Heated Rivalry AU where Ilya dips out early from a post-game party with Boston, and someone gets the idea to put on a Hollonov compilation as a joke.
The whole team settles in with rapt attention, ready to roast the shit out of Roz over it via group chat, only to see. Well. It's a series of interview clips over the years. It's made up exclusively of three things. One, clips of Hollander "stealing" linguistically challenging questions that the whole team knows Rozanov hates. Two, clips of Rozanov derailing questions that are about Hollander's "representation of his community," which gossip on the street says makes Hollander uncomfortable. Three, Hollander and Rozanov commenting individually on the rivalry, with vicious comments such as. "He's of course a great player, but he'll find us difficult to beat." Such fire in Rozanov's comments are especially damning, given his whole chirp-king-schtick.
The video editor, with all the obsession and perception of a true fangirl, makes sure to circle every instance where you can see the shadow of Hollander and Rozanov pressing their feet together - and in one instance holding hands - beneath the interview table. (You wouldn't see it unless you're looking for it - or unless someone circles it in red for you.)
The video finishes, and the team sits in a kind of shocked silence as the next video auto-plays. This one is a compilation of Rozanov chirping Hollander on the ice. Here, the editor has helpfully drawn an arrow to Hollander's face whenever he blushes. The editor has also inserted text overlays with comments like. "Look at how fiercely Rozanov insults his rival." And then puts smaller arrows pointing to Roz's body language, with helpful texts like "excited wiggle indicating absolute fury," and "besotted grin indicating deep hatred." The sarcasm is distressingly accurate in its point.
(Listen, the whole team knows what Roz looks like when he's chirping someone. This - this is not it. This is not it at all. This is him when he's being silly with people he really likes. What is going on.)
The video finishes, and this time someone has the presence of mind to stop the auto-play before another mind-breaking thing comes up.
Someone else, trying to lighten the silence with a joke, and maybe dismiss it all as a fever dream, says, "Montreal Jane? More like Montreal Shane, am I right?"
And. Well.
Once it's out there, there's no coming back from it.
Cliff asks aloud, to no one in particular, "Are we just stupid?"
for fic writers — how to write the ivy (and little ivy) leagues
having just finished the game changers series and now having come across multiple HR fics set at ivy leagues I feel I have the obligation to correct / give out information on how to write these places for my own sanity and because Rachel Reid’s portrayals are so abysmally incorrect they haunted me for days (this does not just apply to HR I see these errors all the time and just want some source to be out there)
(my credentials: current english literature and classics student at one of these institutions — will not say which one out of fear of being discovered by my classmates who I know are also on this app)
the ivies are more than just the big three of harvard, princeton, and yale and all the other institutions (I’m looking at you in particular dartmouth) will Never Let You Forget That
there are a Lot of “little ivies” or old, prestigious, hard to get into often private schools across America with similar academic rigor and requirements to the Ivies — some of the most famous at UChicago, NYU, Norte Dame, Northwestern, Johns Hopkins, Vanderbilt, WashU, and Emory
the culture of many little ivies is something called “ivy reject culture” where students only came to the university because it was the best non-ivy one they got into for example washu kids often complain that they didn’t get into brown particularly in literary circles
the dorms are just as shit as all other college dorms don’t let the virtual tours fool you I had no air conditioning for a week once and it took three maintenance requests to finally get someone out to fix it
sports are important But no one and I mean NO ONE is going to these schools just because the got an athletic scholarship mostly because they don’t do athletic scholarships like you Cannot Get One. guys if you want your characters to go to an academically prestigious school AND have a sports scholarship send them to Stanford or to a UC school, particularly UCLA
for your scholarship characters: if you are low income and on scholarship (also called financial aid), you Absolutely are getting paraded around. Galas? You will be there. Luncheons? You will be there. I have had three meetings with donors this week alone. These mostly consist of sitting around eating cheese and telling donors how much you appreciate their work. the emotions of these meetings range from intellectual stimulation to downright humiliation.
adding onto that, you will Not be taught the Rich People rules. A friend of mine once came with me as a plus one to the named scholars dinner and she corrected me halfway through because I had been holding my champagne glass wrong. I still don’t know everything but that’s fine because Rich People think I am Hilarious. they will accept failures of etiquette when they think it’s cute that you don’t know.
