I’d Rather Be Anywhere But Alive

I am Lee, whisperer of the trees. Keep cutting them down and I’ll break your fucking knees

[random-chaos-thoughts]

[kirkspocks]

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

[chromalogue]

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

[baegishjalmur]

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

[systlin]

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

[retro-minty]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ay @systlin hmu

[bold-sartorial-statement]

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

[andersonsallpurpose]

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

[svampurinn]

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

[books-and-candy-ples]

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

[rembrandtswife]

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

[deeranger]

And in Danish because why not:

Solen skinnede, skøn og gylden

På dagen for Tors fødsel

På asfalten ved Taco Bell

Dér lå Loke

“LEV MERE (LIVE MAS)”

*Snorts*

[marvel-lous-things]

When Thor born

He hair shine brite

A very very

Magical site

But then I see

A bab from hell

I pik up loki

From taco bell

[scarlet-silverweaver]

the rosetta stone of shitposting

[roguehoneybadger]

@incorrectnorse-quotes

[incorrectnorse-quotes]

Now THIS is the best post on this hellsite

[systlin]

j

[secret-sapphics]

I don't know what it is with the lesbian community and being eerily attracted to feminine monstresses that straight men always feared,,

Like, we get told "sirens will drag your body to the sea with their songs" or "those fae folk will steal you away and you'll never be seen again" or "the vampires will drain your blood and steal your soul"

and we're all like "pfft, you're not cheaping me out of my goth gf that easily"

[north-of-annwn]

[bastardanddead]

I started doing landscaping during this pandemic for money and damn, I don’t think I ever want to go back to an office or retail job again.

[somethingsitka]

the goal? one day, i’ll be running my stardew valley farm in real life.

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[liiriiels-grimoire]

So, from everything I’ve read or listened to I’m not supposed to accept gifts from the fae because that’s a contract and could screw me over royally. What if it was the other way? Like, I leave an acorn cap or alcohol or honey, or other offerings to the fae. Would that end with my envitaple downfall or would I be alright?

[teawitch]

eh, kinda like paying protection money to the mafia. Keep making your payments and things will be fine. Stop paying, well, stopping is when you run into problems.

[bloseum]

moon is so beautiful, even the word is so pretty and has such a lovely compound words like: moonlight, moonflower, honeymoon, moondust

[byjove]

what city slickers don’t understand is that weird noises always come from the forest and we just ignore it

[byjove]

if you go out to investigate and get got then that is on you, ignore it and go back to sleep like a rational person

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

Me, on the porch: chillin

Woods: WoooooooooEEEEEEEEEEEG

Me:

[cypress-mom-deactivated20230220]

Best case scenario, it’s a fox. Worst case scenario, you’re next.

[dancing-thru-clouds]

If you investigate the noises the forest is making, you are opening the door for the forest to investigate /you/

[martinihomestead]

Basic Homesteading Skills

Crafts

quilting

embroidery

cross-stitch

knitting

crochet

sewing

Cooking and Baking

homemade bread

homemade butter

homemade extracts

dandelion jelly

Canning

26 canning recipes

canning jars 101

60 canning recipes

Gardening

edible trees to plant

what to plant to save the bees

cure and braid garlic

save seeds for next year

braid onions for long term storage

build a greenhouse

Animals

homemade chicken feed

raising mealworms for chickens

why to raise nigerian dwarf goats

Outdoors

starting a fire with sticks

trail signs

knotting

find true north without a compass

Medicine

homemade neosporin

all purpose healing salve

[criophorus]

These are all great resources to learn skills that will help with your craft. Making things by hand inherently infuses your energy into the result. Use that to your advantage.

[cosmospoons]

“Mr Darcy is not a romantic hero. He’s a socially inept nerd,” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off the stage in shame, when a voice commands silence from the room.

“She’s right.” I look to the owner of the voice. There in the 5th row stands: Elizabeth Bennet herself.

[politicalsci]

[aint-coming-back-lol-deactivate]

Seeing biblical teachings being reversed into conservative teachings is one of the funniest things holy shit. Like this makes it painfully clear that Jesus taught the exact opposite of all these things yet conservatives in the US wanna call themselves “men of god”.

[red-umbrella-811]

[false-gods-and-petty-kings]

[fuckyeahbiguys]

[fuckyeahbiguys]

We’ve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!

Because it’s important to celebrate the little victories in life. 

[doomhope]

[id: Photo of some bread on a table next to some wheat. Text over top reads, “Happy Bread Anniversary! ‘On April 19th, I made bread.’ -(CIL IV.8792) -Latin graffiti from Pompeii’s gladiator barracks. End id.]

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

obsessed with the idea of angels seeing the first human death. 

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

ITS JUST SO FUNNY LIKE EJJFJWKIFIIF

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

angels see a human die for the first time and be like “thats wild lmao wyd after this?”

[unholyhymns]

the angels watching Cain kill Abel:

[silversarcasm]

the idea of people having to be ‘useful’ is just so gross, like people do not exist to be used

having to produce something and have a use is a capitalist ideal and not an intrinsic part of humanity

just by being alive you are human and you are worth something and you can never be useless

[fluttersheep]

this applies to animals as well

[bloodblonde89]

“Having to like DO THINGS is SO OPPRESSIVE. No one had to like DO THINGS before evil capitalism. In ancient times food, water, and shelter just existed and everything was taken care of for me”

Guess what happened to people who didn’t do things before capitalism? They died. Cause if you weren’t hunting, gathering, or useful in some aspect of nature. You were killed, died or starvation, dehydration, or exposure. 

