Just a little hey I'm back and still alive but also ramble post.
Anyone notice in art or irl no one seems to have an issue if women have their boobs out so long as the nipple is covered. Like even with artistic nudity. But not with men. Like it's not even a women have breasts men have flat chests argument at this point cause both sexes most certainly both have nipples.
And now that I've gotten my little ramble out of the way. I'll be trying to be more active here again. I've been having a lot of family health and personal health issues lately plus I went to a convention. Also got a girlfriend so I've been dedicating as much time to them as possible. So hopefully now everything will be back on track with art and writing posting onto Tumblr. Happy pride month and men's mental health awareness month guys!! đ
i enjoy seeing people depict ships doing domestic stuff theyd never do in canon. like yes i know in my heart that those characters would NOT have children and in fact should probably be banned from it on principle but hey. you're playing with dolls. thats just a sign of sheer dedication to a ship. i gotta respect the game.
have a lil piece of my mind and a thought that crossed it while watching a nature documentary where the food hierarchy of african wild dogs was shown. the one with the lowest ranks eat last, sometimes that's not a lot.
also, idc about grammatical mistakes. i had a thought, and i wrote that exact thought there. my mind doesn't make sense sometimes-
african wild dog!reader being transferred to the 141. a mixed hybrid team, a contrast to her former team, which was a pack of african wild dogs only.     Â
wild dog hybrids usually had a slim build, but surely not that slim, right? the 141 wondered about that when you spent your first weeks with them.    Â
but then it hit them.       Â
you always filled your food tray last, picking up the few pieces that were left. you sat beside them in silence while they ate and talked, only touching your food when they were finished.       Â
they let that go on for a few more days, watching your eating habits closely.     Â
even during a movie night, you only allowed yourself to get some pieces of snacks when the others were done, having their fill of snacks for the night.      Â
one day, you were called into john's office after lunch. you walked into the room with your head low, your thoughts racing.
what did you do? did you touch your food to early? did a teammate want something from your tray, but you ate it already? fuck, were they not finished with the snacks the other night?
in the office, john sat in his seat behind the desk, kyle leaned against the front of it, johnny was perched on the armrest of the couch to the side of the office while simon stood next to him, his arms crossed just like kyle.
all of them were here.
shit. you fucked up real bad.
your eyes didn't even meet john's, you just stood there, waiting to get yelled at.
but instead of price's booming voice, the only noise that was heard, was a small clatter. a tray. one full of food.
oh, so they wanted you to watch while they ate. a punishment for eating yours too early, how humiliating.
"eat."
what?
that made you raise your head to look at your captain. what did he just tell you? is that some kind of test of hierarchy?
"don't look a' me like tha', darling. sit down an' eat."
you rounded the chair in front of his desk, slowly sitting down like he commanded. while you cautiously ate, you felt their stares boring into you.
price started talking again, "we don't have some kind of food hierarchy. you don't need to wait 'till were finished just because we have different ranks, we eat together, alright?"
A Little Help, A Little Too MuchâKeegan X Reader
Gunfire tore through the treeline like a chainsaw.
âFuck!â Y/n hissed, teeth clenched as she dove behind a cluster of boulders just as a burst of rounds shredded bark inches above her head. Stone chips bit into her cheek. Dirt sprayed her back. The air rang with the sharp crack-crack-crack of Federation rifles chewing through everything that wasnât solid enough to stop them.
She flattened herself against the rock, heart hammering, lungs burning as she forced her breathing down into something controlled.
âElias,â she snarled into her mic, keeping her voice low even as another burst sparked off the stones, âyou better get the fuck out of there.â
âIâm already out,â Elias answered immediately, calm and steady like the world wasnât collapsing around them.
âThank fuck,â Ajax cut in next, breathing hard. âWeâre getting pelted on the east side.â
Merrickâs voice came through behind him, sharp and irritated, punctuated by distant gunfire and the hollow thump of rounds hitting cover.
âYou think youâre having problems?â Y/n snapped. She leaned out just enough to fire a controlled burst, forcing two Federation soldiers back behind a fallen log before dropping down again. âIâm pinned, and I canât find Keegan.â
There was a half-second pause on the lineânot panic, but concern.
âWeâd help if we werenât being chased,â Logan said, strained but still holding it together. âHesh took a slam to the head. Heâs out of the fight.â
Y/n swore under her breath. Figures.
âWhat do you mean you canât find Keegan?â Elias asked, sharper now. âLoganâget Hesh to the extraction point.â
âYes, sir,â Logan replied without hesitation.
âI mean exactly that,â Y/n shot back, jaw tight. âHe was supposed to be right here. Heâs not.â
âMerrick,â Elias said, âget eyes on her sector.â
âIâm on it.â A beat. âKeegan, sitrep.â
Nothing.
Another burst ripped through the air, close enough that Y/n felt the heat of it. She popped up, fired blind to keep their heads down, then dropped again as return fire slammed into the boulder, sending cracks spidering across the surface.
âFuck off!â she screamed at the Federation troops as they advanced, boots crunching through brush and dead leaves.
She reached down, fingers closing around one of her flash grenades. Pulled the pin. Counted one heartbeat.
Then she lobbed it over the rock and ducked, eyes squeezed shut.
The flash detonated with a violent bang and a bloom of white-hot light. Shouts eruptedâpanicked, disoriented. Y/n surged up immediately, rifle barking as she swept left to right, cutting down anything that moved.
One soldier staggered toward her, half-blind, firing wildly. His round went wide. Hers didnât.
He dropped.
