Who Needs Friends When There's Netflix

☠️☠️☠️

[piesandswords]

checking your phone in the middle of a task

[annoyinger]

me, when I see a dog:

[acedious-deactivated20210302]

Visit Original Link

Beach Boys - Wouldn’t It Be Nice From Another Room

[rosewater40oz]

I can’t listen to this without crying

[enyafan]

I’m going to reblog this at least twice a day increasing in frequency until it’s the only content on my blog…… nothing else matters…… at all……..

[under-the-arch]

[slab-o-meat]

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

[amongthespaghetti]

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

[anchorsandmoons]

[sophiaungrady]

Child Hood Memories you have to reblog if when you saw this you heard the man say it in your head

[thatssomanda]

This was the most fucking annoying commercial

[prince-snoozy]

COMING SOON [speakers blow out] TO OWN ON DVD [children scramble for the remote] AND VIDEO CASSETTE [atomic bomb explodes in living room]

[theevilresident]

please listen to Bert’s nephew i am begging you

[theevilresident]

[seaglassdinosaur]

Ernie: how about a shark, to swim

Bert’s nephew:

[what-even-is-thiss]

Every single time I say the phrase “I was classically trained in the art of multiple choice tests” everyone in the room who’s not a millennial laughs at my joke while all the other millennials in the room immediately look like they just walked in on a funeral by accident.

[the-small-one-to-rule-them-all]

teach me please

[what-even-is-thiss]

Why? It has nothing to do with the real world and I’m mad that the school system taught me how to take multiple choice tests rather than write a report for a job or properly research what issues are important when deciding who to vote for in an election. Or like… accurate history. You know. Actual stuff you need to know to be a person.

[the-small-one-to-rule-them-all]

im currently stuck in the school system and I want cheat codes

Okay, I completely understand wanting to know the actual stuff, I want to know those things too, and those are things im working on learning. but to be able to get to the information that tells me these things I need to survive this hellhole of a system and im bad at tests, which means i dont survive very well. 

[what-even-is-thiss]

Okay fine.

Read the entire question twice to look for tricky wording. If you’re allowed to write on it circle or underline words like NOT or EXCEPT or other things your brain might skip over. This will make it less likely you’ll skip over them.

Read all the answers before answering. Sometimes the wrong answers are so stupid you don’t even have to work out the problem or try to remember the thing.

If the entire test is about the same subject (Colonial America for example) answers might be found in previous questions. Like question #6 might ask who wrote Common Sense. You might remember that back in question one it said “In Common Sense by Thomas Paine” and there’s your answer. This happens a lot more often than you’d think.

If you don’t know the answer cross out the answers you know are incorrect. If there are four answers but you know one of them is wrong your odds of guessing right just went up from 25% to 33%. If you can eliminate two answers then you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right.

If you can’t eliminate any answers at all guess C. The placement of correct answers isn’t completely random and C is the answer slightly more often than other answers. If you guess randomly your odds of getting the answer right actually goes down.

Read study guides and take practice tests. Actually read them. Especially if they’re written by the same person who wrote the test you’ll be taking. You’ll be more likely to pick up on their quirks and what kind of trick questions they write if you use the study material. You’ll also know what to study and what to leave.

For sections where there’s a list of words you have to match to definitions read the words first. You’re probably more likely to know the definition of a word then the word that goes with a definition. (or time period or math method or whatever). Answer the ones you know and leave the ones you don’t until you’re completely done with that section. Then look at your remaining words and definitions and match them to the ones that sound the least ridiculous.

Don’t take a test on an empty stomach unless you’re fasting for religious reasons. I don’t care if you haven’t eaten breakfast in twenty years. You’re gonna eat something before you take that test.

Remember that taking multiple choice tests is a skill that not everyone is naturally good at and it’s a skill that means absolutely nothing in the real world. So however you do on this test doesn’t dictate your worth as a person.

[kurlyfryz]

As someone who is also classically trained in the art of multiple choice test, I can confirm

[chemically-imbalanced-romance]

Yeah I learned all this shit too. And like while most things public school teaches you is such fucking bullshit, this is actually true.

