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@babysupernatural
Overcompensating in my cutlery drawer.
(If you are able bodied, this joke is probably not for you.)
Reblogging my own nerdy joke from two years ago because this still applies.Â
OH MY GOD
Amazed that this is still kicking around. Also surprised that my drawer still looks the same.
#manifesting this in my life#both for metaphorical spoons and because i can never find any goddamn literal spoons in this house either Tags via @thebisexualmandalorian
Jurassic Park except they provide proper enrichment for the animals and they therefor donât feel the need to hunt slow, small humans.
âWe stuffed this pumpkin full of live goats for the T. rex watch him try to get them out with his little fingers.â
âTurns out the raptors are cage breakers, so weâve gotten them a series of door handles to manipulate. Little guys just love it.â
"The Rexes are incredibly affectionate pack animals, so we were careful to breed multiples. Be sure to come during spring time to watch them go broody over anything even vaguely egg-shaped." "We put the Raptors through target training and now if they are bored, hungry, or just want a scratch under the chin they go to spot near the bars and ring a little bell for attention." "Imprinting after hatching was so common that we now have keepers under contract to care for the animals well into adulthood to prevent them from pining." "The Gallimimus turned out to be just giant Canada Geese, and so fear nothing. Their keeper regularly has to stop them from trying to attack fences, guests, feeding buckets, and the now traumatised pack of Ceratosaurs in the next paddock."
"We also fired Dr. Henry Wu."
I have questions for OP either about how big they think a pumpkin is or about how small they think goats are.
In a fictional genetic theme park, we play by Roger Rabbit rules. Theyâre however large they need to be to make my joke work.
I respect that. Question withdrawn.
Overcompensating in my cutlery drawer.
(If you are able bodied, this joke is probably not for you.)
Reblogging my own nerdy joke from two years ago because this still applies.Â
OH MY GOD
Amazed that this is still kicking around. Also surprised that my drawer still looks the same.
#manifesting this in my life#both for metaphorical spoons and because i can never find any goddamn literal spoons in this house either Tags via @thebisexualmandalorian
apparently this is a thing in Japan too, and it gets translated as âMundane Halloween.â There are so photos online and theyâre all so good?????
âPerson going to work on a windy day"
âWoman whoâs having her bang cut but the hairdresser is nowhere to be found"
"Zookeeper in charge of the pandas"
Here are two more:
"Not pregnant lady when someone yield seat to her on subway"
And my favorite
"Person on thermal infrared camera"
Might share more tomorrow.
Influencers taking selfies at a gym
Starbucks barista working her ass off on Halloween but gotta keep up that smile
Person who sits on wet paint
Person who's still loading
Boyfriend carrying girlfriend's shopping bags
I love these so much
Finally a halloween tradition I can get behind
It looks so fun
ok can we agree that the WORST feeling is when youâre just sitting around consciously procrastinating and youâre just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and youâre STILL procrastinating and you CANT STOP and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside youâre screaming but outwardly youâre just eating chipsÂ
Just for once Iâd like to tell the gate agents and flight attendants that my folding wheelchair is going into the onboard closet and not have them tell me thereâs âno roomâ. Bitch thatâs a wheelchair closet, not a âyour bagsâ closet. Move your damn bags where they belong.
Ok, so according to my friendly aviation expert, this is a Big Fucking Deal. In fact, if an airline argues with you about putting your wheelchair in the wheelchair closet or even suggests there may not be room, unless there is already another passengerâs wheelchair in that closet, they have violated federal law.
CFR Title 14, Chapter II, Subchapter D, Part 382, Subpart E, Section 382.67, Subsection (e)
âAs a carrier, you must never request or suggest that a passenger not stow his or her wheelchair in the cabin to accommodate other passengers (e.g., informing a passenger that stowing his or her wheelchair in the cabin will require other passengers to be removed from the flight), or for any other non-safety related reason (e.g., that it is easier for the carrier if the wheelchair is stowed in the cargo compartment).â
Source
This is hugely important because it means that if this happens to you, you should report their asses to the DOT. Why? Because these statistics are published every year for every airline, and the airline gets a huge ass fine for every violation. If we want to see change, we need to make airlines literally pay every time they treat us this way.
i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm
They really did just open the gates of hell
Person: I like this thing!
