OP’s statement implies that there is a way of acting that will convince the bigots that gay people are not satanic perverts.
There isn’t. Every single method has been tried: Being quiet. Blending in. Acting like middle class suburban straight couples. Being closeted and only finding partners who will keep the secret. Having one partner publicly take the role of another gender. (And then acting like a suburban straight couple.) Being ALONE, and just pining quietly for years.
None of it works. When the straights figure out who the gay people are, even if they are abstinent and solitary, there’s a swarm of bigots ready to denounce all queer people as evil, as corrupting children, as causing the downfall of society. A swarm of bigots ready to physically attack them to drive them off.
There is no polite enough, no ordinary enough, no invisible enough to keep us safe.
Queer people should act like they want to act. If part of that is going all in for the “I am your worst hellscape nightmare” tropes, that’s part of reclaiming the right to be full members of society.
And queer people of color have at least twice as much right to ignore all the stupid “don’t do that because you’ll offend people!!!” rules.
What offends those people is queer people of color existing, not whatever they did that got them noticed. The bigots just like to pretend that the issue is “I don’t want to see it” instead of “I don’t want the person who did that, to exist.”
Because if the issue is “I don’t want to see it” - just don’t watch the video.
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