âWhere are you?â Keeganâs voice snapped over the radioâtight, angry, and unmistakably pissed. Gunfire thundered behind him. âAnswer me. Now.â
Relief hit her like a punch to the chestâimmediately followed by fury.
âNorth side!â she yelled back. âBy the rock we agreed to meet at!â
She barely had time to swear before something slammed into her side and drove her into the dirt. The wind exploded out of her lungs as a Federation soldier tackled her, both of them rolling hard.
âGet your ass over here!â She barked into the mic as she slammed her forearm into the manâs throat.
âKeegan,â Elias cut in, crisp and commanding, âassist Y/n and rendezvous at extraction. Merrick, Ajaxâmeet them halfway. Iâm linking up with Kick.â
A chorus of acknowledgments followed. Y/n didnât add hersâshe was already fighting.
The soldier came at her fast, knife flashing. Steel rang as she blocked, imaginary sparks flying. Her arms screamed in protest; she was running on fumes now, muscles burning from time spent on fighting her way out after Logan and Hesh had blown their cover.
She twisted, trying to break contact long enough to draw her sidearm.
He didnât let her.
Fine.
She dropped low, wrapped both arms around his legs, and drove forward with everything she had left. They hit the ground hard. The impact knocked the air from him in a choking grunt.
She came up over him, blade raisedâand froze as his hand snapped up, fingers closing painfully tight around her knife.
Blood spilled instantly, slicing into his palmâbut he didnât let go.
âÂżQuieres conocer a mi perro?â He spat, breath hot and wet as his thumb jabbed at something on his vest.
Y/n didnât hesitate.
Her other hand was already moving.
She drew her second knife and drove it into his neck, hard and clean. His grip slackened instantly. The light went out of his eyes.
She rolled off him, chest heaving, ears ringing. No barking dogs. No surprises.
She wiped her blade on his sleeve, sheathed both knives, and keyed her radio.
âKeegan,â she growled, voice low and lethal. âWhere are you?â
âBusy,â he replied immediately. Gunfire cracked close on his end. âStay where you are.â
âI cannot stay here!â She snapped back as three more figures emerged through the trees, spreading out, weapons up.
The radio went dead.
Y/n ducked behind a thick pine as rounds chewed into the trunk, bark exploding around her. She dropped her mag, slammed in a fresh one, and moved her hands on muscle memory as she forced herself to breathe quietly.
Slow in. Slow out.
Come on, Keegan, she thought grimly, shouldering her rifle as shadows closed in.
Any time now.
âHey!â one of the Federation soldiers called out, his voice carrying too easily through the trees. His English was thick with a Spanish accent, almost taunting. âCome out now, and we wonât send the dog after you!â
Y/n pressed her back harder into the rough bark of the pine behind her, chest rising and falling too fast. Sweat slid down her spine despite the cool air. She tilted her head back and looked up into the canopy overheadâbranches tangled together high above, leaves blocking most of the sky.
I could climb, she thought grimly. She could scramble up fast enough to get out of reach of a dog. But the moment she broke cover, the Federation soldiers would see her silhouette against the sky and light her up. No cover. No escape.
That left only one option.
Find the dog. Kill it. Then move.
She shifted her weight carefully and peeked around the trunk, just enough to get a look through the trees.
Her breath left her in a sharp, silent rush.
The thing crouched in the shadows wasnât a dog.
It was hugeâeasily taller than a man even on all fours, shoulders rolling beneath coarse, dark fur. Its muzzle was elongated, teeth bared as it breathed, saliva stringing between them. Its eyes caught the light wrong, glowing faintly as they tracked movement that wasnât even there.
It sniffed the air once.
Slow. Deliberate.
Y/n swallowed hard.
âOh, I am fucked,â she muttered, then snapped her comms open. âThey have a fucking werewolf.â
She flattened herself to the forest floor immediately and began to crawl, dragging herself through damp leaves and low brush, keeping her profile as small as possible. Pine needles stuck to her sleeves. Twigs bit into her palms. She didnât kid herselfâif it wanted her, it could smell her already. But staying low was all she had.
âRepeat your last,â Elias ordered, voice sharp now.
âThey. Have. A. Fucking. Werewolf,â Y/n hissed, teeth clenched as she slid past a fallen log. âDoes anyone have a silver bullet they forgot to mention?â
Silence answered her.
Not disbelief. Not jokes.
Just silence.
That told her everything she needed to know.
âY/n, get out of there. Now,â Elias said, his tone brooking no argument. âKeegan, make your way to extraction on your own.â
âAlready doing that,â Y/n muttered to herself as she crawled, lungs burning. Her radio crackled with acknowledgments she barely registered.
She pushed farther through the undergrowth until her arms shook and her legs felt like lead. She needed distanceâjust enough to break into a sprint.
Behind her, a voice rang out again.
âAlright! We are setting the dog loose now!â
Y/n surged to her feet.
âOh, fuck you!â She screamed and ran.
Branches whipped at her face as she tore through the trees, choosing tighter paths where trunks crowded together, forcing sharp turns and awkward leaps. Her boots skidded over roots slick with moss. Her lungs screamed. Her kneeâalready achingâthreatened to give out with every misstep.
For a few seconds, it worked.
The creature crashed through brush behind her, snarling in frustration as it lost her exact trail. But it didnât slow for long. It didnât need to.
She heard it before she saw it againâheavy, pounding impacts, the sound of something too big moving far too fast.
It lunged.
Y/n threw herself sideways just as claws snapped where her head had been. She hit the edge of a slope and went down hard, tumbling end over end. Her body slammed into rocks at the bottom, pain exploding through her ribs, her shoulder, and her knee.
She lay there for a second, stunned, staring at the sky as it spun.
