Finally made a personal blog

[bridgeoverstrawberryfields]

How I wish more people understood this.

[yourhealingjournal]

you can always start again. clean up your socials, make new playlists, donate clothes you no longer wear. try out a new recipe, move to a new city and make new friends, pick up new hobbies you never thought of before. there is no limit to how many times you can press the reset button. it's okay to change and start over. you don't need anyone's permission to do it.

[whyareyoulikethisbro]

BPD is literally social parasite disease. It's a mental illness that makes you unbearable to be around if you dont manage it very carefully. For normal people after your 10th relationship with someone with BPD you start to realize unless they're one of the rare few that puts in the effort not to be toxic, you do get sick of them and abandon them because they just aren't worth it. Considering you're whining about being called a social parasite on a tumblr post it's clear which group youre in

Yea didn't read past the first line, as someone recovering from BPD I know more than you. Also, its a cluster c personality disorder not a mental illness dumbass. Since you hiding and coming to my inbox to insult me like a lil bitch are you sure you dont have BPD? I wish you well in your recovery.

[whyareyoulikethisbro]

Lmao are you going to every bpd blog that didn't speak negatively about BPD? How pathetic. Just to warn you, Im not as nice as the other blogs.

[flowercrown-bard]

A little non-binary dragon ^^

(lesbian dragon)

(ace dragon)

(sea dragon that's vaguely in the colours of the gay pride flag)

[flowercrown-bard]

A little bi dragon ^^

(aro dragon)

(non binary dragon)

(lesbian dragon)

(ace dragon)

(sea dragon that’s vaguely in the colours of the gay pride flag)

[chandra-telescope]

hope is a skill

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

[chandra-telescope]

favourite additions

[chandra-telescope]

[bumblebeerror]

Hard truth that I’ve had to confront that I’m honestly not proud of:

Constantly voicing your abandonment issues lead to more people abandoning you.

I do not mean in Serious Conversations about what you need in a relationship or anything like that - I mean when your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days and you feel like your world is crumbling, that is not the time to talk about them.

I understand the fear that someone will decide they are done with you. I live that fear every single day, but here’s the rub.

If you tell people “you’ll probably leave me anyway” or similar things every time you feel that fear, people will leave you.

Not because they don’t want to be your friend, your partner, your roommate, whatever. Not because you aren’t deserving of friends (you are), but because it is exhausting to be constantly told by someone you like/love to go away.

Because that is how it feels on the other end. I don’t say this to make it worse, or to make you feel like you’re at fault. Your brain is hurting you, and it’s okay to feel things. But if you find that it’s hard to keep people around you, then you need to hear that outside of things like conversations about boundaries and triggers and such, it would be to your benefit to change your language.

Instead of telling people “you probably don’t like me”, try asking. “You like me? It’s much easier for them to reassure you when you don’t start with a negative, because it puts your brain in a different mindset, one that finds it easier to believe their response.

Sit with your issues. Parent them. And when they’re done screaming, hold their little hands and dry their little faces and try to remember that you are worth being loved. I won’t say it’s easy, because it’s really fucking not. I won’t say you’ll get it the first time, or that you’ll never fuck up. I still do. But you deserve friends and partners and love, it’s just that so do they.

[aqueerkettleofish]

Another thing about this is that you are waving a red flag.

Because here's the thing.

When your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days, and you talk about how that hurt you? You've just created a situation where you've placed the onus of your emotions on your friend, who did nothing wrong. Now your friend has to worry about what other perfectly reasonable activities are going to get them accused of hurting you, which is what you were doing whether you meant to or not.

And here's the other thing.

When you tell someone "everyone always leaves me", they wonder why. And it's very possible that they've dealt with someone who complained about this, then proceeded to demonstrate why. There is a particular kind of social parasite that will completely use up their friend group, then move on to new friends while shit-talking how they were treated by the last friend group.