More under the cut
if you are from rural America (like me), city kids (especially ones from New England) will think you are a redneck and will ask you weird semi-inane, semi-common sense questions about rural life like have you ever owned a gun or have you ever killed a cow or can you drive a horse an buggy etc that will make you stare into the distance. Unfortunately For Me,,,,the answer to all of those questions is yes and so that causes more questions.
Full rides are hard to come by. You get a full ride by either being incredibly accomplished (most likely earning a named scholarship) OR you are incredibly poor (most schools have promise policies to give out scholarships to low income students)
being jump scared by random famous connections or people will happen. My friend’s sister is on the us women’s national swimming team and has multiple records at her school (also a prestigious university with a good swimming program with other Olympians). You can randomly run into bestselling authors you didn’t know were visiting campus that day. Some crazy name will be the commencement speaker. You will meet People or meet people who know People
being jumped scared by random academic connections. One of my professor’s phd advisor was andre aciman, author of call me by your name. One of my friends’ latin teachers in high school wrote multiple papers that I now use as evidence in my research and I can email him for clarification whenever I want
RESEARCH IS NON NEGOTIABLE YOU WILL BE DOING IT BY THE END OF YOUR FIRST YEAR
most students come premed and switch. premeds you survive the first year purge will make it your problem.
STUDY ABROAD IS NOT REQUIRED BUT HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
student body is often pretty international or at the very least diverse in American hometowns. in my six person suite alone we have me (rural midamerica), Chicago, Taiwan, Great Lakes region, Miami, and St Louis)
despite this diversity, there will be a large portion of the student population that are bay area cali premeds, prelaw, or compsci. you cannot escape them. in my experience bay area premed students are the least understanding of financial hardship and often cannot stop talking about being both Premed and from the Bay Area.
being bilingual is expectation, not exception. most students have fluency in at least two languages if not more
most students will humble brag — outward insane arrogance is pretty uncommon
your friends spring break trips will be Insanely Expensive. Most people go to resorts in Mexico or the Bahamas or go somewhere in Europe, though I know a few people who went to Costa Rica, Nicaragua, and the Maldives
Questbridge is an external full ride program for low income students. The process is long and hard and complicated but my roommate is Questbridge and just know QB students are to be feared. They are the most accomplished people you will ever meet.
sometimes in the middle of a party, someone will whip out their calc three homework and then everything stops as everyone locks in to help them finish it (unfortunately you are all intoxicated and only make this worse) (this has happened at three different parties I have been to)
speaking of parties they absolutely happen even if they are centered in greek life and often there are party cycles or weekends that are dominated by that most obviously Halloween but some also have crazy mardi parties and Valentine’s Day gets wild as well.
CAMPUS CONCERTS — they are real, fun, and always a big name. Oftentimes the school hosts a fall concert and a spring one. A lot of people go, at least to the spring concert.
classes are both as hard and not as hard as you will expect. there’s way more work and higher standards but I’ve never taken a class that’s impossible to pass or required me to destroy my health to do so
grade inflation and deflation is real. ivies inflate little ivies deflate I don’t know why don’t ask
the automatic assumption is that student have money and are at least middle class so many clubs, events, etc, will be free on paper but expensive in actuality because they will require specific dress attire, equipment, transportation fees, etc that anyone low income cannot afford. I have run into this a lot and been unable to actually be a member of a few different clubs because I couldn’t afford external fees.
there are so many other things but these are the main things that I see people get wrong !!
It you want accurate portrayals of Ivy Leagues, academia, or anything like that, some authors who you can trust because they have written about it correctly and attended one of these places are:
I actually do need a fic where Shane gets clocked by another queer but is mistaken for a top. You're telling me Mr World's Best Hockey Player with his athleisure wear and his suave cologne ads and his stern media persona ISN'T being approached by some hopeful bratty twink who wants to get put over one of Shane's massive thighs and firmly told off? Please.
Watching Shane get hit on by women is not enough. I need to see him navigate this particular minefield as well.