Move, she told herself. Move or die.
She rolled, scrambling for her rifle just as the werewolf barreled toward her. She firedâonce, twice, three times.
The rounds barely slowed it.
If anything, they made it angrier.
It reared up, towering over her, claws reachingâ
âand then she saw movement in the trees.
Keegan.
She didnât think. She reacted.
Y/n yanked her knees up and drove both heels into the creatureâs chest with everything she had left. A loud pop echoed through her leg, white-hot pain tearing through her knee as the rabbit kick connected. The werewolf staggered back a stepâ
âand Keegan slammed into it from behind.
He hit like a missile, driving a silver knife into its shoulder. Too high. Too wide. The creature howled, thrashing violently.
Y/n rolled away, biting down on a cry as agony shot through her knee. No time. No room for it.
She drew her sidearm and fired into the creatureâs back, shouting to draw its attention. It worked.
The werewolf spun and charged her.
She fired until the slide locked back.
âShit!â
She rolled, barely avoiding a swipe that wouldâve taken her head off. Her knee screamed with every movementâwrong, loose, unstable. Dislocated. She knew it immediately.
Before the creature could strike again, Keegan was on it.
This time, he didnât miss.
He drove the blade into its neck again and again, brutal and precise. The werewolf screamedâa sound that clawed at the nervesâbefore collapsing in a heap.
Keegan stepped back, chest heaving, eyes locked on it until it stopped moving.
Y/n stayed on the ground, breathing hard, hands shaking as she pressed them into her knee and felt the joint sitting wrong under her fingers.
âFuck,â she spat, pain sharp and relentless.
But she was alive.
And Keegan was standing.
Wellâheâd been standing.
For a few seconds, at least.
Y/n watched Keegan sway where he stood, the massive shape of him suddenly unsteady, like someone had cut the strings holding him upright. His boots shifted in the dirt, one foot sliding half a step back as if he might recover.
He didnât.
He folded down onto the forest floor with a dull, heavy thud, gear clattering softly as his weight hit the ground. The sound punched the breath out of Y/nâs chest harder than the fall sheâd taken.
âFuckââ she whimpered, pain tearing through her knee as she dragged herself toward him. She bit the sound off hard, refusing to let it turn into anything louder. Complaining wouldnât help her anyway. She crawled the last few feet and grabbed a fistful of his vest, the fabric slick and torn beneath her fingers.
Keegan groaned, a low, rough sound that vibrated through his chest.
Y/n hauled herself up beside him and knelt, shifting all her weight onto her good knee and bracing her hands against his shoulders to keep herself upright. Her arms shook, but she forced them to stay steady.
His vest was wrecked.
Not just clawed open by the werewolfâriddled with bullet tears, dark with blood. Someone had tried to stab him straight through the heart; the puncture sat just right of centre, close enough to make her stomach drop, but far enough that it hadnât killed him outright.
âYou lucky fuck,â she wheezed, pressing both hands firmly over the stab wound, applying pressure where it mattered most.
The bullets worried her less. They looked painfulâbadâbut survivable. That blade, though? That had come dangerously close to ending him.
Something warm slid down the side of her face. She ignored it. Head wounds bled like hell; it could wait.
âFuck,â Keegan coughed, his chest hitching.
She immediately lifted one hand, careful not to shift her weight too much, and tugged his mask up higher over the bridge of his nose, making sure his airway stayed clear.
âEasy,â she muttered, voice tight. âBreathe.â
She keyed her radio with her free hand. âWerewolfâs down. Keeganâs shot up.â
âWhere are you?â Ajax asked, concern cutting through his usual calm.
âI have no fucking clue,â Y/n hissed, pain flaring as she adjusted her position. âSomewhere downhill. I went on a bit of a run and busted my knee.â
âWeâll find you,â Merrick said immediately.
She believed him without question. Ajax would already be tracking themâblood, scent, adrenaline. Vampires didnât miss much.
âYou boys hurry it up,â Elias added, clipped but present. âWe canât linger.â
No one answered him.
For a moment, there was only the forest againâwind moving through the trees, the distant crackle of gunfire far away, and the sound of Keeganâs breathing, rough and uneven.
âYou⌠look like a mess,â Keegan rasped.
Y/n snorted weakly. âYouâre not exactly runway-ready yourself.â
He lifted a hand, slow and unsteady, fingers brushing her cheek. They traced the sticky line of blood along the cut at her temple, his touch careful despite the tremor in it.
âHead,â he murmured.
âIâve had worse,â she said immediately, pressing harder into his chest as he shifted. He hissed softly.
âHeyâdonât move,â she snapped, then softened it. âStay with me, sucky boy. Can you not heal any faster?â she added under her breath, trying for humour and not quite managing it.
âTryinâ, sweetheart,â Keegan muttered. His eyes narrowed slightly as they flicked down to her leg. âYour knee?â
She clenched her jaw. âDislocated. Donât worry about it.â
He groaned and let his head fall back against the ground. âFuckâŚâ
She watched his chest rise and fall, counting breaths like sheâd been trained to. She didnât look directly at his wounds sealing themselvesâdidnât want to see skin knitting back together wrong, unnatural. It still made her stomach roll, even after all this time.
âPain level?â she asked, professional despite everything.
âSeven,â he answered without hesitation. Then, quieter and strained, âFuck⌠I canâtâŚâ
His gaze dropped to his chest again, fingers twitching uselessly before he let his arm fall.
âI need blood,â he hissed, the words forced out like they hurt.
Y/n swallowed. âYeah,â she said flatly. âI can tell. Itâs all over my hands.â
âNo.â His eyes slid shut. His jaw tightened hard. âCanât heal⌠not enough.â He swallowed audibly. âHungry.â
Her brain kicked into overdrive.
It wasnât panicâshe didnât have time for that. It was math. Facts. Training.
Vampires needed blood. Without it, they weakened fast. Healing slowed. Control slipped.
And Keegan hadnât fed.
Not before the op. Not during it. Heâd gone straight through a firefight, then a werewolf, straight to her. No time. No opportunity.
He couldnât drink from the werewolf. Couldnât touch other magical blood. Federation soldiers were dead or too far away.
Which leftâ
Oh.
Her stomach dropped.
The realization hit hard enough to make her dizzy.
She was the only viable source.
Y/n looked down at him, really lookedâat the tension in his face, the restraint written into every rigid line of his body. He wasnât asking. He was barely admitting it.
âKeegan,â she said quietly, steadying herself with one hand in the dirt. âYouâre not losing it, okay? Iâm right here.â
His jaw clenched again. âDidnât want⌠this way.â
âI know,â she said. And she meant it.
The forest felt suddenly very still.
And very close.
âFuckâokay. Okay.â
Y/n dragged in a shaky breath and forced her hands to move. One came away from Keeganâs chest reluctantly, fingers slick and trembling as she reached up and fumbled with the strap of her headgear. The buckle resisted her clumsy grip for a second too long before finally giving way. The rig slipped from her grasp and hit the forest floor with a dull clatter.
She followed it with her neck warmer, tugging the fabric up and over her head and letting it fall beside her. Cool air brushed the exposed skin of her throat, making her shiver despite the heat pounding through her veins.
She swallowed and looked at him. Really looked.
Keeganâs face was tight with pain and restraint, jaw clenched hard enough she could see the muscle jump beneath his mask. His eyes were too bright, unfocused at the edges, like he was fighting something just as hard as heâd fought the werewolf.
âWhat do you want me to do?â she asked quietly.
âHelp me sit,â he rasped.
He caught her forearm, grip careful despite the strength behind it. Y/n shifted, sliding her other hand off his chest and grabbing the front of his vest. She leaned back, using her weight instead of her injured leg, hauling him upright inch by inch. He helped where he could, gritting out short breaths, and she wedged her good knee behind him to keep him from tipping backward.
For a heartbeat, it worked.
Then Keegan moved.
He caught her by the shoulders and guidedâno, pushedâher down onto her back, careful but urgent. She hit the ground with a sharp gasp as pain flared through her knee, white-hot and blinding.
A whine slipped out before she could stop it.
âSorry,â Keegan choked, his own voice breaking under the strain.
âItâsââ Y/n bit down hard, copper flooding her mouth as she stopped herself from swearing. âItâs fine.â
She didnât believe it, but she said it anyway.
He knelt over her with what strength he had left, movements tight and controlled like he was terrified of making a mistake. The forest loomed close around themâpine needles pressed into her back, dirt cold against her shoulders, and the sharp scent of blood and sap heavy in the air.
Keegan brushed her hair aside, fingers surprisingly gentle as he exposed the curve of her neck. His other hand slid to the back of her neck, firm and steady, holding her head still.
He hovered there, breath warm against her skin.
Didnât bite.
âIf I donât stop,â he said hoarsely, âshoot me in the fucking head.â
Her heart slammed painfully against her ribs. âThat wonât kill you,â she breathed.
âNo,â he agreed. âBut itâll get me off you.â
He pressed his sidearm into her palm. The weight of it felt wrong thereâtoo real, too final. Y/n curled her fingers around the grip anyway and brought it closer to her chest, fear curling low in her gut.
âOkay,â she said, forcing the word out.
Keeganâs eyes searched her face, like he was memorizing it. âJustâjust relax,â he murmured. âAlright?â
She gave a stiff nod.
âHow many soldiers did you drop today?â he asked, voice thin.
The question threw her off just enough to distract her from the terror creeping up her spine. âI donât know,â she said honestly. âA loâfuck!â
The word tore out of her as pain exploded at her neck.
Keeganâs fangs pierced her skin in a sharp, searing flash that stole her breath completely. She gasped, hands flying out to clutch his arm, nails digging through fabric as instinct screamed at her to push him away.
He didnât let her move.
His hand tightened at the back of her neckânot rough, but unyieldingâholding her steady. His other hand stayed planted on her shoulder, thumb moving in small, repetitive strokes, grounding, apologetic.
âEasy,â he breathed, voice shaking.
The pain lingered for only a moment longerâjust long enough to register as realâbefore something else rolled in beneath it.
Warmth.
It spread fast, unfurling from the point of contact like liquid heat, seeping through her veins. The sharp edges of pain dulled. The burn in her knee faded to a distant ache. Even the sting of her cuts softened, slipping away like background noise.
Y/n let out a sound she didnât recognizeâhalf a breath, half a sigh.
Her grip loosened.
Her fingers slipped from his arm, falling limp against the dirt and her chest as a strange, floating sensation took hold. Her body felt heavy and light at the same time, anchored and drifting, like she was sinking into warm water.
Her thoughts blurred.
This was⌠nice.
Too nice.
Her head went slack, neck muscles giving up completely. If Keegan hadnât been holding her steady, her head wouldâve tipped back into the earth. A coppery taste bloomed at the back of her tongue, mingled with something sharp and electricâozone, maybe, or just adrenaline finally crashing.
She blinked slowly, vision swimming.
So this is why they donât like doing this, she thought dimly. This is dangerous.
Her breathing evened out, shallow and slow, chest rising and falling in a lazy rhythm. The world narrowed to sensationâthe warmth, the pressure at her neck, the steady presence of Keeganâs hands keeping her anchored.
The warmth was still thereâthick and enveloping, like being wrapped from the inside outâbut it had changed. It no longer burned bright or rushed through her veins. It settled instead, heavy and soothing, a deep calm that pressed down on every sharp edge she owned.
The place where Keegan had bitten her felt cold.
Not unpleasantly so. It was the kind of cold that soothed inflammation, that numbed pain without stealing awareness. Like pressing snow against a bruise and feeling the ache ease instead of spike. The contrast between that coolness and the warmth spreading through the rest of her body made everything feel unreal, dreamlike.
Y/n had never felt like this before.
Not even close.
Sheâd been high on painkillers onceâonceâafter a bad op where shrapnel had chewed up her side, and Elias had very nearly lost his mind when he realized the med team had overcorrected. She remembered drifting then too, loose and slow, words slipping away from her mouth before she could finish them. Elias had been furious. Heâd needed answers. Intel. He couldnât get it while she was smiling at the ceiling like an idiot.
This wasnât that.
She didnât feel dulled or stupid. She felt⌠light. Clear. Like all the pain and fear and tension had been gently lifted off her shoulders and sent somewhere far away. Her thoughts still existed, but they slid instead of collided.
Iâm not high, she thought vaguely, and the idea felt important enough to note, even as it drifted away seconds later.
She wasnât even entirely sure how this was supposed to work.
Sheâd never asked Keegan or Ajax about the mechanics of being a vampireânever felt the need to. They were still the same people. Same habits. Same loyalty. Same dry humour and quiet patience. The fangs and healing and blood thing had just been⌠additions. Complications. Dangerous ones, sure, but not ones that changed who they were at their core.
And neither of them had ever asked to feed on her.
The thought floated through her mind without alarm. Sheâd always assumed that if she needed to know somethingâreally needed to knowâsheâd look it up, dig through old myth texts or blacksite research files. Vampires showed up in cultures everywhere. Most people wrote them off as legends. Ghosts knew better than most what hid behind myths.
Her best guessâher brain lazily assembling theories it didnât truly care aboutâwas that there was something in a vampireâs saliva. Some chemical. Some biological response. Maybe a sedative, or a natural anesthetic meant to keep prey calm.
Or maybe it was venom.
Injected deliberately, it evolved over centuries to make feeding easier. To make victims pliable. Comforted. Willing.
Which really wasnât fair because a vampire could easily take down a human anyway.
Whatever it was, she knew what it felt like now.
It felt like safety.
It felt like the world couldnât hurt her, even if it wanted to. Like nothing bad could reach her through the warmth, like she could just⌠let go.
Her mind triedâbrieflyâto wander toward darker thoughts. Toward the stories sheâd heard about turning. About the night Ajax and Keegan had been attacked while sheâd been on leave, half a world away and blissfully ignorant. Merrick had told her later, voice flat and eyes hollow, that it was one of the worst things heâd ever witnessed.
Both of themâAjax and Keeganâhad recalibrated their pain scales after that.
A ten wasnât kidney stones or getting kicked in the nuts anymore.
A ten was turning.
The thought brushed her mindâand slid right off.
She didnât want cold ideas. Or sharp ones. Her brain rejected them outright, nudging her back toward warmth and softness. Toward the river-like sensation pulling her gently along.
The floating feeling intensified.
It was as if she were drifting downstream on something warm and slow, wrapped in layers of blankets that weighed nothing at all. A faint hum filled her headânot a sound she heard, exactly, but one she felt. A low buzz that vibrated behind her eyes and down her spine.
She was dimly aware of Keeganâs hands still anchoring her. One steady at the back of her neck. One on her shoulder. Even without pain, she could feel their placement, could feel the careful restraint in his grip.
And then, gradually, even that began to fade.
Not abruptly. Not alarmingly.
Just⌠thinning. Like sensation slipping through her fingers. His touch dulled, then softened, then became more like a memory of touch than the thing itself. As if she werenât lying on the forest floor anymore but floating above it instead.
For a moment, there was nothing but warmth.
Then something pierced through it.
A ringing.
High and irritating, cutting sharply through the calm. It tugged at her awareness, dragging her back toward her body whether she wanted to return or not.
She frowned faintly, discomfort blooming for the first time since the bite. The warmth started to recede, draining away from her limbs. Cold crept in behind itânot the good kind.
Her heart was racing.
Too fast.
It thudded against her ribs with frantic urgency, each beat louder than the last, as if it were working overtime to compensate for something missing. Her chest felt tight. Shallow.
Thatâs not right.
The realization snapped into place with sudden clarity.
She was getting cold.
The warmth wasnât just fadingâit was leaving. And she knew that sensation. Knew it in her bones.
This was what it felt like right before you blacked out from blood loss.
Her eyes flew open.
The world swam, unfocused and smeared at the edges. She tried to lift her arms and managed it, but the movement was clumsy, disconnected, like her limbs were operating a second behind her thoughts.
Her mouth opened.
She meant to tell Keegan to stop.
No sound came out.
Her tongue felt thick and uncooperative, and then she realized something elseâKeegan wasnât over her anymore.
Ajax was.
A light flashed briefly in her eyes, bright enough to make her groan and turn her head away weakly. She heard Ajaxâs voiceâclose, controlledâbut the words were muffled, as if spoken through water.
ââpulling her out. Now.â
The ringing faded. The world sharpened in pieces. The smell of blood and pine and gunpowder settled back into place.
And then she was moving.
Being carried.
She blinked slowly, awareness locking in as she registered the solid weight of Ajaxâs arms around her, his grip secure and practiced as he carried her through the trees.