[boredliondisorder]

This is true and it’s good advice, but I really also wish people would figure out this is a symptom of BPD. 

BPD is one of those “bad” mental illnesses that a lot of people neglect to learn about because the people who have it create self-fulfilling delusions. Those who say “I think you’ll leave me” are showing symptoms of it, because BPD is 100% about fear of abandonment. There are ways to help your friends with BPD deal with this if you want to, but you have to take the steps to learn.

Someone in the middle of a BPD crisis will not be able to tell you “I’m experiencing symptoms of BPD. Please be patient with me.” They often won’t even be able to say “I need reassurance.” When I have symptoms, I am a different person and I do not have the capacity to think logically. This is not manipulation. This is a TRUE delusional belief as of the time they’re saying it. Learning how to recognize the symptoms and reassure your friends is important and there are several ways you can bring this person out of crisis if you want to. If you don’t--and this is important--do not extend the hand of friendship to that person. 

If you already have, then tell them straight up, “I cannot handle your mental illness and need to stop talking to you.” This is kinder than ghosting them. If you think you’re being too much of an asshole by saying this, know that you’re actually giving them an immediate answer and allowing them to start the recovery process, rather than wondering for a month, or two months, or a year. They’re going to be upset, but you’re planning on doing this anyway. Just get it over with.

The abandonment cycle for someone with BPD is not only painful, but it’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. The response I usually get to this is “But it’s not my responsibility.” And you’re right. It’s not. If you don’t want to put in the effort for someone with a very severe mental illness with delusions, then don’t be friends with that person.

If you value the friendship and you want to remain friends with this person, this is important to learn: You are going to see symptoms. It’s not “if.” It’s “when.” So buy a book about BPD and make an effort to learn about it, and how to help your friend down from their crises. BPD will not disappear because your friendship is somehow more magical or different than all the other friendships this person has had. Don’t wait for a crisis, because you won’t be able to discuss boundaries and help methods when your friend is having a crisis. They won’t have the capacity to do so.

I’m always up front with my diagnosis so people can determine if a friendship with someone with a severe mental illness is something they can handle. I find that most people with BPD are up front with their diagnoses. Please don’t dismiss these claims. I hear “but you don’t seem like that kind of person” a lot. Evaluate and make a decision. Again: Don’t wait for a crisis.

Additionally, as someone who’s been treated for BPD and needed reassurance fairly often... I used to post asking people for reassurance, and this also does not work. I was labeled as attention-seeking and this was used against me to great effect. 

[talesfromtreatment]

So I know how you feel about euthanasia in shelters, but what about pets? Both of the cats that I've owned that have died during my lifetime died at home after a few days of refusing food. We might have gotten a traveling vet to euthanize them if they seemed to be in a lot of pain, but we wanted them to live out the rest of their lives in a place that they were familiar with, with the family that they loved.

The one that died the most recently, about a month ago, had some sort of cancer, we think. The vet we brought her to wasn't exactly sure what it was, but said that she wouldn't live longer than a couple of months after that visit. She stopped purring when we pet her maybe a week or so before she died, and stopped eating much of anything, and I wonder whether we should have gotten her euthanized. I hope that our bias of wanting to stay by her side as long as possible didn't put her through more suffering than what was necessary, but I didn't want her last moments to be stressful...

You are, unfortunately, not going to like my answer.

Keep reading

[pangur-and-grim]

I felt an enormous amount of guilt euthanizing my former rabbit Wheat Thick, because I did it before the worst symptoms of her fatal conditions set in. the opioids were effective, and she was still active with a good appetite when she died, and quite aggressive about running up to us to badger for pets!

my guilt ended after I received her cleaned skeleton, and saw the damage done to the bones of her face. she had a foreign object lodged in her naval cavity that would have moved deeper until it suffocated her, and in the interim the infection had been attacking the sorounding area and turning the thinner edges of her skull to lace.

even when you think you’re euthanizing too early, you’re probably underestimating how bad the animal is actually feeling because (especially in stoic animals like rabbits and birds) hiding pain is so instinctual.

euthanasia is something that hurts the owner while delivering a peaceful end to the pet, and it’s a pain we should be willing to bear for them.

