just a hearth witch blog

Beware! The Eotchfsther stalks the land on the night of the blue supermoon. All hail Eotchfsther!

swallowingthestars

is this like the witchfather but he's just a magical old dude who complains about his achey bones all the time?

He doesn't just complain, he will steal your skeleton! But in exchange he will grant you one wish, provided it doesn't entail you leaving the encounter with a skeleton.

Especially not the 12' Home Depot skeleton.

Ok but what if I wish for a skeleton?

*unsure if taking the piss or pissing on the poor*

Ok but what if I’m doing both?

Loophole: You can wish for a skeleton for someone else, and they can wish for a skeleton for you!

Nice try, but y'all don't understand. The Eotchfsther is fundamentally unable to provide skeletons. If he could just churn out the skeletons, he wouldn't be out stalking the land and stealing skeletons to appease his aching bones.

He's almost-all-powerful. Which in this case means all-powerful except for the ability to grant skeleton-related wishes.

I see, I thought he just wanted to take my skeleton and not return it. I’m sorry Eotchfsther for misunderstanding you. I will remove my maple syrup wards and let you in to use my heating pad and have some of my medical marijuana. May it ease your aches!

Can I wish for him to take someone else’s skeleton as long as I’m okay with him also taking mine?

How far removed from a skeleton does the wish have to be?

Fuck. Okay. Hang on a second...

*Turns around and has a whispered conversation. It appears to get a bit heated, and there are gesticulations.*

*turns back around*

Alright. So here's the deal.

The Eotchfsther can do subtractive skeleton wishes, but not additive skeleton wishes. So yes, he can take away additional skeletons (and not give them to you), but he can't create them or bring them back or swap them around.

And to be clear, @stagkingswife he will not be giving your skeleton back when he's done with it. That's not how this works. He appreciates your kindness, however, and will grant you one demiwish. It's like a regular wish but half as useful. And it can't be about skeletons, gatdammit.

drafty-castle

Can a coven of 206 members provide a full skeleton by sacrificing one bone per member if they have collectively agreed upon the wish beforehand?

promiseiwillwrite

So. is there a limitation on Me staying with the Eotchfsther (so he's got my skeleton) but like I am also still using it? Like, say my Wish is to be his minion for eternity?

Unfortunately he does need to remove your skeleton from your meat in order to soothe his aching bones. If you can figure out how to be his minion as a pile of boneless meat then he can accommodate that request.

Can I wish for titanium replacement bones?

Yes, but he's not installing them for you.

aesethewitch

So could I ask for a skeleton, so long as it's not Made Of Bones?

....maybe.... but not the 12' Home Depot skeleton. And it can't be preassembled or inside of your meat. Non-bone skeleton wishes will be handled on a case by case basis.

auguriesofapollo

I'm still hung up on how each bone is 1/206th of a wish. Can they be all the same bones (like, a pinky), or do they need to compose one entire human skeleton collectively???

#rip to the guy that had to give up the skull for the multi castor wish

One entire human skeleton.

Thanks for playing!

windvexer

Spell to make plane show up? Immediately??

look at the exit door of an airport (airports take exit doors very seriously)

say, "I know the real reason you can't make the plane come. It's because the sky owns you."

The airport will then immediately clear the sky traffic and make the plane come.

#constructive shaming

lazywitchling

A quick and easy incantation could also do the trick:

"Hmm. I have to pee. I think I have time before the plane arrives."

windvexer

"They're absolutely going to cancel this flight. I have time to get a drink at the Starbucks across the terminal."

faraige

I love how this concept applies to almost everything on the regular and it works!

Yesterday I was watching a let's play from a Spanish youtuber/streamer and his game was crashing at the same specific point in the map. He couldn't go around it, he had to go through there to keep playing, so he said something along the lines of "it's making a fuss for attention. Let's all pretend we don't care. Look away and don't pay attention to it, don't give it the satisfaction so it works and stops being an asshole." He turned around and pointed at the viewers to do the same. Without looking he guided the character (it was Majora's Mask, so it was Link) to go through that point. That time it worked.

It's the classic concept of "listen, if you're going to be rude I'll just go"/"oh well, since nothing's happening I guess I'll just go do some other stuff" that we've been using forever because it works. And I love it.

lazywitchling

No don’t hashtag-delete-later, this made me so happy!

Legit, there’s something so very animistic about this. Treating inanimate objects like they’re cats knocking things off shelves because they know it gives them attention.