Y/n exhaled shakily.
She wasnât floating anymore.
But she was alive.
âFuck.â
The word dragged itself out of Y/nâs throat as consciousness settled fully back into her body. A brutal headache bloomed behind her eyes, pounding in time with her pulse. It felt like someone had cracked her skull open and stuffed it full of gravel, then decided to shake it for good measure.
She squeezed her eyes shut, jaw tightening as the pain stacked on top of everything else already wrong with her.
âAre you clear-minded now?â Ajax asked, voice close and steady. She could feel the subtle shift of his arms beneath her as he adjusted his grip, careful not to jostle her more than necessary.
âClear-minded?â Y/n scoffed weakly. Even that made her regret existing. âIâm fucking clear-minded enough to tell you Iâve got the headache that birthed Athena.â Her words came slower than usual, dragged out by exhaustion and blood lossâbut the venom was still there. So was the sarcasm.
Ajax huffed softly. âYeah. That checks out.â
She cracked one eye open, immediately regretted it, and let it fall shut again.
âWhat the fuck is going on?â she wheezed.
Ajax stepped over a fallen log, and the motion sent a lightning bolt of pain straight through her knee. Y/n sucked in a sharp breath and swore viciously under it.
âIâm taking you to the evac point,â Ajax said. âYou shouldnât be moving much right now. You need some blood.â
âThatâs rich,â she muttered, tongue heavy. âComing from you.â
He rolled his eyes. She couldnât see it under the mask, but she knew him well enough to picture the grin that followed. âAt least we know your brain didnât take a hit.â
âOh, itâs suffering,â she snapped, pressing the heel of her hand weakly against her temple. âTrust me.â
The thudding sound of rotor blades cut through the forest ahead, growing louder with every step. The air vibrated around them, leaves whipping and branches bending under the downdraft as the helicopter came into view through the trees.
âKeegan took more than he should have,â Ajax added, slowing as voices joined the noise. âBut he pulled off in time.â
Y/n swallowed. âFigures.â
âSheâs up?â Loganâs voice cut in, and his face appeared in her vision as Ajax stepped into the clearing.
âWhat does it look like?â Y/n hissed.
Logan snorted faintly and carefully slid a headset over her ears, muting the worst of the helicopterâs roar. âWelcome back.â
She was guided inside and settled onto the floor of the chopper, Ajax easing her down while Logan repositioned her legs, propping them up across his thighs to help keep her blood pressure from tanking.
âShould we give her blood?â Merrick asked, already moving, already assessing.
Y/n turned her head slightly and caught sight of Keegan near the backâpatched, pale, and looking like absolute shit despite healing faster than any human should. His eyes flicked to her, guilt heavy and unmistakable.
âNo,â Elias said immediately, stepping in and pulling the door shut as the helicopter lifted. âSheâs not dying. Medics can decide that later.â
Y/n let out a slow breath.
Hesh was sitting against the wall, legs stretched out, a bandana tied over his eyes while one hand cradled the back of his head.
âHe good?â Y/n asked, voice rough.
âJust hit his head,â Logan replied. âProbably a concussion.â
âLucky bastard,â she muttered.
Merrick knelt beside her and began cleaning the blood from her neck. The area was already bruising, mottled purple and red, angry beneath his careful hands. He pressed two fingers to her pulse, eyes narrowing slightly as he felt it.
She could feel it tooâfast, overworked, hammering in her ears and feeding straight into the headache.
Between that and the screaming pain in her knee, it was hard to decide which one she hated more.
âAnyone got something sugary?â Merrick asked.
âGlucose gel,â Hesh muttered, lifting his free hand slightly.
Elias patted his vest, pulled the tube free, and tossed it down. Merrick caught it, unscrewed the cap, and pressed it into Y/nâs hand.
âSlow,â he warned. âDonât rush it.â
Her arms felt like lead, but she managed to bring the tube to her mouth and start sucking on it carefully. Sweetness flooded her tongueâalmost overwhelming after the taste of blood and metal. Merrick draped a blanket over her shoulders and tucked it beneath her, trapping what little warmth she had left.
She caught glimpses of the others through half-lidded eyesâElias slipping Hesh pain meds with quiet efficiency, Ajax rewrapping Keeganâs arm where healing hadnât quite caught up yet. Logan shifted his legs slightly to get more comfortable.
Pain exploded up her knee.
âFuckâmy knee is dislocated,â Y/n snapped, more pain than anger.
âSorry,â Logan said immediately, guilt flashing across his face.
Merrick shined a light into her eyes again. She groaned and tried to turn away.
âI hate you,â she muttered.
âMedical hate,â he corrected, pulling the light back once he was satisfied. He peeled the blanket back just enough to expose her knee, grabbed a white bag with blue lettering from the med kit, snapped it, and shook it before pressing it gently into place.
The cold was immediate and blessed.
He padded and wrapped it carefully, immobilizing the joint as best he could in the cramped space.
âHowâs Keegan?â Elias asked.
âHeâs been worse,â Ajax replied.
Y/n finished the gel and let Merrick shove a water bottle into her hands. She sipped slowly, spilling some on herself. Merrick wiped it away without comment.
The helicopter rocked slightly as it turned.
Y/n leaned her head back against the wall, eyes closing.
Merrickâs voice drifted in like it had to swim through mud to reach her. Y/n groaned in response, the sound low and miserable, and immediately regretted it when nausea rolled hard through her stomach. She swallowed thickly, eyes squeezing shut.
The helicopter was quiet.
That was the first thing she noticed once her brain caught upâno rotor wash, no vibration rattling through her bones. When she cracked her eyes open, the familiar interior was still there, but everything felt⌠still. Too still.
