Awwsomeness

[awwsomeness]

I did death to my own life.

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

Are you

Dead

Inside

Do you

Need to

Hide

Just to

Finally

Try

When you

Want to

Die

Mentally

I'm dead

Physically

I'm alive

My body

Is

Working

Fine but

I only

Think to

Ask why

Right now

I am

Actually

Sick

A common

Cold

Or some

Other

Shit

That'll

Pass

And I'm

Also on

My period

So the

Red demon

Is here

And so are

My internal

Ones

And none

Are alone

They're a

Whole trio

Sitting on

Their

Thrones

No remorse

No regrets

They let me

Rest

Occasionally

But I

Digress

I'm dead

On the

Inside

Outside

I'm dying

My blood

Is leaving

My body

And my

Mental

State is

Really

Declining

Hardships

For us

All

I guess

It's not a

Test

Just to

Let you

Know

That's just

How life

Is and it

Is horrible

I hate it

I don't feel

Right

Nothing

Feels right

The whole

World is

Just

Existing

Barely doing

That

I hate

Feeling

Like this

But this

Feeling

This eternal

Wrongness

Always

Seems to

Come back

I don't feel

Alive

Nothing

Feels alive

Nothing feels

Alright or

Normal

It's all

Wrong

Wrong

Wrong

Wrong

Wrong

Wrong

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

One more

Look and

You will

See

There are

People

Waiting

For me

I'm trying

To stand

Tall

So that

They don't

Know

I'll stand

Tall for

Forty years

Or so

Can't let

Them see

That I'm

Falling

Down

Can't let

Them see

That I'm

Crawling

Through

Can't let

Them see

That those

People

Waiting

For me

Are

Depending

On me

Expecting

Me to

Do

To do

Um

I don't

Know

I'm standing

Tall but

What is

It that

You want

From me

I'm standing

Tall but

I don't

Understand

Why I have

To plead

My case

I'm trying

To stand

Tall but

I only ever

Seem to

Fall

I'm still

Trying

To stand

Tall but

I really

Need to

Fall

I'm sorry

I can't stand

Tall

I know

It was

Important

To you

I haven't

A clue

As to

What me

Standing

Tall had

To do

With you

But I

Tried to

Stand tall

I really

Tried to

Stand tall

But the

Only thing

To trust

Is the

Fall

I swear

I tried

To stand

Tall but

I fell

Before

It all

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 100 likes!

Yayyyyyy!

-C.H

[awwsomeness]

Is it my words, or just how they're written?

Is it the fact that I rarely use punctuation?

You tell me because I can't tell you.

Nor can I say if my thoughts are ever true.

True to my soul they may be, but not typically things

That are whispered in the trees.

Lovely is what I know them to seem,

But that's only to me and I haven't a clue what anyone else thinks.

My words are scarcely liked and that is okay,

But I still find myself to wonder if it is due to

What they are saying, how they are said, how people read them,

How people understand them, or if it's just how they are placed.

I haven't a clue what to say when my heart is not stated.

My mind will continue. It races and it races.

No need to hurry or feel bad not to read.

I'd simply like to inquire as to why there's such a scarcity.

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

My poems

Are narrow

As I want

To be

Thin and

Skinny

Magnificently

Pretty

I love to

Skip lines

And spaces

Just move

Onto the

Next

Punctuation is

Rarely needed

When I

Consider

My writings

An abstract

Mess

Take it

As you will

And read

It in your

Head

Because

No one

Will truly

Understand

What these

Words mean

To you

Or what

They mean

To me

When said

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

I know

You are

Forever

Asleep

And in a

State of

Eternal

Slumber

But I am

Not

So I will

Continue

To say

Goodnight

Because

Though you

Are gone

You still

Deserve to

Have a

Goodnight

And a

Peaceful

Rest

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

To anyone

Who ever

Thought

I'd be

Somebody:

You were

Wrong

Fuck you

Fuck you

For giving

Me hope

When I

Was right

Not to

Have any

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

I want to

Fall

Down a well

Break my

Neck

And go

To Hell

Hug a tree

And hit

My knees

Scratch my

Eyes

Out of

My head

Sink

Below into

My bed

Blow my

Mind

With a

Gun

Run downhill

Fly above

Like a

Wingless

Bird

Talk to

A wall

Just to

Share

Fall off

A cliff

Into a

Swamp

Remind

Myself

That

Everything

Ends with

A

Womp

Womp

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

HAHAHAHAHA

None of my

Friends

Read my

Words

My deep

Totally

Insightful

Words

On

Here

So I shall

Enjoy the

Freedom

HAHAHAHAHA

I feel very evil

I'm also very

Happy right

Now because

Today is a

Good day

So far

Whenever days

Start like

This

They always

End up

Getting so

Much worse

I really hope

Nothing bad

Happens

But there

Is some

Foreshadowing

That I recall

From yesterday

So we shall

See

I guess

We shall

See

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

Is this

Something

I should

Admit?

I don't know

But I hope

No one

Has a fit.

Anyways,

I guess you

Chose to sit,

Read,

And be hit.

Death is

Something

That I've

Attempted

On numerous

Occasions

By way of

Oral ingestion.

It was not

A fun few

Times

But as you

Can see I

Can still

Drink tea

And sit here

To type my

Mind out.

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

I do

Think

That

I be

A

Person

Fancy

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

Do I want

To know

What you

Do when

You're alone?

Do I need

To care

When you

Finally slow

To show me

Something

That I

Don't even

Know if

I care or

Need to

Know?

That's what

I thought.

You finally

Stopped

But not like

You said

You were

Going to.

At the shop

We fought

But I didn't

Want to

So I lost

So much to

You and you

Didn't know

The cost.

Just give me

A time so

That I can

Know when

You'll find

The start of

The line

That started

When we

Heard the

Chime.

The lime

Slime slid

Away because

You didn't keep

The lid on

And not

Away.

Today we

Might sway

But we'll get

Through it

Because there

Is no other

Way.

Maybe I'll

Finally listen

When you

Say not to

Pay for all

The people

That tricked

Me yesterday.

I'll get on

My knees and

Pray that you'll

Stay and not

Leave me

Again.

You told me

That you tried

But just

Couldn't find

It in you to

Lie or pry

Or die for

Anyone that's

Not your

Responsibility.

My heart is

Going off the

Charts

And I don't

Know when

To start

Dialing the

Police because

I don't want

You to dart

Because without

You I have no

Art.

I hate to be

Apart and I

Know you do

Too so let's

Resolve this

With a spark.

Please I really

Won't survive

A live without

The only one

That was

Keeping a lid

On all the

Thoughts

That I told

To get lost

So now I'm

Spiraling

Without my

Love

Without my

Angel from

The sky up

Above.

I love you

Like you're

A beautiful

Dove.

No matter

How much

You call

Yourself a

Thug.

It's cringe

And a lie.

Please don't

Say goodbye.

I'll be your

Alibi.

I don't want

To cry.

Spending

Another night

With you

Would make

Me want to

Die.

So I'll try

And try.

You didn't

Leave for

A guy,

So I'll fly

Across the

World just

To let you

Let me try.

I love you.

Please don't

Leave.

I can't handle

Another

Goodbye.

I really do

Not want to

Cry.

I didn't know

It was about

You until

I reminded

Myself of

How you

Would try

And of the

Rare times

You showed

Me your

Face when

You cried.

I never judged.

Never lied.

Please come

Back.

I can't handle

Another

Goodbye.

I love you.

Don't make

Me cry.

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

They sit so

Peaceful

In the

Kitchen

While I'm

In the

Bathroom

And slowly

Slipping

Deep into

The bowl

My guts

Are on the

Floor

My food

Has fallen

Forth

I need help

Before

Before

Be-

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

Imagine forcing yourself to throw up and then stressing your body so much that you start to get hives on your face.

Couldn't be me.

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

I listen

And listen

To them

Talk and

Speak

They do

It a lot

And then

They leave

All of them

They just

Leave and

Leave

My dad left

Before I

Was three

I don't

Remember

Seeing

Him leave

But he did

Gone and

I don't

Even

Recall

When or

How

Another man

Like a

Father to me

Stayed with

Us for

Years

No mysteries

Until I

Saw him

Leave

Tried to

Sneak

Away

Tried not

To say

Goodbye

He failed

But he

Still left

What do

You know

There's another

Not close

Like a father

But part

Of the family

No less

He was

Annoying

A little

Younger

Than the

Others

But sometimes

Still fun

Just a year

Ago

He walked

Away

Left people

In tears

After living

With them

For years

Now the

Young ones

Don't remember

His face

Finally, you

May think

And you'd

Be correct

If it was just

Men that

Leave

But alas it

Is not

Though that

Will remain

A story

For a later

Time

This one left

Less than

A year

With us

No competition

He was the

Best of

Them all

He left

To live

Better

And I can't

Be mad

But I will

Forever be

Sad to

Lose such

A friend

At least he's

Not dead

I hope

We have

Arrived

At the

End

Of the

Fatherly

Figures

That have

Left

Hope you

Enjoyed

Because none

Of us did

Oh, wait

I forgot

To mention

One of them

Is dead

-C.H.

[awwsomeness]

Bazinga!