Lowkey Messmer brainrot @bastardsinclair - Tumblr Blog

my family used to have this sort of abstract watercolour painting up in our dining room, it was there as early as i can remember, and i always hated it. one day when i was like ten my mom came up to me, and i guess handed me something but i dont remember what, and she was like “can you put this on the shelf, by the bird painting?”

and i was like “..the what?”

and she was like “the painting of the bird on the branch. can you put it there” and she pointed to the abstract painting

and i was like “how is that a bird”

and she said “well what do you think it is?”

and was like “it’s a beached whale with a giant eye, blowing blood out of its blow hole onto the legs of a guy who’s running away”

..and i guess my mom thought that was like funny or weird or something so she told my dad about it, and he immediately said “oh, you mean the reindeer painting?”

wern

since you guys wanted to see it

hometoursandotherstuff

walmartnoodle

Wdym you hate Stratt? Without her you don’t get a story

wikicamp2

doc-cochran-deactivated20210609

vo-kopen

Big mood.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

The best part is how you can see he’s trying SO HARD not to laugh here

fullofowls

Tim Curry: I’m escaping to the ONE place that hasn’t been corrupted by capitalism! [shaky breaths while trying not to smile] sssPACE

delta-altair

The funniest thing about this is that it implies this was the best possible take

ifightformyfriends

Did you watch? It absolutely was.

spiribia

every time with sashimi it's like well how good could it be, it's just raw fish and you take a bite and start ripping your clothes off and roaring

thepromiscuousfinger

rochasaurusrex

GTA 6 Killers coming this November

femmchantress

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

femmchantress

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

eldr1tch-cr0w

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

peeepmaji

frogandtoadpdf

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

lakevida

chemsexholmes

Unfortunately you will talk like a tumblr user for your entire life. Sorry.

scribblyspaceskeleton

warriorsmurf

Unfortunately your kids might also talk like Tumblr users. My daughter said "Get cherished, idiot" to her cat yesterday.

theunvanquishedzims

Children usually do pick up their parents' native languages, yes

pangur-and-grim

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

pangur-and-grim