A Very Gay Frog

25 - they/them

[celestialhouses]

dare I say harrowhark nonagesimus

[adapto]

stop

[tachikoma]

Im not gay can you explain this?

[devon-aoki]

the burrito turned him straight

[forthegothicheroine]

Sometimes reading Arthuriana feels like reading Alice in Wonderland.

“Well,” said Alice, “these are a dreadfully strange assortment of objects!”

“They all symbolize different aspects of Our Lord’s martyrdom,” said the Fisher King, casting a line into his teacup.

“Indeed. I am sure everything symbolizes something else, for if everything was only itself I should be very confused. Might I ask what the point of the bleeding lance is?”

Alice regretted asking the question as soon as she had done so, for she saw the pun that would likely be made about the word point. Instead, however, the room erupted in applause and shouts of “The Grail! She has achieved the Grail!”

The next castle she visited, Alice resolved to herself as the inhabitants of this one danced for joy, would be more sensible.

[forthegothicheroine]

Or I could do this with The Knight of the Cart.

“Which shall you choose?” asked the guardian. “The underwater bridge or the sword bridge?”

“Both sound dreadful,” said Alice. “I think I’ll just float the cart across.”

The guardian sputtered so hard his helmet broke.

“You cannot ride in a cart to rescue a queen!”

“I don’t see why not,” said Alice, growing cross. “It can’t be worse than abducting a queen.”

“Oh, much worse! For to abduct a Queen is wicked but heard of, while to save he on a cart is virtuous and unheard of.”

“Oh, tosh!” said Alice, floating the cart.

[forthegothicheroine]

“If you cut my head off,” said the Green Knight, “then in a year and a day, I shall cut off yours.”

“Certainly not!” said Alice.  “For if you can survive such a blow, it would be quite unfair to me, and if you cannot, then I will have killed a man over a silly game!”

“Silly games are the most important thing in the world,” said the Green Knight, “for it is after them that we judge honor.”

Alice thought to herself that if this was honor, adults could keep it.

[forthegothicheroine]

In honor of a thing that keeps popping up in Arthurian novels I read…

“You have nothing to fear,” said the robber knight, “for you are traveling alone. Everyone knows a knight may not attack a maiden alone, but only a maiden traveling with a knightly protector!”

“That can’t possibly be a law,” said Alice. “Camelot is absurd, but not that absurd.”

“It is not a law, but a custom.” The robber knight sounded as if he were lecturing a fool, which Alice felt was very unfair of him. “Customs are far more important than laws, for laws may change, but customs never do.”

Alice didn’t think that was true, but she would not argue the point.

“What about attacking a knight?” she asked. “Can someone attack a lone knight, or only a knight traveling with a maiden?”

“One may attack a knight any time and under any circumstance. That is the meaning of the word ‘knight’- he can be attacked by day or by knight!”

With the understanding that, as a maiden traveling alone, she might attack the knight and he could not return the attack, Alice picked up a handful of rocks from the ground and began to throw them at him. She was not generally an unruly child, but everyone has their limits.

[forthegothicheroine]

“And this,” said Morgan le Fay, witch queen of the isles, “is my healing potion.” She gestured to a luminous, bubbling concoction in a pewter cauldron, which issued a smell that was a bit like lavender and a bit like castor oil. “I keep an endless supply of it, should my brother King Arthur ever fall to a mortal blow with none else who could heal him.”

Alice thought this sounded reasonable enough, until a thought occurred to her. (That was the trouble with thoughts- they upset otherwise reasonable conversation.)

“Didn’t you try to kill your brother?” she asked. “With a cloak that turned into fire?”

“Yes,” said Morgan. “What of it?”

“It seems,” said Alice as politely as possible (for she did not wish to anger a woman who could turn clothes into fire) “that nearly killing your brother and then saving him is going to a great deal of trouble, which could be avoided by simply not killing him at all.”

“Ah,” said Morgan chidingly, “foolish child! If I did not strike the mortal blow against Arthur, then how would he know to be grateful to me when I saved him?”

Alice considered quarrels she’d had with her sister, and was thankful that neither of them were witches.

[forthegothicheroine]

“A curse upon me,” Mordred cried, “a curse that ever I was born! I have brought ruin upon Camelot, and an end to the days of noble knights, all by my destiny to slay my father!”

Alice looked about, just in case the city of Camelot had fallen while she wasn’t looking. It hadn’t. She felt very sorry to see Mordred weep, and when he ignored her offer of a handkerchief, she thought she might be able to settle things simply by making an observation.

“You haven’t destroyed Camelot!” she noted with a bright tone. “Look, it’s still here!”

“What does that matter?” Mordred snapped. “I must mourn now for the dead I will cause, for I will not have time after I have killed them! Just as my father should have repented for all the infants he could have drowned alongside me on May Day, as he would not had time afterwards!”

“But he didn’t,” Alice pointed out. “You’re not drowned.” She hadn’t personally thought King Arthur the infant-drowning sort, but if he was, he had clearly missed at least one. “And you haven’t killed him, either!”

“And thus, because he did not repent and then proceed to drown me and all the other boys, I must mourn and then proceed to kill him and everyone else! One of us has to get destiny going around here, even if he’s slacking!”

Alice put a head to her forehead, which was beginning to hurt. Perhaps she was the one who had sustained a blow to the skull in the tournament rather than Mordred.