[brennaauragoldwing]

Agreed, as long as the owner sticks around. I know it’s hard to watch for the owner, but I’ve heard a lot from our vet about how sometimes they’ll refuse to go with their pet and the animal (usually dogs in this case) end up stressed and scared because “why isn’t mom/dad coming, who are you people”

If you want it to be peaceful for your pet you can’t just abandon them because YOU don’t feel like it

[talesfromtreatment]

No to sticking around.

I really hate that guilt tripping. I know you are not intending that, but that is what it is.

An animal is the same level of stressed/scared when being taken into treatment for a vaccine or nail trim or blood draw as they are for euthanasia. Most places also use sedatives that include anxiolytic properties before the actual euthanasia.

If you are distraught that is going to be *far* more stressful for the pet than going back with strangers. If you can’t handle being there, that is okay. The only thing that matters is that you are making a decision in the best interest of your pet. Calm strangers is far less stressful than their parent having a breakdown in the room with them.

Not a single vet I have worked with in the last 20 years (some 25 or so different ones) has ever made mention of this. And at least since that facebook post came out, the vets I’ve worked with were all completely pissed about it and the way it guilted owners who couldn’t be present for their own mental health.

[bargainbinbisexual]

Thank you for saying this. Im going to try my hardest to be there when the time comes but if I cant manage it I'd rather not my cats last moments be filled with me sobbing uncontrollably, they always get scared when I cry. I always felt incredibly guilty that I thought I couldnt manage it.

[akindplace]

Emma

[alder-bos]

Stitch Witch Correspondences

Based on my interests in sewing from my other blog @tolkien-fantasy. I would also like to note that I made this while listening to my Howl’s Moving Castle audiobook lmao

Fabrics

Canvas - Creativity, New Beginnings, Potential, Possibilities

Cashmere - Comfort, Warmth, Luxury

Chiffon - Femininity, Delicacy, Vulnerability, Elegance

Cotton - Simplicity, Harvest, Protection, Rain, Good Luck

Denim - Ruggedness, Adventure, Durability, Hard Work, Independence, Rebellion

Felt - Protection, Good Luck, Wealth (White Felt), Sacrifice, Strength

Flannel - Comfort, Relaxation, Warmth, Winter, Adventure

Flax - Weakness of Man, Prosperity, Divine Gifts, Sacred to Hulda

Gauze - Uncertainty in Wealth, Healing

Hemp - Travel, Burial, Opening Gates and Doors, Moving on, Vision, Enlightenment, Sacred to Bast

Lace - Sacredness, Rite of passage, Femininity, Privilege, Sensuality, Sexuality, Duality

Lamé - Luxury, Wealth, Royalty, Sun and Moon

Leather - Protection, Covering, Animals, Instinct, Self-discovery, Independence

Linen - Righteousness and Purity, Rest, Elegance, Luxury, Sophistication, Light, Purity, Wealth, Does not cause sweat

Satin - Lustrous, Sensual, Shine, Love

Silk - Wealth, Luxury, Softness, Vulnerability, Prestige, Transformation, Magical Insulation

Velvet - Distinction, Honor, Sensuality, Emotions, Royalty, Leadership

Viole - Secrets, Unveiling, Hidden Things, Secrets, Weddings

Wool - Hope, Renewal, Spring, Women’s Crafts and Lives, Empowerment, Durability, Comfort, Warmth

~~~

Fabrics for your Astrology Sign

Aries: Lamb’s Wool

Taurus: Leather

Gemini: Gauze, Chiffon, Viole

Cancer: Flannel

Leo: Lamé, Brocade, Velvet

Virgo: Cotton, Canvas, Chintz Libra: Silk, Satin

Scorpio: Snakeskin

Sagittarius: Spandex, Lycra Capricorn: Mohair, Cashmere, Hemp

Aquarius: Feathers, Metallic Fabrics

Pisces: Rayon, Nylon, Watermarked Taffeta

