August is Autistic

A place for me to ramble about whatever I feel like rambling about (a lot of it is related to autism)

[augustisautistic]

Introductory Post

On September 22, 2025, I received my formal diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I wasn't having a great time before the assessment, or between the assessment and the appointment to get my results back, and I didn't feel that the assessment went that well, but it worked out in the end. I'm aware that makes me very lucky, and that's part of the reason why I'm here.

Why a Tumblr?

The main driving force for both me realizing I was autistic and seeking a formal diagnosis were because of people sharing their experiences online. Mainly through YouTube videos and podcasts, but through text-based channels as well. If their content didn't exist and wasn't so easily accessible, I wouldn't be here. It only seems appropriate that I try to pay it forward by doing the same. Plus, it will be nice to have somewhere for me to discuss my thoughts without having to worry about getting shut down or feeling like I'm killing the vibe or conversation. I imagine this page will essentially be a diary, just one that's publicly accessible just in case someone finds it interesting or helpful. I've always felt more comfortable with the written word than the spoken word, and Tumblr is one of the few places that has (mostly) felt safe to me, so it was no question that I would decide to make an account here.

What will I post?

I don't plan to post on any specific schedule, as I don't want to burn myself out or make this feel like work. I do have a list of topics I'd like to talk about, but there's no telling how long it will take me to want to post about them. You can probably expect a fair amount of book reviews and album breakdowns, though.

Who am I?

It seemed better for me to just list everything out upfront instead of only mentioning them when they become relevant, as I'd likely forget what I had/hadn't mentioned. With that in mind, here are some facts about me as of September 22, 2025:

My name is August (hence the name of the blog)

I'm 22 years old

I'm genderfluid and use she/they pronouns

I live in the United States, in Georgia

I still live with my parents

I was diagnosed with level 1 (requires support) in both social communication and RRB's.

I don't have ADHD (as I know someone will probably ask at some point)

If you read this far, thank you. Maybe I'll see you around some time.

Posts I want to keep track of:

A complete timeline of my special interests

My 2026 to-do list

[augustisautistic]

Having the same identity label as Chucky's child is pretty cool ngl

[augustisautistic]

I know I'm deep into the book world because I correctly guessed which book a movie was based on with only the first 3-4 shots from the trailer, and I haven't even read the book.

I've just watched enough reviews of the book that I recognized the pivotal scenes.

[quasi-normalcy]

[augustisautistic]

I'm tired as shit but also feel an incessant need to yap so I may or may not end up sharing my favorite queer songs this month. However I would like to share something at least on the first day so. Enjoy.

[thememedaddy]

[augustisautistic]

My computer's been broken for almost two weeks and not being able to play any games has sucked but it's getting fixed today!!

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

[augustisautistic]

Today I had a great reminder of just how much more reliant I am on concrete details and extra information than most other people.

One of my extended relatives graduated from college recently, and her family threw a graduation party. The first layer of lack of concrete information comes from the fact that my mom told my dad and me that this party was happening, but that she couldn't remember exactly when. She gave us the day but said it was either 1-4 PM or 4-6 PM, and that she'd have to double check the information for sure. I reminded her several times, a few days apart each time, to get back to me about when exactly the party was. One time when I asked her, she said she hadn't put it in her calendar yet (this was a few weeks after she's been officially invited).

The next layer is that she eventually told me the event started at 4, so I assumed that meant the event was from 4-6, as that was what she'd told me previously and didn't correct herself when she actually checked the invite. I got hired for a petsitting job on the same day, but it was one where I just walked the dogs a couple times a day and fed them around 4, so I figured I could feed the dogs and then drive over to the party. I was talking to my mom about it, saying I'd bring a change of clothes and change in the car after I took care of the dogs. I said I wasn't a big fan of the fact that I would only get to be at the party for about half of it, due to how far of a drive it was from the house I was petsitting at. My mom looked at me, confused, and said, "It ends at 6?" I told her that's what she told me when she gave me the information, and she just kinda went "oh yeah I guess" and we checked the physical invite together only to discover that there was no end time.

So at this point I'm trying to figure out if the party actually doesn't have an end time or if there's some socially accepted amount of time that a party is supposed to last and that people only feel the need to specify when it isn't that. My mom told me it was probably the first one, at which point I asked her how I was supposed to know when to leave. Surely they want everyone gone by a certain time, right? What if I stay too late and they get annoyed with me? What if I leave too early and they think I don't like them?

Also, the event was held outside, which is another detail that wasn't mentioned at all. I don't know if the person who invited us didn't think it was worth noting or if my mom just forgot about that by the time the information got to me, but she assumed it was outside and was correct and I assumed it was inside and genuinely considered just going home when I realized it wasn't. Luckily my dad brought a fan and let me use it, so I wasn't hot to the point of having to leave before I had a meltdown. (He also walked up to greet me when I arrived, gave me a breakdown of the different foods that were available, pulled up a chair so I could sit next to him near the back and provided me with cold water, all of which without me even saying anything, what a legend.)