[forthegothicheroine]

Alice had once seen a giraffe in a zoo, and was rather excited to see one in the wild. When she finally encountered the Questing Beast, however, it turned out it really was a strange creature with the neck of a snake, the body of a leopard, the haunches of a lion and the feet of a deer. In retrospect, she really should have anticipated that.

“Beware, human child,” said the Beast over the sound of hurgling and gurgling in its belly, “for I am an ill omen!”

“I am very sorry to hear it,” said Alice. “Can you go to a doctor for that?”

“My birth was a very unpleasant story,” it said as if it had not heard her.

“In that case,” Alice said quickly, “you needn’t-”

“It began with a pair of royal siblings and an incubus…”

Alice sighed and slumped down on the ground, knowing this to be the start of a story she wasn’t going to easily escape from.

[forthegothicheroine]

“This sword,” said the Lady of the Lake, “proclaims its bearer the True King of the Britons!”

“Oh,” said Alice. “Pardon me for asking, but I thought King Arthur already had a sword proclaiming him the True King of the Britons. I think he got it from a stone?”

“Ah,” said the Lady, “but this is Excalibur, the better sword!”

“I thought the other sword was Excalibur?” Alice should have probably let the subject drop, but she was going to have trouble talking about any of this if she couldn’t get it straight.

“No,” said the Lady, “that was Caliburn! Sometimes called Excalibur! This is also Excalibur!”

“But King Arthur already has-”

The Lady thrust the sword towards her, and although it was larger than she was tall, Alice took it, if only to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.

“Which do you prefer,” asked the Lady, “the sword or its sheath?”

“I didn’t really want either of them,” said Alice. “But I suppose the sword, since that’s what you’ve been making such a fuss over.”

“Then you are a fool!” proclaimed the Lady, “for the sheath is far more valuable!”

Alice, who had had quite enough of this by now, stomped off with the sword and sheath through the water.

[incognitopolls]

The majority of your all-nighters (or near all-nighters) were caused by…

Actually too much work

Perfectly reasonable amount of work, but couldn't start it/procrastinated

Brain wouldn't quiet down (including anxiety, etc)

Insomnia

Out on the town/partying/clubbing/etc

Activities with friends or another non-party/club/etc social engagement

Just got lost in whatever I was doing and next thing I knew it was Tomorrow

Something else

I've never had an all-nighter or anything close to one

Voting ended onJul 29, 2024

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[07242024-deactivated20240725]

[07242024-deactivated20240725]

i got the job

[alexaloraetheris]

Litany against unemployment.

[mammalianconglomerate-deactivat]

reblog for a good job

[viralfrog]

[romanpaulov]

But moooom! 😒

[blackbeautyro]

zoemodiga

[only-cat-memes]

[travalicious]

why is this the hottest thing i've ever seen

[travalicious]

HE SHOWED UP WITH A DUEL DISK TODAY?????

[schakira]

AND ALL FIVE EXODIA PIECES

[gay-jesus-probably]

I need everyone to know that I looked it up, and Noah Lyles is doing this as part of an ongoing bet he has with shotput competitor Chase Jackson. She's wearing Naruto accessories every day, and if Lyles whips out Yugioh cards at every race, then for the shotput finals Jackson will re-enact the scene of Rock Lee dropping his weights.

This is now the only part of the Olympics that I care about.

edit: this is not the olympics. I'm an idiot. it's the USA qualifiers for the olympics, but our boy Lyles has won every race so he's definitely going to be taking Exodia to the Olympics, and i for one cannot wait

[stagbeetleboy]

I accidentally started a project much too ambitious for me to ever finish

[stagbeetleboy]

Not even done laying out the lighting but this is what I’m working on bittttch.

I also gotta make Pasiphaë’s hair longer like her mosaic

[the-haiku-bot]

I also gotta

make Pasiphaë’s hair longer

like her mosaic

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[codecicle-archive]

i don't care if you live in new york city get normal about drug addicts sometime soon or jump in front of the trains

[codecicle-archive]

i promise you that person on fent bent over + swaying in rags is having a worse couple hours than you've ever had in your entire life. i promise you that person begging for money on the subway is going throughs something 1000% worse than you having to avoid their eyes while going to a restaurant. i swear on my life that person talking to themselves in public isn't evil or the devil or going to kill you. i think you need to get the fuck over yourself and stop acting like you're suuuchhh an NYC native and being afraid of all drug-heavy areas and posting videos of people on the trains like "only in the city! lol!". i think you should learn how to either have some compassion or shut the fuck up

[aidashakur]

[dovai]

be busy. busy not checking messages. busy reading those books you never started or finished. busy having a good night of sleep. busy taking care of yourself and your skin. busy moving your body. busy helping your community. busy reflecting on your life and what you can improve. busy doing things aside from the capitalistic viewpoint of “productivity.” busy slowing down.

[diamondgrlteam]

>>>>>

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

I don’t even know what to fucking say. This is some of the scummiest “fuck you got mine” shit I’ve ever seen from a fellow trans girl

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

Btw in case people are wondering if she’s aware of the implications of what she’s advocating for:

She’s fully willing to sacrifice every trans child in her quest to achieve respectability politics

[homoluigi]

I like New Jersey's standard where teachers cannot lie if directly asked by a parent but are strongly discouraged from bringing it up

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

That’s bad actually! Lying to abusers to protect their children from their abuse is good and making that illegal is bad. This is pretty uncomplicated

[thememedaddy]

[catchymemes]