~~~

Elements and Fabric Correspondences

Earth - Leather, Wool, Cotton, Felt

Fire - Satin, Lace, Velvet

Water - Silk, Satin, Taffeta

Air - Chiffon, Voile, Gauze

Spirit - Hemp, Linen, Felt

~~~

Color Correspondences

Red

Element: Fire

Planet/Zodiac: Aries, Scorpio, Mars, influencing Saturn

Chakra: Root

Body Parts: Bones, Teeth, Nails, Colon, Prostate, Rectum, Blood, etc...

Magic: Passion, Fire, Power, Joy, Energy, Health, Motivation, Leadership, Self-Esteem, Combat, etc...

Pink

Element: Fire

Planet/Zodiac: Sun, Leo, Sagittarius

Chakra: Sacral

Body Parts: Muscles, Pelvis, Kidneys, Uterus, Bladder, Lymph, Sperm, Adrenalin, Digestion, etc...

Magic: Relieving Depression, Self-Love, Friendship, Calming, Romance, Harmony, Passion, Physical Energy, Sex, Action, Surgery, Animals, Gardening, New Beginnings, Morality, Emotions, Femininity, Homosexuality, Compassion, Infants, etc…

Orange

Element: Fire / Air

Planet/Zodiac: Leo, Gemini, Taurus, Sagittarius, Mercury, Mars, etc...

Chakra: Sacral

Body Parts: Pelvis, Kidneys, Uterus, Bladder, Lymph, Sperm, Adrenalin, Digestion, etc...

Magic: Relieving Depression, Abandonment, Opportunities, Happiness, Alertness, Wealth, Kindness, Sealing a Spell, Harvest, Strength, Dominance

Yellow

Element: Air

Planet/Zodiac: Mercury, Taurus, Libra

Chakra: Solar-Plexus

Body Parts: Lower Back, Spine, Gallbladder, Pancreas, Liver, Spleen, Digestion, etc…

Magic: Healing, Friendship, Productivity, Stopping Negative Thinking, Creativity, Innovation, Prosperity, Self-Esteem, Beauty, Life, Humility, Intellect, etc…

Green

Element: Earth

Planet/Zodiac: Venus, Mercury, Aquarius, Cancer

Chakra: Heart

Body Parts: Upper Back, Spine, Shoulders, Breasts, Heart, Lungs, Respiratory System, Circulatory System, etc...

Magic: Love, Trust, Fae, Healing, Change, New Beginnings, Prosperity, Money / Career, Hope, Immortality / Rebirth, Nature Magic, Fertility, Luck, Courage, Peace, Relationships, Beauty, Love, Art, Grace, Luxury, Marriage, Decorating, Gifts, etc…

Blue

Element: Water

Planet/Zodiac: Jupiter, Moon, Virgo, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces

Chakra: Throat

Body Parts: Neck, Throat, Thyroid, Lungs, Ears, Mind, etc...

Magic: Wisdom, Wealth, Joy, Opportunity, Patience, Peace, Truth, Loyalty, Meditation, Happiness, the Ocean, Calming, Travel, Education, Politics, Social Standing, Luck, Growth, Sports, Careers, Studying, Reading, etc…

Purple

Element: Water

Planet/Zodiac: Mercury, Saturn, Jupiter, Capricorn, Gemini, Sagittarius

Chakra: Third Eye

Body Parts: Face, Nervous System, Bones, Eyes, Ears, Pituitary Gland, etc...

Magic: Clairvoyance, Relief of Emotional Pain, Protection, Pride, Spirituality, Wisdom, Psychic Power, Meditation, Justice, Forgiveness, Humility, Memory, Secrets, Intelligence, Communication, Education, Writing, Progress, etc…

White

Element: Spirit, Air

Planet/Zodiac: Moon, Pisces

Chakra: Crown

Body Parts: Brain, Pineal Gland, Semen, etc...

Magic: Protection, Transformation, Enlightenment, Spiritual Connection, Being Outgoing, Life, Freedom, Health, Initiation, etc…

Black

Element: Earth

Planet/Zodiac: Saturn

Body Parts: Teeth, Bones

Magic: Balance (w/ White), Divination, Beginning, Rebirth, Patience, Absorbing Energies, Binding, Stability, Wealth, Protection, Karma, Death, Manifestation, Law, Challenge, Sacrifice, Justice, Discoveries, etc…

Brown

Element: Earth

Planet/Zodiac: Scorpio, Capricorn

Body Parts: Bones, Sexual Organs, Teeth, the Liver

Magic: Security, Friendship, Animals, Nature, Generosity, New Beginnings, Endurance, Grounding, Strength, Good Decision Making, Concentration, Telepathy, Finding Lost Things, etc…

