[cheese-on-tvs]

Italian Five Cheese on a Samsung flat screen

[medievalthymes]

a list of current immortals

florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen

keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe

jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess

harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s 

lorde: 1920′s flapper era

hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE

john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would

paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s

[inthannon]

I feel like this list is forgetting Sir Patrick Stewart who I believe has not aged since 7000 BCE.. After all his twin brother was the Kennewick man..

[space-feminist]

as a self-appointed expert on Hozier, i would say that date is possibly accurate.  

many of Hozier’s songs reference being buried in the earth (In a Week, Work Song), and some are directly inspired by bog bodies (Like Real People Do, Run). two of the most famous Irish bog bodies, Old Croghan Man and Clonycavan Man, are dated between 392 and 175 BCE, and both are speculated to have been kings ritually sacrificed to the goddess of the land. in Take Me to Church, Hozier demonstrates a willingness to offer sacrifices to a goddess, and in Foreigner’s God, he thinks fondly upon the image of a pre-Christian Ireland (“when the land was God-less and free”). as well, Old Croghan Man is estimated to have been about 6′6, and Hozier is about 6′5. 

the only possible flaw in this theory is that in a Facebook Q&A (here at 5:28), Hozier says that he is over 3000 years old. 400 BCE only puts him at ~2400. it could be that after so many years he’s lost track of how many thousands, but another possibility is that he is more contemporaneous with an older bog body, the Cashel Man, also presumed to be a sacrificed king. that would put him closer to 4000 than 3000, but again, we could forgive an immortal for getting his millenia wrong.

in any case, it seems likely to me that Hozier is an ancient Irish king who was ritually sacrificed to the old gods, but somehow returned (possibly through intervention by said old gods) to give us music subtly hinting at his experiences.

[mythicalmessenger]

this hozier addition is frighteningly detailed and I’m here for it

[mockiato-deactivated20200315]

Every single one of these headlines sure is something

[niggazinmoscow]

I’ve rewatched the ad at least three times to try and figure out why some folks are angry with it and I’m at a loss.  All I see here is: Be a better human. Set a better example. Encouraging strength of character and integrity over typical “machismo”.

[bisexualcatlover]

CHECK YOUR KIDS HALLOWEEN CANDY, I JUST FOUND A DILDO IN MY SON’S REESE CUP

[4gifs]

[socially-awkward-supervillian]

Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs

[youwinagainmoffat-blog]

jesus that is good to know.

[chandra75-deactivated20180905]

Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten. 

[magehenry-moved-blog]

REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit

my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies

[pkmnbreederbrianna]

Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying. So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs! The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!

[emo-islandniles]

AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS

[renirabbit]

this post just got so much better

[enjoying-nudiustertian-deactiva]

THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST

[wylltingtrees]

[yesbitemeharder]

Well that’s cute as shit

[bisexualcatlover]

Wanna know what would be really unnerving? If there was a cat named Katelyn or Tammy

[pastelparrotlet]

Reblog this if you’re pro-receiving a brown paper package containing one (1) handwritten love letter, a small jar of strawberry jam from the farmers market, and a smattering of pressed flowers.

[cursedcatpictures]

w Ör k

[princesstigerbelle]

Hacker voice:

I’m in

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Air conditioning is just domesticated wind

[tonysaintborgi]

i fucking hate this because it’s right

[robbstark-archive-deactivated20]

just once i wanna put the blade of my sword under a pretty boy’s chin and tilt their head up so i can see both fear and arousal in their eyes is that too much to ask

[carlottagiudicellivevo]

[dollargenesis]

this is horrifying because op just assumes that this is relatable enough for everyone and then person 2 somehow has a kermit meme to match that

[syntacked]

via weheartit

[bisexualcatlover]

My room is cozy ❤️

[and-down-we-go]

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,       I am afraid

[zanabism-deactivated20200529]

when you have a bad childhood god makes you hot in your 20s

[gaypussyretard]

[taylorswift]

Olivia just realized I’m wearing earrings of her face.