ojovivo
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
YOU ARE THE REASON
Fai_Ryy
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
@theartofmadeline
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shark vs the universe
cherry valley forever
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Discoholic 🪩
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@azbeansontoast
Audre Lorde saying “what woman here is so enamored of her own oppression that she cannot see her heel print upon another woman’s face?” has been my mood for the last few weeks
When your feminism isn’t intersectional
For those of you who don’t know who Audre Lorde is, she is a civil rights and feminist writer. Oh! She also had an affair with a woman. She’s pretty badass and has written one of my favorite quotes.
friendly reminder that the age of technology is coming to an end and a new age of blood magic and dark rituals will take its place
Whup Tee Doo
Jo Ann has had ENOUGH
I’m jo ann
I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.
Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed
If I recall, they did used to be the corresponding months. It was just when Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Augustus came into power, the months July(Julius) and August(Augustus) were added, thus throwing off the numbering of the calender.
Good news, though: whoever fucked it up did in fact get stabbed.
you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don’t know what to do with yourself
i made a pretty girl laugh w/a silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized
this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn’t form full sentences for a solid 10 minutes.
at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night
every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis
this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul leave my body
one time a pretty girl called me “gorgeous” and I was so shocked and flustered that I literally cried right in front of her
today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was heading and she said “oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you’re going” and we both blushed
at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent sentences for at least ten minutes
A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my roommate was starting to get concerned.
There’s a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she’s three chairs away from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at me and I forget how to read music
This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul
Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that I tripped and walked into a bus pole.
honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty that i died
Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together. (She laughed at me, but that’s okay, because she married me two years later.)
This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope y'all stay pure
seduce me with ur history knowledge
vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft
During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.
raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death
during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.
The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people
King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.
Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.
Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes
At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.
When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.
Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.
During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.
People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.
The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.
Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler) nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives
Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”
fun date idea: stab him in the leg
“Time is a human construct. Now feed me!” (via brad79 / tehlaserw0lf)
I love it when I wake up and stretch and something cracks. Makes me feel like a glo-stick
My child: Who became President after Obama?
Me:
Gnomeo and Juliet AU where they’re humans living in 14th century Italy