This is actually a bit of a cornerstone of my practice, too. A large number of the witch books I read say some variation on “you have to believe in your magic or else it won’t work!” But I counter this with my own thing: Magic better work if it wants me to keep believing in it. Sometimes spells don’t work, and when it doesn’t, I try not to start fussing and going “Oh no! My spell! Why didn’t it work? Was it something I did? Was it something I didn’t do? Let me get out my grimoire and troubleshoot!” Because I don’t want to teach that cat to knock things off shelves for attention, you know?

If a spell doesn’t work, I’m less likely to cast it again. So if magic wants me to cast it, it better do what I told it to do.

maddness-time-bby

Being a witch trying to research with books is just like:

"no"

"that's blatant misinformation"

"this guy was exposed as a nazi"

"no"

"that's historically inaccurate"

"this person was exposed as a terf"

"no"

"oh something I can use-"

lazywitchling

WITCHY PEOPLE WHO BLOG STUFF:

What’s a post of yours that you are particularly proud of? I don’t mean popular, just one you’re proud of. Could be informational, could be a diary-entry thing where you figured out something cool, could be a nice pic of your altar or whatever… anything, just A Post You’re Proud Of. Link it in the replies or reblogs!

#reblogging to go through the notes later

kaijuno

enigmattoid

The Woobles. They tell me there are supposed to be 12 stitches. But there are only 10.

I've redone it so many times and there are only ever ten.

The Woobles wouldn't betray me. No, this must be a manifestation of my own incompetence. I must ponder this conundrum before proceeding further.

enigmattoid

I forgot the increase stitches

enigmattoid

HALF-DOUBLE!?

Listen, you have to just forget about math. Half-double isn't single. It's more like single and a half. Don't worry about it. Focus instead on your own inability to count.

#yeah I'll integrate that into my belief system

Linen is a trickster spirit, but if you accept and embrace its trickster ways, you can finesse it into doing amazing things.

thesituation

NATIVE CARBON DIOXIDE FOUND ON JUPITER’S MOON EUROPA

herlockshlomes

The discovery made using NASA's powerful space telescope brings scientists a step closer to determining if the salty water oceans of Europa

casual-mitosis-collective-deact

HOLY SHIT, IT'S HAPPENING! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!

gun-witch-deactivated20250818

For those confused, this combined with liquid water being there makes this the strongest evidence of alien life to date.

These are conditions shockingly similar to earth.

rosenkranz-isnt-dead

lifewithchronicpain

For anyone wondering, the reason Europa (as well as Saturn's Enceladus) is warm enough to have oceans is because of the tidal friction from the large gas giant right next to it. (Also why Io is constantly erupting, it's so close to Jupiter it can't stop) Any life on these moons could resemble the life we have in geothermal vents and sunless depths of our own ocean.

clockworkthenightbard

YOOOOOOOOO

simplyspider

The massive spacecraft heads for Europa to search for signs of whether the ocean thought to exist beneath the moon’s icy shell could support

IT LAUNCHED MONDAY

concentriccookies

Vulture Cleric I made this mask and costume over two years and I am so excited to finally have pictures of it thanks to a close friend who took these amazing shots! <3

This costume and images have been sitting in my brain so long I'm so happy to have them out in the world~

(whoops Image ID's are added now in alt text)

teratocybernetics

'#the mask is literally a cereal box#newspaper- painters tape- paper mache- and acrylic paint#with some thin black fabric hot glued in the eye sockets so i can see out'

stormcrow513

@friend-crow

echosblanketfort

okay I actually have another piece of advice for beginner witches that I've been mulling over.

I want to talk about ✨research✨

I think when some people hear 'research', they picture people reading thick textbooks or historical documents in a library, or tower, or bedroom or what have you , and they picture these witches deeply studying then coming out of that session with a thorough understanding of what they were studying and can apply it perfectly to their craft.

Now, some people might learn well like this and more power to them, but I know I don't, and if you're reading this and you're like me, I'm here to tell you that research takes many forms.

When you buy a witchcraft book, and I do recommend reading/listening to books, you don't have to finish it before trying things. Sometimes research is reading something you find compelling in a book, then going and trying it for a week before continuing reading.

Sometimes research means being in a community of witches, whether that's two friends or a local group, and trying out techniques they've described to see if they work for you.

Sometimes not getting the results you were hoping for is research because then you can figure out why and it improves your craft.

The point of this post is, don't be afraid to include practical application to your craft. I have spent a lot of time thinking I needed to perfect the knowledge in my mind before trying anything and I'm here to tell you that more often than not, it won't work.

You can't know what works for you if you're not working it (or something idk)

you gotta do stuff and not compare yourself to the image of a perfect witch that you've created in your brain

You can learn information through reading, but you can't learn skills without doing.

