...

[xtec]

This is what the average YouTube thumbnail looks like now

[noneuclideangarf]

spent too long on this

[nonlynear]

[suddenly disillusioned] my illusions..

[mf-dooom]

[yetanothergreyjedi]

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

[ashtraythief]

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

[luulapants]

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

[whetstonefires]

crane husband.....

[roach-works]

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

[alex51324]

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

[thesylverlining]

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

[anais-ninja-bitch]

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

[largishcat]

[eshlimoriarty]

[lazorsandparadox]

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

[queersatanic]

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[kedreeva]

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.

[optimysticals]

Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe

[correlatedcontents]

The night is cool and balmy.

Your SECURITY GNOMES are raising an alarm.

> define 'balmy'

Balmy means "pleasantly warm."

Your stock of DICTIONARIES has decreased to 31.

Your SECURITY GNOMES report BANDIT ARTILLERY!

> observe night

The night is cool and balmy.

Your SECURITY GNOMES have entered COMBAT DELIRIUM.

> resolve temperature discrepancy

You haven't acquired enough THERMOMETERS to notice the discrepancy.

Your SECURITY GNOMES have activated the MEAT THRESHER.

[tyrantdaughter]

How To Love Your New Friend Without Being Overbearing

[tyrantdaughter]

I'm Gonna Eat Her I Think

[utopians]

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

[bluestockingbaby]

[utopians]

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

[bluestockingbaby]

[yakourinka]

unrestrained summer fun

[flamewarp]

1: She is clearly physically restrained 2: I don’t think this is taking place in summer considering all the ice and snow and fell winds and such 3: I do not believe she is having fun

[beatcroc]

imprisoned winter agony

[fluff-e-boy]

One of the most important images of all time

[nociceptrix]

me when I become the killer

[cutecipher]

[cutecipher]

[hope-for-the-planet]

70% Drop in Levels of Forever Chemicals Observed in Seabird Eggs Tracks Regulatory Success

These pescatarian birds are directly exposed to PFAS contamination due to the island's position near the St. Lawrence Seaway.

Over fifty years of data show a peak in PFAS (also known as "forever chemicals") content in seabird eggs in the 90s, followed by a decrease as regulations went into effect. The most recent findings show a 70% decrease of most common PFAS.

While continued vigilance a regulation is needed, this data indicates that regulations are working to reduce PFAS concentrations in marine ecosystems.

[sattarehi]

Yes!!!! I did a review of literature on PFASs in human drinking water about half a year ago, and there is a lot of really good progress! Please celebrate this, please don't let this solution be forgotten (at least so quickly) as the ozone layer or acid rain.

We are making genuine progress! Producers are dramatically altering how much they use PFAS and how much gets released in effluent, but also there's a lot better understanding of how to remove PFAS from the environment!

Environmental problems CAN BE SOLVED.

[hbmmaster]

I've now seen two different deltarune theory videos that describe gaster's theme as having an interval of seven semitones and then pointing out other music that uses that same interval to assess how likely it is that it's a deliberate reference to gaster's theme but without at any point clarifying that an interval of seven semitones is more commonly known as a "perfect fifth" and is actually the second most universal interval in all of music after the octave and it's actually harder to find music that doesn't contain any perfect fifths than music that does

[artbyblastweave]

How'd I cut back on caffeine? The usual. Diet, discipline. One thing that helped a lot was that I harnessed the void. I tapped into the little incipient void which sits at the heart of every thinking animal, and I fed it. I hatefully nurtured it with every malicious thought, every unkind impulse, every knee-jerk reaction best discarded, and it gorged on these things it metastasized. It swelled past the confines of my heart and fought for space with with my stomach, my liver, my intestines, winning handily, subsuming each in turn, until I was little more than a man-shaped howling wrathful abyss sheathed in taut, paper-thin human hide, wandering through this fallen world in anticipation of whatever fleeting offense finally catalyzes my inevitable rupture and detonation. And now I'm down to two, maybe three cups a day

[carlyraejepsans]

so to summarise: she DID overdo it in a very much uncharacteristic one-time-only way, she's not an alcoholic, kris was never locked out of the house (they pretended to be as part of their plan to get susie to the church dark world), toriel DID try to call, she WAS worried, sans told her he saw kris and susie hanging out and not to worry and let them spend time by themselves since they're teenagers and THAT'S when she let herself get loose, she DID realise she made susie uncomfortable and feels bad about it and hopes she didn't push her away and that she'll be back because she likes having her around, she DID notice kris was upset, her air of middle class respectability is a façade and she's probably struggling with her finances just as much as asgore, she's just more careful with her money. also sans stocked up her fridge and took out the trash before he left (my man🤝)

TLDR: never fucking doubt me again. big analysis papy untouchable

[pyxehastoomanyinterests]

sisterly bonding activities