Being useful is literally part of our biology. Fucking moron. You pull some idea out of your ass because you literally don’t want to get off your ass. 

[silversarcasm]

I’m not saying nobody should ever do things ever, I’m saying people don;t have to produce to an arbitrary standard in order to prove their right to live

And if you really think disabled people deserve to die if we can’t ‘contribute’ or be useful in a way you approve of then congrats youre a fucking monster

[alliluyevas]

actually there’s significant evidence in terms of Neolithic burials that disabled people who would not have been able to hunt for themselves (the archaeological evidence mostly shows mobility disabilities because it’s visible in the bone record) were well fed and cared for by their communities

so the “people like you would have been left to die” argument isn’t just cruel and violently ableist, it’s extremely historically inaccurate and based off of projecting modern prejudice on prehistoric cultures

[alliluyevas]

sources because I’m on my laptop now!

note: in the neolithic era, a person in their 40s or 50s would be considered elderly

12,000-year-old burial of a woman about 45 with mobility disabilities both congenital and acquired

burial of a 40-50 year old Neanderthal man who had survived to old age with a deformed right arm and a long-healed head injury that would have made him blind in one eye

neolithic burial of a man in his 50s who lost the use of his left arm in adolescence

neolithic burial of a man in his 40s with evidence of a significant mobility disability caused by an injured hip and leg, some time in adulthood but long before his death

neolithic Asian burial of a man in his 20s with a congenital disorder which would have made him a quadriplegic around age 14. He survived for 10-15 years after that.

5th century burial of child with Down Syndrome

[stupiduglyfatcunt]

Our society continually propagates the myth that our ancestors’ lives were miserable, but the truth is human beings figured out how to live cooperatively and humanely a long time ago. Really the agricultural revolution fucked everything up.

[jamaicanblackcastoroil]

Cuz clearly people only died and starved before capitalism

[jacensolodjo]

Anthropologically, proof of fixed femur fractures in ancient hominids shows that is one of the signs of civilized people– caring for the sick and injured is a cornerstone of civilization. So lmao go fuck yourself with the injured and disabled died thousands of years ago if they couldn’t help provide for their group.

Stop turning ancient hominids into these cruel “survival of the fittest” images. Especially cause that isn’t even what is meant by that phrase.

Even Neanderthals cared for their sick and injured. Which says a lot about those who are against the idea.

[kyraneko]

Another point: back in the ancient times, pretty much ALL work that got done was work of the “if it doesn’t get done, you starve” variety, perhaps embellished a bit by the “if it doesn’t get done, you’re uncomfortable” sort. Work was vital, yes, but all the work that was vital was vital.

Nowadays, on the other hand, we have excess, and waste, and an absolute shitpot of arbitrary work that gets shoved into the “necessary and vital” pile just because somebody else can make a buck off it, made as much off of cut corners and financial shenanigans as of anybody’s honest labor. Shitty Wal-Mart plastic pitchers and crap toys that capture attention and drop it just as fast, “fast fashion” that you wear twice and it falls apart, shiny chrome washer-dryers that are going to be replaced in five or ten years because planned obsolescence meets upgrade culture, and produce that gets rejected because it doesn’t look shiny and uniform and perfect.

If you’re a cashier, you have to stand even though you could do your job just as well sitting. A fast-food place throws out pounds of fries, empties the whole assembly-line of prepared food into the dumpster at the end of the night, and if you take any of it home to eat, that’s called stealing. Grocery stores throw out entire cartons of eggs because one out of twelve is cracked and lock their dumpsters so nobody can scavenge food from the tons of what’s thrown out still edible. Tech stores demand that unsold computers be destroyed with a sledgehammer before being thrown out, and all the labor that went into making it, assembling it, forming its component parts and mining its raw materials, is all wasted.

We can see this shit going on, we encounter it and sometimes we’re ordered to carry it out, in our workplaces that pay us shit, and let me tell you, there’s a hell of a difference between “if you don’t get the wheat harvested we’ll have no bread all winter” and “you need to spend the next eight hours cooking food so we can hold a profit after throwing a quarter of it in the garbage.” A multitude of people would benefit greatly if allowed to access that waste or allowed to not produce what’s likely going to be wasted.

It’s not that we want something for nothing–it’s that we want the stuff we’ve put work into creating to benefit us, or someone who could use it, and not see good work twisted into benefiting no one while still being demanded and still being underpaid.

[drst]

If people in agrarian societies of the past starved it was frequently due to an uncontrollable act of nature (drought, flood, locusts, plague).

Now people starve because they don’t “produce” in an acceptable way for our capitalist system, which has a very narrow and limited definition of what being “useful” is, and because our corporate overlords would rather throw food away than feed someone who is starving.

We have enough food, but people are starving to death.

We have enough houses, but people are dying of exposure because they’re homeless.

We have enough medicine, but people are dying because they can’t afford to pay for it.

And we accept this as correct because we’ve been brainwashed that only “useful” i.e. “capitalist productive” people deserve to have food, shelter and healthcare.

That’s fucked up.

[sharpestrose]

caring for the sick and injured is a cornerstone of civilization

I’ve used this in arguments for years. Those in need are never a drain on a society – but the way they are treated is the measure of one.

[chronicfatiguechronicles]

Bringing this back, our worth is not defined by our productivity.

[botan-ique-deactivated20220924]

I cannot explain how badly I want to block everyone I’ve ever met out of my life, delete social media, smash my phone with a hammer, move thousands of miles away to a house with bay windows and a pasta arm in the forest, and be forgotten completely.