How lucky we are to be alive right now.

Ai. He/they, Opera, chemistry, math, memes. That's basically all I do. Weirdly specialized in math, music, and now Bioinformatics. From Florida to NYC. Good luck finding meaning in anything here, I sure can't.

[segamascott]

[my-dailydreams]

[merosmenagerie]

What do you mean you hatched an egg you bought at the SUPER MARKET

Ohohoho

So there’s this company in the UK, right. They brand themselves on producing fancy free range eggs and as part of that they have breed information written on the carton.

I did some snooping and found that every miracle news story of a supermarket egg hatching in the UK traced back to duck eggs, specifically the Braddock White duck eggs produced by this one company for the supermarket Waitrose.

And one day my mum brings them home and says “I bought these to eat but aren’t they the ones that hatch?”

And it’s spring and I’m hatching a ton this year so in they went.

On candling we had three fertile eggs! That’s a fertility of 50% - the same as shipped eggs from a breeder!

Hatch day comes and we get 2 ducklings, Curie and Becquerel. Sadly, Curie contracts duck septicaemia from an infected navel and doesn’t make it, but Becquerel is a healthy bird and growing like a weed.

I had put 4 breeder eggs in a week after them in case just one hatched, so Becque now has two Khaki Campbell cross friends called Tsuki and Hoshi so she isn’t lonely.

And as of today’s 7am Quacking - Becque is a female! Which means she’s capable of laying eggs and therefore I have pirated a duck.

[steprhia]

You wouldn’t download a duck

[the-big-mood]

Me on my way to work:

[dailycatsblog]

[queer-as-city-folk]

Hi, former train nerd here, all train Conductors are willing to accept sufficiently cute cat pictures as a ticket

[valtsv]

i need to [remembers suicide is a permanent solution to temporary states of intolerable existence] change my art style

[valtsv]

i need to create something so beautiful that i'm forgiven for everything

[notbecauseofvictories]

A customer contacted our team with questions, and then finished their email with: "I am daunted by the complexities and unknowns." I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

[cameoappearance]

Reblog if you are daunted by the complexities and unknowns

[iwilleatyourenglish]

hey so last night i was looking for charming teddy bears, and what should have been a just and noble quest devolved into a horrible discovery:

for around 200 big ones, you can purchase a teddy bear with the body of a man and the eyes of a creature that knows it should not exist

[iwilleatyourenglish]

despite the fact it's dressed like the boring guy you avoid at office christmas parties in every ad, it does not, in fact, arrive at your home khaki'd up and ready to go.

he's 5'7" so i hope you just have clothes for an adult man just laying around. and yes, his name is Puffy.

anyways the naked photos further cement his horrid homunculus status.

[iwilleatyourenglish]

all of the information provided about this thing make it seem like its creators only have a passing understanding of human beings.

i mean like yeah. that is true. teddy bears are usually shaped like bears and this one certainly is not.

kill the ones you love. puffy is enough.

puffy is enough.

[iwilleatyourenglish]

hey! don't be scared, okay?

puffy is a milky brown!

[iwilleatyourenglish]

sorry i can't believe i forgot the most ominous thing on the site

[beefjerkybuffoon]

I once tried to take a screenshot of a dynamaxed wooper exploding and ended up with this declaration of what we truly are

[pirateprincessjess]

I can’t stop thinking about this, so I drew it.

[prokopetz]

Concept: a mermaid who collects human artifacts, but, like, exclusively objects that humans have dramatically cast into the sea in moments of high emotion, catharsis, or personal revelation. Each item is carefully mounted above a little index card that outlines the circumstances of its hurling in terse, clinical prose.

[burnt-kloverfield]

How many outdated cellphones does she have from businessmen who realize that Family is more important?

[prokopetz]

Fewer than you’d think. For a variety of fascinating demographic and cultural reasons, importance-of-family cell phones are considerably more likely to be hurled into lakes than oceans. She’s co-authored a paper on the subject that’s due to be published next month.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I hope it’s been pier reviewed

[lakevida]

nobody fuck with me i’m hydrated

[fortooate]

[orcboxer]

you enter the public restroom. I'm standing by the front sink with my hands folded in front of me and a pile of unconscious (?) guys at my feet. a flushing sound, a stall door opens and a new guy emerges, passing all five pristine ceramic washbowls with their fully loaded soap dispensers on his way to the exit, but just before he reaches the door I grab him by the nape and slam his head into the sink. he joins the comatose Pisshands Platoon on the floor. I return to my position and my eyes meet yours. you must conduct yourself cautiously here.

[machine-unlearning]

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

[machine-unlearning]

He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”

[ploinkplonk]

[foreskinniest]

Not the town's name

[the-absolute-worst]

Then how do you explain this?

[foreskinniest]

That's the town name

[kleefkruid]

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

[humandisastersquad]

[kinsey-the-saiyan-deactivated20]

I too am having a bad time at the conference

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you too are having a bad time at the conference

[alexaloraetheris]

It's them. My Dysfunctioning Executives.

[giraffesonparade]

I am drunk and on my way home walked past this truck that had pictures of fish on it and said ‘meat without feet’ I laughed so hardr

[giraffesonparade]

MEAT WITHOUT FEET

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: a a a a at t tc tat a ct t a a ‘at tt t’ ag a AT TT T

Closest match: Tethysbaena scabra genome assembly, chromosome: 15

(image source)

[hellsitegenetics]

[neenarchive]

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives