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Not today Justin
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@autumnsoldier13
having a snuggable animal in your home is like a constant minigame of ancestral persistence hunting, every morning this beast is getting yoinked from various parts of the house to indulge our daily ritual of bringing him back to bed for cuddling purposes. im like the doom guy in hell meme but instead of ronald reagan im looking for my cat
is this anything
The amount of safety features incorporated into modern cars is unreal. I've seen crashes where the car flipped over and the occupant only had minor injuries. My dad was t-boned by someone speeding off the highway and walked away with a broken arm. The car was completely smashed except for the passenger compartment, which was curtained on all sides with airbags. That one manufacturer has decided they are exempt from implementing all these advancements disgusting and terrifying
When I was going through driver's ed I was taught that the steering column would stab through your chest if you crashed head on and that was just the way it was. We do not want to go back, not even a little
The point of car safety features is that the car is supposed to die in an accident so you don't have to. Your car should be a pile of smoking rubble after an accident, and you should be fine.
I totaled my first car. Like, the car itself just stopped where the windshield met the dashboard. Ahead of that point, there was no more car. It was gone.
Me? I had some really spectacular bruises and a lil friction burn on my nose from where Mr. Airbag and Ms. Glasses had a disagreement. That's it. That's it.
I was driving a little tiny coupe and went more or less head-on with a pickup truck. The entire engine and hood of my car was twisted rubble that was not connected to the rest of the car afterward. I sat down on the verge, about twenty or thirty feet from the accident, while I waited for the cops and EMTs to work their way through the traffic backup to get to us, and found that I was sitting beside one of the headlights of my car. The whole entire headlight, bulb and reflector and cover and frame and all.
All I had were bruises and that little friction burn. That's it.
Crumple zones save lives. So do seatbelts and airbags; half the bruising was the exact shape of my seatbelt in livid crimson and black on my torso. It was and remains the most insanely intense bruising I have ever experienced in my life. BUT IT WAS JUST BRUISING!! Unpleasant, sure, but eminently survivable and didn't even require much treatment beyond not wearing a bra for a few days. But all the force that created that spectacular bruising was force that wasn't flinging me through the windshield or impaling me on the steering column. My car crumpled and crushed and dissolved but it held me safe and secure and protected.
Crumple zones save lives. You do not want your car to look undamaged after the accident, because that means it made like a Newton's Cradle and passed every bit of the impact straight through to your soft and highly crushable body.
#it's worth noting the tesla is being towed#it's not in a drivable condition#chances are the internals are fucked#given how difficult repairs on one of those would be it's probably also now scrap
"Humans are the crumple zone" is basically how tech bros view people who aren't on their tax bracket in general. This makes for a perfectly apt visual metaphor.
It’s also a great encapsulation on the conservative views of “toughness” and “weakness,” as well as gender and self-sufficiency.
Basic physics. In a collision there is a lot of energy being transferred to the car. Either the car directs that energy into crumpling or it shunts it to you. If it shunts it to you, you become the smoothie in a blender. The energy cannot just disappear. It has to go somewhere. It is the Law.
i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper
You’re really good at origami holy sh
i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situationÂ
Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?
same bitch
Yeah, neither of these things happened 👍🏼
listen here my good hoe, i can’t find photos of the 2000 nickels or the 20 stars, but i did not spend weeks planning meticulously inconvenient birthday gifts over a period of years just to get whaled on by internet gremlins. here is some equally compelling evidence for an anecdote i was saving for later:
it weighed 68.6 lbs
same hellion yes
The time of his life.
Melon collies
I can no longer feel the infinite sadness
get to know me meme: [6/??] female characters ↪ JENNA ORTEGA as WEDNESDAY ADDAMS in WEDNESDAY (2022—)
WEDNESDAY ADDAMS IN EVERY EPISODE S01E01 | Wednesday’s Child Is Full of Woe
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON (2010) dir. CHRIS SANDERS & DEAN DEBLOIS
“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat
comedians can only dream of writing something this funny
Rest in peace Sam 🕊️ 1947-2026
reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head
bucky barnes + 👋✌️
sleepless in the onyx night but now the sky is opalite
I love very specific cakes
I had to redraw this cake 🍰
A companion:
Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Ooh coming up we should celebrate
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY
moon day is 20th July!!!
Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!
I scheduled this in 2025 to give you all a week to make Moon Day Monday preparations! I think I will order a little rocket cake or bake some moon phase cookies!
It's coming, cousins. ...This could be as big as March 15th if we made it that way...
Tumblr being the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension site makes sense when you realize that 79% of adults in the US are functionally illiterate. Same goes for Twitter and TikTok.
that's a real high number, sport. where'd you get it?
hey anon
please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation
