Shxt Faced

.....or not

[plifpliff]

[walkhimdown]

[g1sunstreaker]

[momunofu-deactivated20150808]

chillin on a Saturday night

[thepope]

Calm down jojo

[momunofu-deactivated20150808]

you’re right, I am looking a little stiff here, I should try to relax

[sparkafterdark-deactivated20181]

You call that “chillin”?

Everyone knows the best way to relax is with a good book and a warm drink

[totallyfubar]

I dunno, man,

 sometimes I like just relaxing on my laptop

[witchchad-deactivated20160310]

get on my level boys

[sparkafterdark-deactivated20181]

Unfortunately to “get on your level” I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

[nerdgul]

Thats gotta be the sickest burn ive ever read holy fuck

[tyrannosarcophagous]

this post appears once every million years

[sparkafterdark-deactivated20181]

I kept hoping someone else would one up me and I’d have to escalate even further but nobody has.

[pettycentral]

[asknoahstuff-deactivated2017041]

Reblog and search your favorite game and add the first gif that pops up

[odiousmercy-deactivated20181212]

[redeemthefallenuniverses-deacti]

[alphabeowolf-ism]

[aren-freya]

[theorangetanuki]

[eli-the-writer-guy-deactivated2]

[smh0217]

[ooreeves]

[arc-carnage-deactivated20200603]

[beacon-slut-academy]

[necroterra-deactivated20190106]

[moved2426]

[jaderapbit-deactivated20221016]

[lover-of-robots-and-aliens]

[coolsaddad-blog]

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

[feels-for-the-fictional]

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

[marzipanandminutiae]

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

[ineptshieldmaid]

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

[squeeful]

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[last-flight-of-dickarus]

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

[wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman]

DYING. I AM DYING.

[kiranovember]

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

[simonalkenmayer]

This post has evolved.

[maybe-you-need-this]

[hallucin8]

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

[lo-kaia]

Thanks I hate it

[fifty-shadesofgay]

partner: *cums*

me: great! will you be needing anything else today?

[ruffboi-mags]

Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice

[taviacw]

You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.

[joze1123]

旅立つ僕を

[amateur]

[babyanimalgifs]

Animal snaps

[pepewriter-blog]

-Naruto Uzumaki

[incognegroo]

Big mood

[pioneerman]

I slept in and laughed way too much at this

[icameas-roman]

THE NOISESSSSS LMFAOOOOOOOO

[localstarboy]

Get Out wasn’t the 1st racist horror concept Jordan Peele was apart of.

Watch this.

[neooosoul]

LMFAO

[sutureblue-deactivated20200308]

into it.

// featuring my roommate, Maggie.

[bellygangstaboo]

I am deceased

[bellygangstaboo]

minor update:

[enbyriot]

reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them

[sutureblue-deactivated20200308]