baby baba yaga

it/its or she/her. in my 30s.

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[eraserheadadult]

one time in college i was in a creative writing class and this guy was holding up the critique with what i can only describe as like cinemasins dinging another student's writing. and at some point the professor said "the plot is the fork and the prose is the meal. you are critiquing the taste of the fork"

[pansyfemme]

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

[nighttimepatrons]

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

[nighttimepatrons]

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

[blanq]

tumblr glitched and now there’s just a guy in the void

[daughter-of-prospero]

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

[paranormal-taters]

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

[paranormal-taters]

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

[paranormal-taters]

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD

[ratajota]

a simple figure commissioned by a local band

[pr3ydriv3]

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

[livingdead-system-deactivated20]

Why would you hide this in the comments

[toskarin]

[casualfruit]

[briarpatch-kids]

I desperately need y'all to see this scam bot I just got:

[elodieunderglass]

The deepest down of the ocean…….

[aearyn]

we've been watching this show about mysteries and I am So Tired of the narrator saying "it changed their lives...forever" bitch everything you do changes your life forever. something can't change your life and then unchange it. shut up

[sonypraystation]

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

[robcanvas-deactivated20180718]

[sonypraystation]

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

[officialcrow]

they beat jesus with that

[kronkk]

happy good friday

[garmentpurist-deactivated202603]

I love getting older. I’m hotter, more confident, more intelligent. Ageism is a dirty trap. Don’t get caught in it.

[tiktaalic]

Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

[creepymutelilbugger]

thats because its plance. there are others as well