Jess

.

[tofupixel]

goots

[witchcreatures]

These goots need some boots

[tofupixel]

boots

[nihilisticlinguistics]

adulthood notes:

The Rodeo Rule: you only have to do it for the first time once.

The Rohan Rule: if you are at a social function full of new people and you want to be liked, find someone doing important work like setup or food prep and offer to help.

The Tutorial Mode Rule: to navigate an unfamiliar situation where you fear you will mess up an interaction, preface the interaction by mentioning that you've never done this before, and let them know if you have a specific concern or question.

The Rocket Science Rule: most new things you want to try seem very complicated but are simple when taken step by step.

The [X] Will Remember That Rule: if you need to make small talk with the same person on a regular basis, try to save one fact or current event in their life from a given conversation and bring it up next time you talk.

The Cool Binder Rule: by wearing clothes and accessories that are to your taste instead of trying to blend in, people will be more likely to compliment you and show interest in you as a person.

[maruposting]

[startledoctopus]

medicine! despite the obstacles, we continue to advance and treat/cure more diseases than ever before. while i wish advertising for GLP1s would die with fire, they truly revolutionized care for people with Type II diabetes. last year they came out with a treatment for Huntington's disease that slows progression significantly (it was previously untreatable). a drug being tested for Alzheimers might be able to regrow teeth??? more and more surgeries are able to be done laproscopically, reducing recovery time significantly (tubal ligation for example). PCOS has been renamed and redefined to Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome to more accurately reflect the main symptoms (lots of people don't have cysts and thus got dismissed by doctors), and they have a blood test for it now.

frogs! thanks to tumblr's own @markscherz and others, we keep finding new frog species!

treatment for cat kidneys! it's not widely available yet as they complete testing but Japanese researcher Toru Miyazaki has created an injection that can protect cat kidneys, which could let cats that would otherwise die of kidney complications live twice as long. which is a lot of cats, sadly.

[thememedaddy]

[void0m]

ms paint study from 2021

[diospore]

[magical-awesome-kid]

I’m sorry MS PAINT????

[adultlikers]

[porksweats]

e me a mail

[fortooate]

make the attachment a pic of a snail

[jumpingjacktrash]

give me two gifs

of critters in clover

[nuclearcarrots]

then photoshop them on the CLIIIIIIIFFS OF DOVER

[laurasinele]

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

[lazer-t]

A pigeon crosses your dash

[goldenleopard34335]

@murderofsomeone

[turing-tested]

[zizibutik]

if a terf even looks at this they will die in seven days just to clarify

[liberalsarecool]

Cosign.

[zoesupreme]

we're for real gonna be telling stories about this man for centuries

[zoesupreme]

yall I feel like I'm floating right now

[segamascott]

[damnhotpocket]

Gema.piano on instagram

Why are all music teachers like this 😭😭😭

[communeist]

THEY ARE

[crematedequally]

when i was 8 i had a very intimidating russian woman as a music teacher- she was both my opera instructor and piano teacher. about a month into piano, she sat me down and said to my mother and i "this child- very beautiful voice, good for singing. i will not allow this child to continue piano. god did not want this child to play an instrument. he told me this in dreams. that is all."

my mom had it written down on a slip so we could remember the exact words because it was so funny. i HATED playing piano and i was definitely not good at it (i did end up having a good 5 years of opera training and ended up being a pretty accomplished choir singer though) and the idea of god sending my incredibly severe and serious russian piano teacher a dream begging her to stop teaching me piano was probably the funniest way it could have gone.

[victusinveritas]

God, can you imagine someone from Finland (or wherever) heading to a Midwestern state fair and eating every variety of fried thing imaginable?

[in-the-wrong-direction]

NGL, USA getting stoked for the rest of the world experiencing 'murica doesn't excite me. We've got 'murica at home. They've been exporting it for years. (Edinburgh was full of wannabe Scottish cowboys last weekend because someone called Zach Bryan was playing Murrayfield.)

However! I love the idea of the rest of the world happening to the USA. Case in point:

A Bostonian friend even shared that the governor of Massachusetts said something like, "I think I may need to call up to Maine or New Hampshire for more alcohol."

And that was before Scotland won their opening game. 🤣

[zangoonse]

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[abalidoth]

6. If x and y are my daughters, then there exists a set that has x and y as elements.

7. You can fold my daughter through any two points.

8. I have exactly one daughter parallel to a given line passing through a given point.

[inthefallofasparrow]

9. If my daughter is hung on the wall in the first act, then in the following one she must be fired. Otherwise don't put her there.

10. When two or more daughters are offered for a phenomenon, the simplest daughter is preferable.

11. Any sufficiently advanced daughter is indistinguishable from magic.

12. Without a clear indicator of intent, it is utterly impossible to parody my daughter without someone mistaking it for the genuine article.

13. My daughter is nine-tenths of the law.

[cosmicswansong]

14. it is forbidden for supernatural agencies to be employed against my daughter

15. it is forbidden for unknown drugs or complex scientific devices to be used against my daughter

16. it is forbidden for my daughter to be the detective

17. it is forbidden for my daughter to be resolved with clues that are not presented

[heavensenthousepet]

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[melonisopod]

[catchymemes]