~~~

Stitch Correspondences

Many of these are my own interpretation, and I would like to note that I actually researched what these stitches are used for to make these correspondences. Hope you don’t mind

Machine Stitches

Lockstitch - Community, Keeping things together, Curses

Chain Stitch - Healing, Rescue, Water, Cleansing

ZigZag Stitch - Independence, Strength, Adaptability

Satin Stitch - Hidden Things, Secrets, Love, Creativity, Manifestation

Overlock Stitch - Decoration, Luxury, Independence, Wealth

~

Sewing

Running Stitch - Strength, Simplicity, Independence, Learning

Baste Stitch - Community, Warmth, Comfort, Love, Warding, Protection

Back Stitch - Language, Communication, Creativity, Detail-oriented, Love

Ladder Stitch - Healing, Caring, Hidden Things, Secrets, Curses

Catch Stitch - Healing, Strength, Adaptability, Hidden Things, Simplicity

Whip Stitch - Keeping things together, Love, Independence, Family

Blanket Stitch - Strength, Reinforcement, Luxury, Warding

Buttonhole Stitch - Vulnerability, Strength, Healing

Embroidery Stitch - Creativity, Love, Representation

Overcast Stitch - Strength, Secrets, Closing yourself off from others, Self-reflection

Pad Stitch - Firmness, Aloofness, Secrets, Self-reflection, Strength

~

Crochet (Inspired by @therestlesswitch)

Chain Stitch - New Beginnings, Manifestation

Slip Stitch - Glamours, Energy Work

Single Crochet - Simplicity, Protection, Nurturing, Relationships

Half Double Crochet - Warmth, Protection, Manifestation

Double Crochet - Freedom, Energy Work, Letting go

Treble - Spontaneity, Luck, Letting go

Front post stitches - Bringing in Energy, Glamours, New Beginnings

Back post stitches - Drawing attention away from yourself, Secrets, Invisibility, Protection, Strengthening Relationships

Stitches 'Together’ - Community, Bringing an end to things

Spike Stitch / Long Stitch - Energy work, Reaching out, Divination, Astral Work, Curses

Moss Stitch - Warding, Protection, Warmth

Granny Stitch - Family, Familiarity, Comfort, Manifestation

Ripple / Wave Stitch - Sea Magic, Adaptability, Energy Work, Calming

Shell Stitch - Vulnerability, Manifestation, Sea Magic, Adaptability

Picot - Good Luck, Trust, Truth and Certainty, Curses

Crab Stitch - Strength, Banishing, Burning Bridges, Past Life Work, Curses

Corner to Corner - Order, Logic, Sigils

Puff Stitch - Self Love, Slowing down

Popcorn Stitch - Bringing fun into your life, Community

Crocodile Stitch - Protection, Psychic Abilities, Cloaking/Camouflage Spells, Bringing softness into your life