[queeranne]

Things I didn’t understand as a child:  

why you’d make your bed every morning if you’re gonna sleep in it anyway

taxes

Things I don’t understand as an adult: 

why you’d make your bed every morning if you’re gonna sleep in it anyway

taxes

[the-rose-cat]

1. Think of it this way if your blanket is up and flattened spiders are less likely to get in 2. Idk either

[may]

me at 13: *has acne*

somebody: don't worry it will go away

me at 20: when

[kabaks]

sometimes i think about gay people who lived centuries ago who thought they were all alone who imagined a world where they could live openly as themselves who met in secret spoke in code defied everything and everyone just to exist and i’m like..i gotta sit down. whew i gotta sit down

[l2g-deactivated20240513]

this is why this sappho fragment hits me so hard

[doomedvoyages]

[bidoof]

homestuck ruined my life

[dwinkus]

matt you big baby you never even read homestuck

[bidoof]

you don’t need to smoke cigarettes to suffer from second hand smoking

[actualnymph]

on all levels except physical I am at the bottom of a swimming pool

[danisontnonfire]

physically I keep floating up no matter how much water I scoop up with my arms

[fuck-customers]

The next person who tries to correct me when I say “Happy Holidays” is going to be told Happy Hanukkah instead. Very tired of hearing, “No, it’s MERRY CHRISTMAS.” I’m pretty sure Judaism was around a lot longer than your Buckstar’s boycotting butt, Karen.

[batzendrick-deactivated20230703]

My boss once shared a great story about that. This happened when he was in a layover in North Carolina back when the “War on Christmas” bullshit was first becoming prominent. He had gone to get a pack of cigarettes, and after he paid for it:

“Merry Christmas.” “Happy holidays.” “No. I said Merry Christmas.” “Do you know what Hanukkah is about?” “No, what?” “Some people tried to make us worship their ways, so we rose up and killed them. Happy Hanukkah.”

[nothingelsemakessense]

I celebrate Christmas, but generally avoid holiday themed greetings when working as a cashier unless the customer mentions their holiday specifically. 

The other day, two older ladies were buying briskets and told me they was for their Hanukkah celebration that night, so I responded something like “Well Happy Hanukkah! It’s the third night, right?” 

I shit you not these two old ladies were so tickled that someone at a store wished them a happy Hanukkah. One of them literally told me I was “the first one to do that”. 

To those who think there’s a war on Christmas, please get the fuck over yourself and remember that not everyone experiences the world the way you do.

[asimplebagelboy-deactivated2020]

can i add that saying “happy holidays” doesnt mean “not merry christmas” it means “i hope that whatever you celebrate is joyful and peaceful and a good time” like back tf up if you think otherwise

[books-in-order]

This good boy is a chimera, which is an animal that is genetically two animals, in this case he’s a yellow and black lab. This means he is twice the good boy. (Not my picture, found on Facebook)

[kineticpenguin]

this is by far the least upsetting dog chimera I’ve ever seen

[bace-jeleren]

Reblogging for Good Dog Chimera

Reblog for protection from the Bad Dog Chimera™ (you know the one)

[forestlymph]

My boobs are too big for a lot of y'all trends but keep it up… Looks great

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I have exactly one (1) lifehack for every adult thing and that is “admit your ignorance to customer service people”

no, seriously! I know how nothing in adult life works, but I have learned it by calling up the customer service division of whatever agency I am having a problem with and then just asking about whatever the problem is, emphasizing my complete lack of knowledge about the thing.

my actual literal script for these interactions: “Hi, my name is [name]. This is my problem: [problem]. I don’t know how [adult thing] works. could you explain how [adult thing] works?” it fucking works every time.

me: I keep getting conflicting information as to whether my therapist is covered by my health insurance. I don’t know anything about health insurance, so this is very confusing to me. could you explain why this might be happening? health insurance customer service: it’s because your normal health insurance is X company but your mental healthcare is subcontracted out to Y company, and Y covers your therapist but X doesn’t. just always bill Y when you go to your therapist and you’ll be fine.

me: I accidentally put the wrong date to pay my credit card off and I’m afraid it will post before I get paid. this is my first credit card so I don’t know what I’m doing. could you tell me when it will post? customer service person: it will send a message to your bank today, but your bank won’t respond to it until tomorrow when you get paid, so you’re fine. and even if it does bounce, the fee is only $25 and you qualify for a waiver.

me: I went to an urgent care place that said they’d take my health insurance, but now i have a big bill. I don’t know how billing works: can you explain why the amount is so much for such a routine trip? customer service person: it’s because you were out of network at the time. however, since your insurance hasn’t covered the cost of care, the urgent care people should refund you for the cost of the services you paid for. me: [gets actual check in mail for the $200 I spent on testing my pee]

I would not recommend this method for retail (for the love of god, do not tell a sleazy car dealer that you don’t know how cars work), and sure, sometimes you have to speak to the manager or threaten a credit card chargeback or whatever you need to do. but 99% of the time, speaking nicely and admitting to needing help has worked wonders for me, and means I don’t have to stew in terror over doing some adult thing Wrong.

[rosebramblewolf]

legit this works for like, shopping for clothes for occasions that dont normally come up in your life, i the retail peon will teach you how to wear a suit