Bookworm come Eldritch Horror on Hiatus

steel cut oats! they're chewy in a pleasing way. I would almost describe the texture as "bouncy"

#can confirm #is bouncy

I will not open up the Eva Stratt tag at 2am I will not open up the Eva Stratt tag at 2am I will not open up the Eva Stratt tag at 2am

this is what she would have wanted

renmoss

who will i be when the empire falls?

tobiasdrake

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

elodieunderglass

A wizard neither underestimates nor overestimates the number of hobbits needed for an equation. He, er, always has precisely as many as he needs to.

eva stratt you are my everything, I would die in space for you even though I know whether I'm willing to do that or not doesn't really come into it

#relateable content

Every time I see some joke about Star Trek-style teleporter technology I'm like "I should write a story about the potential of this technology re: the whole 'killing and copying people' thing and the ramifications of being able to essentially print people" and then I remember I already wrote it. Every single time.

#*two hours later* hey derin? what the fuck was that

Expected result of teleportation technology I think

#I WAS TRYING TO GO TO BED 😭😭😭#just reached the end of part 1 i can't stop send help#fiction

Read the rest in bed! Problem solved!

duarzish

#Holy fuck, this story changed me.

Good, that's what stories are supposed to do!

antique-scarecrow

Oh wow. Wow wow wow wow geez. Go read this

annawry

I say this with all the love in the world. What the fuck.

(Also, hey, go read this. You'll think you know what you're getting. You won't.)

defat1

No, that's about what I expected from a Derin short story. Those things stick with you forever!

If I'm going to go to the effort of typing it up it had better fuck people up or I might as well go play computer games instead

autumnmercy

Whelp, that just entered my category of “stories that aren’t technically horror, but really feel like it.”

That’s a good thing of course, the story was brilliantly written, and I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.

That category is most scifi

inprisonforsparkling

Just read this. What the fuck Derin

Stori

dawnsiren

Derin, what the fuck was that???? Cursed implications

Stori!

tinycrowthings

Derin, what the fuck.

I keep telling you guys! Stori!

#my grandpa liked your story#he says you have a marvelous imagination and developed a very unique story#and said the ending was poignant#I agree with him#great story

You guys heard it here first, mysterious-corpse's grandpa liked my story.

omnilily

I thought I had thought of all the fucked up implications. I had not. Not even close.

Derin, what the fuck?

There are way more fucked up implications that didn't fit this story, I'm considering returning to the topic with a new one at some point.

ocean-again

Derin, what the FUCK?

gricekrispies

WHAT THE FUCK IM CRYING YOU NEED TO MAKE THIS INTO A MOVIE

I don't know how to make movies. Best I can do is more short stories.

a-silent-glottal-stop

There's a line form the story that I think really sums up how I feel about it

“What?” I ask. Then, to clarify, I add, “the fuck?”

#eh #could be worse

great-and-small

I am constantly thinking about this

great-and-small

This mild Wikipedia sentence is like the understatement of all time

Here are some crazy grasshopper mouse facts for those who are not familiar with the most badass mouse species on the planet

- They are fully carnivorous, and their diet is made up of not only bugs but also snakes, lizards and other mice.

- They hunt like true predators, slowly stalking and creeping up on their prey before ambushing them. They will sometimes let out a screech as they attack.

- Like wolves, they howl to establish territory and have a specially developed throat to produce louder vocalizations. They will stand up on their hind legs and throw their head back to howl- a sound that can be heard from 100 meters away!

- Grasshopper mouse behavior is linked to lunar cycles and they are more active during a full moon.

- These mice have been hunting bark scorpions and evolving alongside them for so long that they’ve evolved a mutation where scorpion venom that is lethal to other animals is converted into a painkiller in the grasshopper mouse’s body.

#monster fodder

andy weir is bad at pacing omg, we're in a big exciting climactic moment and he cannot cannot cannot stop going on tangents about physics and his little scifi ideas. bro. you gotta accept sometimes not explaining every little thing please be a. better writer.

the movie is much better about this imo

the other day i was hooting and hollering about how cute nona was and roommate was like oh what is she doing? and i was like. well. she is literally just walking around.

theiaphage

I keep finding myself in this entirely preventable situation and having to recalibrate every time

milkyenthusiast

imagine reverse bimbofication art in the style of the bimbofication brainwashing posts. YOU ARE SO FUCKING SMART, USE YOUR GENIUS MIND, YOU ARE EVERYTHING. YOU CAN MASTER ANY FUCKING SUBJECT IN THE WORLD *flashing hypno spirals interupted by photos of prominent women scientists and graphs from quantum mechanics papers*

milkyenthusiast

fuckkkk im so autonomous and intelligentttt im literally thinkmeat

milkyenthusiast

yamada-ryo

honestly one of the all time tweets of all time tbh

toasthaste-art

made this tiny guy with the intent to have something i didn't care about that i could test my sealant on more thoroughly.... unfortunately now i quite like it despite the lumpiness lol