Broomstick Lace - Cleansing, Banishing, Warding

Serpentine Stitch - Entangling Lives, Matchmaking, Perseverance, Curses

~~~

Garment Correspondences

Sweater - Warmth, Comfort, Secrets, Cleansing

Dress - Femininity, Elegance, Glamours, Strength, Curses

Skirt - Youth, Simplicity, Independence, Elegance, Glamours

Trousers - Adventure, Sports and Activity, Energy Work

Shirt - Grounding, Independence, Communication, Meaning

Coat / Jacket - Warmth, Sophistication, Communication, Independence, Secrets

Socks - Warmth, Comfort, Protection

Bra - Sensuality, Lust, Love, Protection

Swimsuit - Sea/Water Magic, Curses, Adventure, Adaptability

Scarf - Warmth, Comfort, Protection, Warding

Hat - Manifestation, Communication, Protection, Love

Gloves - Warmth, Protection, Safety, Healing

Boots - Safety, Protection, Strength

Shoes - Adventure, Everyday Life, Comfort, Communication, Travel

Pockets - Secrets, Autonomy, Independence, Hidden Things, Finding lost things

~~

Sources:

- https://marjolijnmakes.com/writings/essays/the-magic-of-fabrics/

- https://therestlesswitch.tumblr.com/post/169640791866/so-as-most-of-you-probably-know-im-a-crochet

[akindplace]

Laura K Linke

[bargainbinbisexual]

Its getting to the point where I dont want to make friends with anyone that doesnt have BPD because at least they understand how much pain this fucking is

[feminismandmedia]

[clockwork-eden]

I’m sure it happens but I’ve worked in every department over 5 years at this hospital and I have not met one nurse who’s ever done this it is not as big of a thing as this meme makes it seem. You cannot be a nurse and get butt hurt by something as simple as someone’s religion. We literally get beat and sexually harassed/molested as a daily part of the job. We have to take care of nazis without telling them they’re pieces of shit. There are just literally so many more things to get one’s panties in a bunch in healthcare and this isnt it. Ty.

[bargainbinbisexual]

"I havent seen it so it doesnt happen" Is such a stupid fucking take. I have a nurse that is anti vax. I have had mental health services that are Christian base and you best believe they tried to push prayer on me. Just because its not around you does not mean it doesnt happen refulary and I'm so sick of this shit. Listen to patients. Stop assuming were a bunch of liars then get mad when we dont trust you. If you are not what this meme is talking about dont get offended by it but dont try to fuckign say it doesnt happen when you have a lot of people saying it does. you're like the people who deny the rampant anti lgbt shit in the system and how doctors dont listen to women.

[dog-teeth]

[pathologising]

stopp omg why are primary care doctors like "girl theres nothing wrong with you" and then you convince them to write the referral and you finally see a specialist and the specialist is like "goddamn you got syndrome"

[pathologising]

you could be bleeding out on the floor and a primary care physician will come along and be like "its just your anxiety"

[borderlineprettymuchdying]

BPD: hold my beer

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

when you relapse it doesn’t mean you’re back to square one. you’re still the person you were when you felt recovered. recovery isn’t a straight line, it’s more like up and downs but overall the trend is going up. you may feel worse than ever but I know in the grand scheme of things you’re doing so well. i know you’re numb but I know that you can be happy again and it’s ok to feel everything at once and let emotions out healthily. through personal experience it’s better to feel something rather than nothing. although you can take control of some things, like distance yourself from emotionally draining people, you already have what u need to be happy. make sure you’re being kind and patient to yourself and don’t feel bad for doing what’s right for yourself. find joy in little things and remind yourself that you are stronger than depression because you are! although it doesn’t feel like it. don’t forget that you’re not alone and I trust that things will get better for you. I believe in you and I love you! stay strong because I know you can get through this.