A Tumbl: but thing has Bad Part so you are allowed to like None Of It
Person: But thing has Good Part that I have good memories of and is meaningful to me and helped me through a difficult time and I learned something new/important about myself and the world around me through experiencing it
A Tumbl: but it has Bad Part which makes Good Part not count
Person: But I agree that Bad Part is Bad and that's why I don't like that one Part
A Tumbl: then why do you not have Disapproval of Bad Part tattooed on your face so that I automatically know all of your Proper Denouncements when I meet you
Person: ...Can't I just like thing without introducing myself with a detailed manifesto about my personal endorsement and/or condemnation about every potentially controversial Part of thing to every single person I meet?
Person: Can't we agree that all Thing (and People) are complex and multi-faceted and will always contain both Good Part and Bad Part?
A Tumbl:
A Tumbl: no
A Tumbl: if one Bad Part then all Bad Part forever and not allowed to talk about Good Part ever again
Person: why
A Tumbl: to stop literally all Bad everywhere in the world and time now and the rest of forever
Person: okay good luck with that
Reblog if itâs ok for people to give you $599.99
Please donât hesitate
1 penny below reporting limit for the IRS⊠I see what you did there
(Donât give me $599.99)
Thatâs not the right IRS rule.
$599.99 is the amount below which a business does not need to issue a 1099 to a contractor who provides business services. The contractor still needs to report the income on their taxes.
The correct number for the IRS rule for money that is gifted rather than received in a business transaction is $13999.99âmore than that, and the recipient has to pay tax on the gift and report it to the IRS. Less than that, and thereâs no taxation or reporting requirement.
If weâre choosing amounts on the basis of IRS limits, give these people $13,999.99.Â
Go. Do it.
Reblog if itâs ok for people to give you $13,999.99
Aside from the occasional football mascot, I donât think Iâve ever seen a furry irl
Incorrect, youâve never seen a FURSUIT irl. Furries are all around us hiding in plain sight.
u scaring me
Not that it matter but don't these people realize that kids who are half white can come out looking completely like their white parents. Like my grandpa is an Afro- Latino and my mom looks completely like her mother whose mostly white. I don't understand why race mixing matters anyway đ€·đ»ââïžpeople love who they love.
Because theyâre stupid
My favorite examples of how crazy genetics can be is with twinsÂ
I love genetics. Biology is a trip
This is always so cool.
From imdb: âDuring the filming of some scenes for The Princess Bride, the weather became markedly cold for Robin Wright Penn. Andre the Giant helped her by placing one of his hands over her head; his hands were so large that one would entirely cover the top of her head, keeping her warm.â
comic by Box Brown :: via flickr.com
This is so sweet how can I NOT reblog this.Â
Dâaaawwww.
All of the behind the scenes stories about Andre the Giant were adorable like this, Apparently Wallace Shawn is deathly afraid of heights, so he was freaking out while they were doing the scene scaling the cliff and Andre was like âit is okay, Iâll keep you safe.â thereâs a behind the scenes thing on the DVD and everyone is choked up and misty eyed when they talk about working with him.
Andre the Giant was a radiant human being.
Iâm so glad he gets to go down in history as everyones favorite giant. What a legacy!
âA Centaur in Disguiseâ by Michelle Tolo
This is the most precious Centaur art Iâve ever seen.
What really makes it is the fact that the dude and the horse are both going âsomething here ainât rightâŠâ
And I could see any hard core horse riding enthusiast going âWhat are you doing!? Â Thatâs not how you ride!â
I guess heâs trying to blend in and not be the
centaur of attention
UMM Hugh had me scared there for a second I was about to find out who I need to beat for making him sad
Okay maybe Iâm being a little dramatic but Iâm honestly kind of offended at the lack of notes this has? Hugh CLEARLY put a lot of thought and effort into this joke, and you can tell that heâs proud of it he smiles and even chuckles at his joke. Is it so hard for yâall to show appreciation for a good man? Heâs trying to be funny is Wolverine himself not good enough for you guys? God
That satisfied dad laugh at the end
that was such a DAD joke
