et tu, bitch?

phee - 25 - any pronouns

[steelycunt]

imagine this heat and you roll over in bed an there’s some cunt there next to you. bruv id be inconsolable

[lesbianshepard]

waaaay back when I was a cashier in retail we would talk about dumb shit while unloading the truck, and we got to the "what would you do in a zombie apocalypse" me and another worker were like yeah we would just die. End it all, we can't fight or run or shit. I refuse to put that much effort into survival.

And my manager was like no!!!! If that happened, I would drive to find you guys in my truck and we could eat stuff from my wife's garden and I would make sure everyone I know survived!! I would carry you all on my shoulders away from the zombies!!

Anyway, random shout out to that guy. You were too kind for retail management, Devin.

[lesbianshepard]

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.

[befikra]

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

[befikra]

[sludge-wizard]

[t4timekeeper]

[transmortifried]

current US political news

[stupittmoran]

[captain-price-officially]

[reapering]

gps but for a way out of this

[hecata]

#it just says “through” :(

[nerdygaymormon]

[sentientsky]

characters going “we were lovers once”: eh, it’s okay i guess. it’s nice enough

characters going “we were friends once”: absolutely devastating. one hit knockout i’m gone

[zoppzoop]

getting violently ill btw

[writing-with-olive]

Unironically, this was the post that got me to start my current wip

[throathole]

I fuck him for precisely 15 minutes call me the quarter pounder

[lgb-without-t-deactivated202509]

[throathole]

Sorry

[g1ngerbeer]

nice pair of characters who trust each other more than anyone else in the whole entire world it would sure be a shame if one of them betrayed that trust for the sake of trying to keep the other alive. it would sure be a shame to love someone so much you destroy them

[g1ngerbeer]

“i need you to live even if it means you never forgive me for this” is an emotion

[yaoiblackmold]

The beauty of tumblr is that some people here think that cigarettes get you high and drinking once a week makes you an alcoholic, while others here started smoking at 13 and wouldn't even consider ketamine a drug because everyone does it. And both of them are on tumblr blogging about TV shows from 2005.

[hachama]

[pbxkreal]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

Happy Pride Month

[queerliblib]

we 👏 love 👏 gay 👏 cats 👏

and that’s that on that.

[proletarianprincess]

Why are you fat?

cause everytime i fuck your dad he makes me a sandwich

[sillysayaka]

and every time we kiss i swear i could fly

[lizardsfromspace]

"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

[chick-it-out]

[icouldwritebooks]

I love it when the little kids I’m teaching online have complete and total misconceptions of what’s going on. So far, I’ve encountered the following:

1. I had been teaching a little girl for several months, when one day she said to me: “My mother says you’re a real person, not an app. If you’re a real person, show me your husband.”

2. I was about to end a class, but the little girl I was teaching didn’t want the class to end. She turned to her mom and asked if she could please watch one more episode. Turns out she was under the impression that I was a very interactive TV program.

3. I couldn’t find my marker in class today. The boy I was teaching was like, “What’s your apartment number? I’ll come up and help you find it!” The boy lives in China and I live in the United States. I guess most people he knows live in the same building as him, so he assumed I did too.

4. I had been teaching a kid for quite some time when I mentioned my age in class. She was like, “Wait, you’re an adult????” She’d thought I was twelve.

[icouldwritebooks]

5. I’ve been teaching this 5-year-old boy from Turkey for a while. Upon coming back from a family vacation to the United States he greeted me with, “I looked for you EVERYWHERE while I was in America, but I couldn’t find you!!” Apparently, it was quite a cross country trip, because he described searching for me in landmarks from LA to New York. I reminded him that I’d moved to Poland, but he insisted that since I am American he should have definitely been able to find me in America.