There was no kind of structure to the party at all, which I didn't mind as much since I was late due to my job and probably would've felt more stressed if I'd actually missed something, but the lack of communication about what few planned events there were (they brought out the cake at around 6, then cut it without bringing anyone's attention to it and just started handing out slices, I don't even know what the cake looked like 😭. They also decided to do a group picture pretty much immediately after my dad and I left; my mom stayed a bit longer and told us about it. And I didn't even see the person who graduated until near the end) did make the whole thing seem a bit chaotic.

It wasn't a bad experience, necessarily. The food was good, and I did talk to a few new people while having my dad there to hang out with so I didn't feel too out of my depth. I moreso just noted the lack of concrete planning because it took a lot more energy to do all that than it did my mom, for example. I also couldn't relax after I got back, almost like my brain was still trying to work at full capacity even though there was no need for it anymore.

I just can't imagine throwing a party (especially one at my house!) and not having a time that I needed people to start clearing out by.

[augustisautistic]

I tried to go to the gym today, and I did physically get there, but the first thing that happened when I walked in was that one of the managers said "didn't you used to work here?" which did reactivate my fear about drawing attention to myself because so many people at the gym know me. It was also hot as fuck outside (has been for several consecutive days now, summer hasn't even properly started yet and I'm already yearning for it to end) and the AC in my car isn't super great on top of that, so I was burning up already. I sat at a little rest area in between the fitness center and the bathrooms and listened to a podcast + drank water so I'd cool down enough before I started working out for it to be reasonable.

BUT there were a lot of people in the fitness center and walking past where I was (I used to go at less busy times, but I haven't been going at all so I thought just getting in there when I could would be good enough) so I started getting increasingly anxious, so I went to hide in one of the changing rooms until I calmed down. This took about an hour, and it wasn't as effective as I would've liked because I did the same shit when I worked there so I was just remembering how much anxiety I had then and the instances when my manager would come in to look for me or text me asking me where I was. Anyway, I eventually calmed down enough to go into the fitness center but there were still so many people and it was so loud AND they've bought new equipment and moved stuff around so nothing felt right AND someone who I knew was working tonight and I was terrified she'd see me so I ended up working out for about 5 minutes before it got to be too much and I left.

So then I was thinking about how much time and gas I wasted doing all this (especially with gas being as expensive as it is) and I ended up almost crying on the way home.

My dad asked if I was upset about something and I said no. I considered telling my mom but decided not to, in part because my dad was in the room when she first asked how it went and I lied, so if I went back and told her now I'd also have to tell her that I lied and why. The thing is, I feel like whenever something like this happens, instead of the takeaway being "wow my daughter must actually be having a rough time if something that simple was so hard for her," it's usually "wow my daughter is still making excuses instead of actually trying to do anything."

My dad JUST said what a big deal it was that I stood up for myself when someone took my seat at the movie theater 😭 I hate it here.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

"Clearly I wasn't talking about disabled people-" yeah part of the problem is that the existence of disabled people just isn't considered in your worldview like that's the problem we're criticizing not a get out of jail free card

[theocseason4]

my bad for assuming everyone has critical thinking skills btw

[aidenisobsessed]

So stupid that I, as an aroallo, find personality the most important factor of someone's attractiveness.

Like how am I meant to keep my reputation up like this? When someone being a good communicator makes me fold instantly???

[justcallmedom31]

And I'm like allergic to Peanut Butter yall, so take it from me, you are rad!

[augustisautistic]

I just got back from a movie, and the theater I went to is one of the ones where you buy a specific seat. You can access the chart online to order your tickets in advance, as well as check how many seats are still available, but you can also just buy them once you get in there. I bought mine online a couple days before the movie because I noticed a lot of the seats were already filling up, and considering I had no way of knowing how many people would buy their tickets just before the movie, I didn't want to risk it. I managed to get a seat on the end one row up from the back, which was nice.

Anyway, I got into the theater and someone was in my seat. I told them as much with no hesitation whatsoever, and they seemed almost confused? Somehow it turned into them having a 3/4 way conversation with the people who I assume they came with while they played musical chairs until both the person in my seat and the person next to them went down the row and someone else who was farther down the row sat next to me. Just before the movie started, when they played the "locate the nearest exit, enjoy your movie" thing, the person next to me whispered "Enjoy your movie? I'm not so far," or something like that to the person next to them. I don't know it was related and don't want to assume, but it was kinda weird.

I know it's somewhat common, in less populated theaters, for people to spread out or choose a different seat once the movie starts and we can somewhat reasonably assume that everyone who's coming is already there. I've done it a few times, including one instance when someone next to me was snoring so loud that I couldn't hear anything else until I sat a few seats away. But I feel like a key component of that is waiting until the movie starts, or at least being aware that someone might come in and want the seat they paid for. So I don't know why my being there threw them off so much.

I'm kinda surprised that I just dealt with the problem immediately. I think there were a handful of factors:

1) I'd been planning this excursion for a few days now. Part of what made that plan feel doable was knowing exactly where I'd have to sit, so that brief moment where I questioned where I was supposed to be sitting was so uncomfortable that I wanted it to end immediately.