Super Sub Shane is so tired, y'all. I think at first he doesn't even pick up what they're putting down - it's only after Ilya sees it happen and he almost laughs himself sick that he explains why the new rookie kept telling Shane that he really was suuuuch a big fan~
The book does not hit nearly hard enough with how bad things are for Shane after they’re outed and I need season 2 to crank it up to 11 (like book Shane’s rock bottom is he’s upset enough that he ate a snickers bar)
And not just that, I want it to tear Ilya apart that for months he’s been getting mad and snapping at Shane for fearing this. I want him to see Shane have everything cruelly ripped away while knowing the biggest fight they ever had was Ilya being mad about how afraid Shane was of this and how much he wanted to avoid it, especially with how supportive Ilya’s coach and team are in comparison
Of course Ilya didn’t think it would be so bad, his whole team is behind him as well as his coach
But Shane has his team immediately turn against him, his coach acts furious and disgusted with him, and the immediate punishment is that Shane Hollander, who lives and breathes hockey, who sees his entire identity and worth as a person being his skill in hockey, is told he is indefinitely barred from playing
This man has been told from day one that he has to be perfect, that he cannot ever fuck up, that he cannot be anything less than what is demanded of him every second of the day. And as soon as he’s not what he should be he takes a fucking sledgehammer to the chest made of every fear he ever had made real
This needs to be the thing that finally shatters him and makes him actually cry and stop holding everything in. I don’t want Shane sighing over the phone to show he’s upset, I need this to be viscerally heart breaking and soul crushing for Shane
It is very important to me that Shane was bone deep terrified of this and he was right.
And I want Ilya to sit there helplessly with every comment of “I think it would be fine, I think you’re the one with the problem” playing in his head. I want to see hockey homophobia manifest physically into human form and rip Shane’s heart from his chest while Ilya has to stand there and watch it happen
This is not anti Ilya, I love him, but I want this moment to be for him what it was for Shane to realize all Ilya had sacrificed to move to Ottawa. I want them to both have a moment where they’re horrified by what they’ve asked of the other while acting like it was nothing
For it to hit home just how meaningful it is for Shane to choose Ilya, we need to see him have everything torn away and still declare Ilya is worth it
thinking about how shane and ilya's expressions of queerness are so different and how it doesn't relate to their preferred positions during sex at all, because it's so refreshing to see.
shane is a bottom through and through, but unlike in many other queer media, he isn't effeminate or delicate. he's masculine and brash and jocky, he works his grill and sets up fires and wears fucking.. khaki pants or whatever. he's just a guy. a guy that prefers to be fucked.
ilya likes topping (although he would be down for whatever as long as it makes shane happy) but he isn't some burly, macho "i will dominate you" dude like tops are shown. he wears his cunty little jean paul gaultier tiger print and slutty tank tops, and he's sassy and has a gay accent in russian and makes these flamboyant hand gestures. they don't take away from his masculinity, but the important thing is that ilya doesn't have to be gruff and manly and stoic.
and it makes me so happy to see that the weird gender role adjacent stereotypes about topping and bottoming arent placed on them.
#and why theres a large disconnect happening between queer fans who see and recognize themselves in that dynamic #and non-queer fans that are still determined to rewrite Shane and Ilya to better fit gay dynamic stereotypes
YES to all of this!
as a queer person i adore the dynamic they have going on, and the nuances of their genders and sexualities and the roles they adopt. i love that the show itself doesn't play into the strange hetslop that gay media, especially books, seem to portray. re: rachel reid describing shane as petite and hairless.
however whenever i talk to a straight person about the show they seem hellbent on projecting heteronormative roles onto them. and this is also why i hate the "shane walks ilya like a dog" trope with a vengeance because it reminds me so much of the "haha the old ball and chain" jokes, even if it's taken in a positive manner.
i can't stomach the way shane and ilya are often codified into wife and husband roles by the fandom because this is a queer show! let them be queer. let them contain multitudes.
ilya is so “rage bait and fuck with you” husband and also he’s very “ahhh shane it’s a spider get it get it” husband
and shane is very “carry me to bed and im passenger princess ipad baby” husband and he’s also “im going to fix things around the house with my bare hands and chop wood manly style” husband
the wife in the relationship is the friends we made along the way (the centaurs) ❤️
gracieabrams
origamiaround
baratheonpilled
turnnoffyourmind
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