do to this show?!!??

At first I was sad that Ámbar wouldn't be in it, but now I'm kinda glad they didn't have a chance to ruin her character. But I am really shocked how they broke up all the couples at the start.. and left us with LUMON?? at the end, are y'all fr.. weren't lutteo like set in stone for forever at this point? I know it's disney and new writing crews probably and many shows that are getting continuations are getting ruined a ton so what did I expect, but still sad. Glad it's only 12 episodes, though.

I kinda liked the whole Azul/Valeria storyline but at the end I found it kinda bland..

On a whole, I miss the old seasons and I'm glad we had them end season 3 on an amazing note and I'm currently rewatching season 1, and then 2 and 3 to get a new view on everything cause the last time I watched soy luna was likeee 7 years ago?

[athenescence]

The whole subdigitals album is soooo good, like wdym all these songs are from a cartoon? Code lyoko is the best shit ever i swear

[athenescence]

got trashed on in team chat but got potg..

and god forbid a person tries a new character in qp

[denislirinn]

Hi my name is Lirinn i'm 7 years old and I would sincerely like all chirisu fans to return

Help the child fulfill their dream.

[athenescence]

live laugh chirisu

(currently translating a fic me and my friend wrote about a reallyyyy dope chirisu au and I'll post the first chapter on ao3 soon pls hold on)

[athenescence]

I seem too pessimistic about my love life as a girl who manifests on the daily effortlessly

[athenescence]

Why tf do random people, even the most disgusting and shitty ones have relationships, love and all that and I'm struggling with it??

I mean, I think well of myself. I'm pretty, smart, interesting, but the absence of male attention has really been taking down all my confidence just because of how many people around me HAVE all of this and I dont. I never get random compliments, I don't get asked out, I don't get random gifts or any guys even interested in me. All this makes me question if I'm even as good as I think of myself

I KNOWWW people will say that "your worth is not determined by male attention" or "you should be glad you don't have to deal with them", but I feel like a core part of my life is mising: everything romantic, even vaguely romantic and sentimental. I even had fights with some of my acquaintances(??) cause I vaguely opened up about this and they just threw , "guys are intimidated by you", "if i were you I'd be happy", "you're lucky", "at least you don't have to deal with annoying guys trying to flirt w/ you" at me. BITCH I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW FLIRTING FEELS

I'm so infuriated with people. I put myself out there, I'm outgoing, I'm friendly but not too friendly, I have high standards but still NOTHING. At this point, whenever I see people falling in love again I get jealous, but not because I want them to be in love with me, I just want to be the one being loved.

I'm not jealous of the person, I'm jealous of the concept.

I feel like I'm REALLY missing out. I wanna go on dates and be sincere, or even just play around and have fun

I know one day I'll find someone and I'll be happy, but with each day passing by I feel like my happy life is slipping away and I'll be a miserable femcel forever no matter how pretty I am, no matter how amazing of a person I am.

[athenescence]

How I look when I remember any day from December 2025

[athenescence]

Life so good when you got someone who indulges in the same fandoms and games as you

[athenescence]

I want to be the reason someone stays up late. I want someone to look at my pictures for ages and admire me. I want someone to remember everything about me. I love when people remember things about me. I want to be special to someone. Special even when I'm at my lowest and I act dumb and awful. I want someone to dream of me. I just want that kind of love

[athenescence]

Oh so funny to be a freak girl, yet not have anyone point it out as BAD to you, probably just cause you're pretty.

I never get compliments in public but I still feel like my appearance saves me in many situations, especially in school, where I can say whatever not just cause I don't care but because I definitely won't be made fun of or weird people out.

When people get to know me more personally they get surprised by many things I say or topics I discuss when I'm more comfortable with them, but still never SHOKED. Again, probably because they don't see me as weird because I'm "pretty"

[athenescence]

The best connections you make are those which are unexpected and slowburned

[183280719dogma]