Eli_My_Guy

Sometimes, I do a thing called thinking. I love my cats so much! ✨️✨️✨️ - He/Him - ✨️✨️✨️

[beetles-in-your-ass]

I eat mean people.

[em-bitterred]

Happy fifth of May: you're the happy couple, may you die together

[beetles-in-your-ass]

RAINBOW KITTEN SURPRISE MENTIONED!!! I love this band.

[ozth]

fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try

[ozth]

I woke up in the morning and everything was different

[silverjirachi]

your dashboard is supposed to be at LEAST halfway full of shit you have no context for and fandoms you're not involved in. it is the natural way of the universe

[beetles-in-your-ass]

Proud to say that whenever a stranger tags me randomly along with like six other people in a post I immediately block them without even checking what they tagged me in. I'm broke and can't afford to be giving out my bank information to unconfirmed websites.

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[byjove]

the 1980s nuclear family (based on firsthand accounts of people who lived through it):

bipolar mom with severe untreated PPD

workaholic & alcoholic dad

eldest son who is a 15 year old binge drinker who has been employed since he was 13

middle child sister who got really into church to avoid being at home, will be a pregnant housewife by age 19 despite being the most promising member of the family

sensitive little brother with a stealing habit

divorced Vietnam vet uncle who sleeps in a tent in the yard

chain smoking grandma who might have killed her last two husbands

dog that somebody dumped down the street that lives there now (best dog ever)

[byjove]

best dog ever is very important, I don’t think they build dogs the same anymore

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[charl0ttan]

[killxbunnyyy]

why ppl leave things in jesus hands knowing he got holes in them, is beyond me

[killxbunnyyy]

why ppl leave things in jesus hands knowing he got holes in them, is beyond me

[astroid-gardenss]

No I didn’t expect a song called Cocaine Jesus by Rainbow Kitten Surprise to slap so hard but man was I wrong

[beetles-in-your-ass]

Listen to more of their songs I beg they're all so gooood. Cold Love is my favourite but their other songs from that album are also amazing, like Bare Bones.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

chatgpt didn’t invent the emdash and they can’t fucking have it. it’s mine.

[vigilante-apologist]

Main character trios are meant to end up as a polycule and you can’t change my mind

[homunculus-argument]

Amazing how on the internet you see memes that people your age are making that are like "wild how I used to be able to stay up all night drinking Juice Of Make Yourself Allergic To Weather and snorting Acid That Corrodes Your Bones every single weekday since I was 15 and now that I'm 30 I'm fucking ancient and crumbling and every time I can sense a storm coming I sneeze so hard that I break all my ribs. Getting old fucking suuuuucks."

Like mate I know that telling you this now is massively unhelpful, but your situation was not inevitable.

[sharklover00]