She was still on the floor, lying on the backboard. Her boots were still propped over Loganâs legs. Elias was half-hauling Hesh upright nearby, one of his hands firm on his sonâs arm. And as the rear door slid open and Kick stepped in from the cockpit, it clicked into place.
They had landed.
She mustâve passed out somewhere between the glucose gel and the pain meds kicking in because she didnât remember the descent. Or the landing. Or anything in between.
âNo,â she whined honestly, not bothering to dress it up. She felt awfulâhead pounding, knee screaming, stomach churning like it wanted revenge. âI feel like absolute shit.â
âFair assessment,â Merrick muttered. âSomeone help me strap her in.â
Movement shifted at her side, and she caught a glimpse of Keegan dropping to one knee beside her. He didnât say anythingâhe rarely did in moments like thisâbut his presence was solid, grounding. Between him and Merrick, the straps were tightened carefully across her chest, hips, and legs, making sure she was secure.
âEasy,â Merrick said quietly as they adjusted her position. âAlmost done.â
Logan slid his legs out from under her feet as the board was manoeuvred toward the open door. Cold air washed over her immediately, raising goosebumps along her arms and making her shudder.
âSorry,â Logan murmured.
âNot your fault,â she mumbled, teeth chattering.
Hands appeared at the doorâgloved, efficient. Medics took hold of the backboard with practiced ease, lifting in unison. Y/n clenched her jaw as they carried her out, every small jostle sending a spike of pain through her knee and head despite their care.
The world outside was brighter than she wanted. She squinted, breathing shallowly, focusing on not throwing up as the medics moved her toward the medical ward.
Inside, everything shifted into clinical precision.
She was transferred onto a bed smoothly, straps released and replaced with sheets. Someone was already checking vitals, another slipping a blood pressure cuff around her arm. An IV needle pricked her skin, and she hissed softly as fluids began to drip into her vein.
âNo blood,â one of the medics said after a quick glance at her chart. âShe doesnât need it.â
âAntibiotics,â another added. âTwo weeks. Bite risk and multiple open wounds.â
Y/n nodded faintly, trusting them to do their thing. Her head felt heavy, her thoughts slow, but she stayed conscious, eyes drifting as they cleaned and dressed the cuts along her arms and torso.
âAlright,â a nurse said gently. âWeâre going to take care of your knee next.â
They applied numbing cream generously around the joint, working it in while explaining the process in calm, measured tones. Y/n listened just enough to understand what was comingâand to dread it.
When they repositioned her leg, the pain punched through whatever haze the meds had built.
She cried out, sharp and unfiltered, fingers digging into the sheets as the joint was guided back into place with a firm, practiced movement.
The sound that left her throat was raw.
The door opened almost immediately.
Keegan was there.
He stopped just inside the room, Ajax hovering behind him, both men frozen for half a second as they took in the sight of herâpale, shaking, eyes glassy with pain.
Keeganâs jaw tightened.
He didnât interrupt. Didnât step forward. Just stood there, hands flexing once at his sides as the nurses finished stabilizing her knee and adjusted the splint.
âAlright,â one of them said once the painkillers were fully administered and her breathing began to slow. âThat should help. Weâll be back in a bit.â
They tidied up quickly, checked her IV, and left the room quiet behind them.
Y/n lay there, chest rising and falling unevenly, exhaustion pulling her under again.
Keegan remained by the door, watching her like he was afraid she might disappear if he blinked.
âAre you just going to stand there?â Y/n asked, voice thin as she stared up at the ceiling tiles. The fluorescent lights above her were too bright, too white, and her stomach rolled uneasily beneath the weight of the painkillers. She swallowed and breathed through her nose, willing the nausea down.
âNo.â Keeganâs answer was immediate. He crossed the room in a few long strides and stopped beside her bed, looking down at her with that familiar, assessing stillness. âYou look like shit.â
She huffed a weak laugh and turned her head just enough to look at him. âWow. What a way to flirt.â Her eyes flicked over his torn jacket, the half-healed cuts, the faint pallor that hadnât quite faded from his face yet. âAnd youâre one to talk.â
âIâll be fine in a few days,â he said simply. âYou wonât.â
âLucky fucker,â Y/n muttered, a crooked grin tugging at her mouth despite the pain. Her gaze drifted back to the IV line taped to her arm, following it up to the bag hanging beside the bed. âAny idea what theyâve got me on this time?â
Keegan didnât answer right away. Instead, he reached out and carefully plucked a pine needle from her hair, then another, dropping them into the trash beside the bed. His movements were gentle, almost reverent, like he was afraid she might break if he wasnât careful.
âI told you to shoot me in the head if I didnât stop,â he said quietly, exhaling through his nose.
âYeah,â Y/n snorted. âBy the time I realized you werenât stopping, it was kind of past the point where I could do much about it.â
He leaned closer, resting his forehead lightly against hers. The contact was warm, grounding. âI forgot,â he admitted. âYouâve never been fed on before.â
âIt sure was⌠something,â she murmured. She lifted her arms with effort and let them rest against his thighs when he sat down on the edge of the bed. The movement jostled her leg, and a sharp whimper slipped out before she could stop it.
âSorry,â Keegan said immediately, shifting back.
âItâs fine,â she breathed. âThat oneâs on me.â
âI didnât mean to take that much,â he went on, rubbing a hand down his face. The guilt sat heavy in his voice now, with no humour to soften it. âAjax was fucking lucky he showed up when he did.â
âI thought Merrick pulled you off,â Y/n said hazily.