Even something like writing, where some of the most common advice for improving is "read more", doesn't work like that. Reading all the best novels in the world will give you a good grasp of how language can be used, but that doesn't mean you will then be able to sit down and write an amazing novel with no prior writing practice.

You have to actually do the thing, and understand that it might not work on the first try.

Apparently dandelion is also known as "piss-a-bed" and is "well-known" to children to cause bed wetting if you pick it.

Which begs the question, is that information actually not at all well-known, or is the knowledge specific to children and forgotten upon crossing the threshold of adulthood?

#I'm not converting but i do respect the authority of Catholic priests in this scenario #i just also believe i could fight a demon with my fists like how edward fought god in fma #all agnostics have this power i think

Silly alternative names for common plants!

agrimony - sticklewort

borage - bee bread, cool tankard 😎

comfrey - ass ear

dandelion - piss-a-bed, swine's snout

foxglove - cow-flop

hawthorn - bread and cheese

henbane - dog-piss

hops - beer flower

lavender - nard

mugwort - muggers, muggons, felon's herb

nettle - hokey pokey

parsley - devil's oatmeal

pennyroyal - run-by-the-ground, lurk-in-the-ditch (I am going to suggest the addition of slam-in-the-back-of-my-dragula)

plantain - rat tail

rue - herbygrass

skullcap - madweed

tansy - stinking willie

valerian - bloody butcher, pretty Betsy

Source: Wortcunning, by Nigel G. Pearson

orcposts

it's not enough to be whimsical anymore. you need a hammer now. a Hammer.

orcposts

a Hammer.

jellogram

Okay listen I do not believe in demons and I have never been any sort of Christian other than the free range organic hippie kind. I have no loyalty or faith in the Catholic church and never have.

But if an actual demon was possessing me or my loved one or my house, I'm calling a goddam priest. I want the Catholickest and priestiest Catholic priest available. I want some guy named Father Ignatius who has speaks fluent Latin and has never jerked off in his life and spends all his free time illuminating manuscripts.

Because what is Youth Pastor Tyler gonna do with fucking Asmodeus? Sing a song about abstinence? I have to face the facts and realize that the Catholics are significantly more equipped to deal with demons than us. The second that demons turn out to be real I'm converting.

Beware! The Eotchfsther stalks the land on the night of the blue supermoon. All hail Eotchfsther!

swallowingthestars

is this like the witchfather but he's just a magical old dude who complains about his achey bones all the time?

He doesn't just complain, he will steal your skeleton! But in exchange he will grant you one wish, provided it doesn't entail you leaving the encounter with a skeleton.

Especially not the 12' Home Depot skeleton.

Ok but what if I wish for a skeleton?

*unsure if taking the piss or pissing on the poor*

Ok but what if I’m doing both?

Loophole: You can wish for a skeleton for someone else, and they can wish for a skeleton for you!

Nice try, but y'all don't understand. The Eotchfsther is fundamentally unable to provide skeletons. If he could just churn out the skeletons, he wouldn't be out stalking the land and stealing skeletons to appease his aching bones.

He's almost-all-powerful. Which in this case means all-powerful except for the ability to grant skeleton-related wishes.

I see, I thought he just wanted to take my skeleton and not return it. I’m sorry Eotchfsther for misunderstanding you. I will remove my maple syrup wards and let you in to use my heating pad and have some of my medical marijuana. May it ease your aches!

Can I wish for him to take someone else’s skeleton as long as I’m okay with him also taking mine?

How far removed from a skeleton does the wish have to be?

Fuck. Okay. Hang on a second...

*Turns around and has a whispered conversation. It appears to get a bit heated, and there are gesticulations.*

*turns back around*

Alright. So here's the deal.

The Eotchfsther can do subtractive skeleton wishes, but not additive skeleton wishes. So yes, he can take away additional skeletons (and not give them to you), but he can't create them or bring them back or swap them around.

And to be clear, @stagkingswife he will not be giving your skeleton back when he's done with it. That's not how this works. He appreciates your kindness, however, and will grant you one demiwish. It's like a regular wish but half as useful. And it can't be about skeletons, gatdammit.

drafty-castle

Can a coven of 206 members provide a full skeleton by sacrificing one bone per member if they have collectively agreed upon the wish beforehand?

promiseiwillwrite

So. is there a limitation on Me staying with the Eotchfsther (so he's got my skeleton) but like I am also still using it? Like, say my Wish is to be his minion for eternity?

Unfortunately he does need to remove your skeleton from your meat in order to soothe his aching bones. If you can figure out how to be his minion as a pile of boneless meat then he can accommodate that request.

Can I wish for titanium replacement bones?

Yes, but he's not installing them for you.

aesethewitch

So could I ask for a skeleton, so long as it's not Made Of Bones?