2) The theater was really full (there were 4 tickets still available the last time I checked the website) so I knew I couldn't easily find somewhere else to sit.

3) The fact that the stairs/walkways are so narrow means everyone will have already seen me and was already perceiving me, so any hesitation or back-and-forth would have been noticed and probably would make me look weird.

4) I had three levels of verification (me checking my seat placement when I ordered the ticket online, the person who checked my ticket verbally telling me which auditorium/seat I'd be in, and the ticket itself that I read one last time before I made my declaration), so I was about as confident I was right as I could be.

I haven't seen that many movies in theaters by myself. This was the fourth time, with the first time being back in 2023. I solely did it the first time because I knew my parents would hate the movie I went to see and it would probably result in a fight afterwards, and the anxiety thinking about that was worse than the anxiety of going alone. I have a good time once I actually sit down and get settled in, it's just getting there that's the problem. I have made sure to bring a stim toy the past two times (the third instance was a few weeks ago, I'm accelerating), and I kinda just hold onto it throughout the movie. I am more aware of my movements, the noise I make, etc than I probably need to be, but all things considered this is an improvement for me.

[seerofmike]

too lazy to retype this but . insane interaction w coworker last night

[seerofmike]

tell me you have never worked in customer service without telling me you've never worked in customer service

[no-one-offical]

‎

[benbrusque]

Aside from the glaring anti cluster B nonsense, I've worked retail and fast food. It's disgusting how much they expect you to act. Especially when customers are being rude to you

[augustisautistic]

This is wild to me on so many levels because

1) Casual cluster B demonization, you love to see it (sarcasm).

2) I quite literally refuse to believe that anyone's natural day-to-day personality is a perfect match for a customer service job. Even people who talk "too much" get told off for bothering customers or slacking off. Like I thought it was universally recognized that customer service jobs suck so much because you have to pretend to be a Perfect Person™ to the extent that it's dehumanizing. Maybe OP's coworkers don't have enough self awareness to know they're playing up all the right traits? I don't know, that just seems weird to me.

3) Since when does having a tattoo and having had an eyebrow piercing contradict with being pure and innocent? What does that even mean in this context?

What is even going on 😭

[augustisautistic]

I've started rewatching Merlin for the first time since I watched it as it aired when I was a child. It was the first show my dad and I watched together, of which there have been a few. It was fundamental to the development of my interests in fiction, heavily impacting both the stories I choose to engage with and the stories that I create. I was worried that watching it again would take away the magic (pun not intended) of what it did to me, but so far the opposite seems to be the case.

I think I underestimated the effect it had on my development. There are multiple shows that I'm constantly rewatching because I find them comforting, and special interest related shows/movies that give me plenty of Good Feelings™, but I think me having watched it at such a fundamental age has a big impact on how it makes me feel. I knew that there were many scenes and plotlines I remembered with near perfect accuracy, which is quite different from how most pieces of media stick in my brain for a few months before I only remember the basic vibe and one or two scenes. What I didn't realize is how clearly I remembered the intro and music until I sat down to watch it.

The whole show radiates a sense of comfort so deep that it's almost overwhelming; I've found myself stimming a lot, gasping and awing at the scenes I'd remembered so clearly, and sometimes feeling the urge to cry. It feels like every moment spent watching it is a moment spent remembering the entire show, as well as how deeply invested child me was in everything. It was a constant for years; a new season would come out, and every weekend my dad and I would sit down and watch 1-3 episodes, and I tried to memorize every little detail because I knew it would be a week before we could do it again. When it ended I was devastated, but it was so perfectly encapsulated in my memory that I thought rewatching it would ruin it. Now here I am as an adult, pinpointing specific scenes and characters that solidified my interests in different themes and arcs and dialogue and everything else I love about stories.

Also, I don't know what Amazon means by this, but this being the one show I've found that has this tag is hilarious to me.

It's not even a special interest of mine, it just feels targeted 😭

Specific details about the show below, there's no spoilers or anything, I just doubt they'll make much sense if you haven't seen it.

The NPC guards are so funny to me. I notice them and point them out in any show/movie I see with dispensable, nameless masses of characters, and even though I know Merlin didn't create the concept, it always serves as a reference to it in my mind.

Lancelot is so based, and I'm not sure I appreciated that as a child. It makes perfect sense to me why everyone who interacted with him was enamoured with him.

Thinking about various reveals that the show is leading up to is so exciting. I'm just waiting for the iconic moments because they killed me the first time around and I'm excited for it to happen again.

Every episode having some iteration of the phrase "he/you saved my life" is taking me out 😭 they're so dramatic all the time

I similarly love Merlin wearing the same outfit in every single episode. The costume department really said "no that's enough" and I wouldn't have it any other way

The chanting and the eyes glowing and aaaaaaa

I didn't know what the word "ward" meant when I was a child, so I just thought Uther had a very over the top way of referring to Morgana as his daughter, which meant I always found it super uncomfortable when Morgana and Arthur would entertain being interested in each other.

I love how janky the magical creatures look. Truly top tier television.

Every time one of the shots from the intro shows up in an episode I wanna SCREAM (/pos)