âNo,â Keegan replied. âMerrick wouldnât have been strong enough to throw me off in that state.â
âAh.â She let out a slow sigh. âYou guys should spar with me more. Maybe Iâd stand a better chance in hand-to-hand.â
A corner of his mouth twitched. âYouâre already good at it. You left a trail of bodies getting out of that base.â
âAww,â she smiled faintly. âYou noticed.â Her expression shifted as another thought surfaced. âIs Hesh okay?â
âI donât know yet,â Keegan said. âI was waiting until the medics were done with you.â
She squinted up at him, her thoughts starting to blur at the edges. âSometimes I think youâre obsessed with me.â Her words slurred just slightly as she stared at the IV again. âFuck, Iâm tired. What did they give me?â
Keegan glanced at the bag. âMorphine.â
âOh,â she mumbled. âThatâll do it.â Her eyelids fluttered, then closed as she exhaled.
Keegan stayed still for a moment, watching her breathing even out. Then he carefully lifted her head just enough to slide her hair free from underneath her back. He worked the braid loose, fingers patient as he picked bits of debris from itâpine needles, dirt, dried bloodâmethodically cleaning it out.
âIâm really sorry, Y/n,â he said quietly.
âItâs not your fault,â she replied without opening her eyes. âYou didnât mean to. You got carried away. I probably wouldâve too.â
âI couldâve killed you,â he said bluntly. âI would have if Ajax and Merrick hadnât shown up. You couldnât have fought me off.â
She let out a weak laugh. âGuess I should start carrying a stake.â
âI wouldnât mind,â he murmured, beginning to rebraid her hair with practiced ease.
âHow kind of you,â she slurred. After a beat, she added more seriously, âI wonât lieâit felt amazing. Right up until I realized I was losing too much blood.â
âYeah,â Keegan said. âItâs designed that way. Keeps the victim calm. Less panic.â His voice dropped. âItâs addictive.â
âFantastic,â Y/n muttered, cracking one eye open. âSo now Iâm addicted to you in two ways.â
He raised an eyebrow. âIâm not fucking you while youâre like this. You canât even walk. For several reasons.â
âI didnât ask you to,â she laughed softly. âRelax. You can keep your teeth to yourself. It was great, but the aftermath? Not worth it. I thought my skull was going to split open.â
âIt was worse because I took too much,â he said. He tied off the braid and gently eased her over so he could sit more comfortably beside her, stretching his long legs out and draping an arm around her shoulders.
âGood to know,â she murmured, settling into him. âIf I ever have to die, though, that wouldnât be a bad way to go.â
âYeah?â he asked, his gaze dropping to the dark bruises blooming along her neck, the bite mark stark against her skin. Ajax had sealed it to stop the bleeding, but nothing could erase the evidence.
âYeah,â she said softly. âThat, or a bullet to the head.â She leaned into his shoulder. âEfficient.â
âYouâre not scared of me, are you?â Keegan asked after a moment.
She frowned faintly, already half-asleep. âWhy would I be? You wouldnât hurt me on purpose. And Iâve made my peace with dying. Occupational hazard.â
He went quiet at that, turning her words over in his mind. He knew she was mostly okayâsharp, stubborn, a little reckless, but grounded. You didnât do the things she did and stay entirely sane, but she wasnât broken.
He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
âYeah,â he said softly. âI know.â
As she drifted fully under, Keegan stayed where he was, holding her steady. He knew what he was to her nowâanother risk, another danger she accepted without hesitation. A vampire was an occupational hazard too.
Been doing some more arting recently, plus a little rebrand as I am no longer Comet and instead Bug. I swear to anyone who has sent asks I am working on them just struggling to collect my thoughts and put them into words đ
I also have a strawpage now as well as an NSFW Twitter acc for my other art as it's unfortunately the best place I got to post things like that too.
For now just have a Roach stretchy while I work on getting all asks answered. You may also use my strawpage to send asks and requests and I'll post them to here and/or twitter accordingly đŤś
Absolutely can give hcs for my favourite critter!! đź
Spoiler warning for some things in Modern Warfare 2 (2009) in case someone is playing and doesn't want any
He is Canadian, I'd say born in Montreal, Quebec (I saw one tiktok talking about Soap's journal and they pointed out how he was likely Canadian based on the information given so I live by this now)
Roach is bilingual knowing both French (Canadian) and English
You need to know about a bug? He's your guy, at a minimum he'll know the name, but at least ones local to base area he can give you at least a few facts
In school Roach was the kid quietly working in the back corner. The one who's quiet until you start up a conversation with them then suddenly they don't shut up
He got so used to MacTavish being captain that when Price gets rescued he blatantly refuses to view him as captain and thinks him more like a lieutenant although he knows better than to say it to Price's face. On top of that he'll usually go to MacTavish for final confirmation on everything Price says
He's an excellent soldier. Quiet, follows orders without question, he's not in special forces for nothing. But when he's off duty or not on a mission there's a good chance he's acting more like fanon Roach, sitting in wild places, doing dumb shit, he's a chaos gremlin.
He's banned from coffee on base, he drank so much once he was zoned out just shaking for like an hour. After that he crashed and barely stayed awake after that. So MacTavish and Ghost agreed on a coffee ban to avoid another situation like that
When Shepherd shot him and Ghost he wished that Ghost had just went to shoot Shepherd instead of reaching for him first
Roach held Ghost's hand as they were covered in gasoline and burnt. Roach was glad Ghost was already dead so he didn't have to feel the pain of being burnt alive.
In his final moments all Roach could think was how their bodies would never be recovered, their families never told the truth of what happened, wondering if Soap and Price would be safe, if he had done something wrong to deserve this fate.
