those_therapy_things

Psychotherapist who likes to write. Based in Cambridge UK. @Thriveglobal @Therapyroute @Planetmindful Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Specialist. www.ruthparchmentcbt.com  IG: @those_therapy_things FB: @ruthcbtcambridge 

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Usually, after a closer investigation, numerous subtle hidden mental compulsions become apparent. (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ_CjzMseoq/?utm_medium=tumblr

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This fascinating article highlights why as social creatures we require connections and interactions that feel good; its hardwired into us as a basic need. Our bodies and brains literally experience deterioration and deficit in interpersonal situations that cause us stress. As a therapist, I see social connections as being crucial in our health and well-being. I regularly work with people who have faced social and interpersonal trauma: usually following an accumulation of experiences such as verbal and physical aggression/harm, bullying, social rejection and neglect. These experiences are more often than not devastating and play a significant role in shaping how an individual relates to themselves, others and the world around them. I want to emphasize that there is hope however! Just having one or even a few people around us who provide consistency, safety, trust and 'good vibes' can make a huge difference: for many people who have experienced interpersonal trauma this in itself is healing. Therapy can also provide a helpful space towards learning how to move towards building connections & interactions that are safe, affirming and generally bring out the good in us. Article copied from here: https://ideas.ted.com/peoples-words-and-actions-can-actually-shape-your-brain-a-neuroscientist-explains-how/ . . . . . . #interpersonaltrauma #cptsd #cptsdrecovery #emotionalneglect #emotionalneglectrecovery #relationshiptrauma #relationshiptraumarecovery #cambridgecbt #cambridgecbttherapist #cbttherapy #onlinetherapy #onlinecbt #uktherapy #cbtuk #cbttherapist (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLm4FJYjuNz/?igshid=1e5ekzz7uousl

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Myths There are some myths that surround intrusive thoughts. These include: Myth 1: A person wants to act on these thoughts Fact: People do not want to act on their intrusive thoughts According to the ADAA, the opposite is true. The most dangerous myth surrounding intrusive thoughts is that they will lead to action. Those experiencing these thoughts typically work hard to fight them, which results in the thoughts becoming persistent. The thoughts are at odds with the nature of the person thinking them. Myth 2: All thoughts are worth examining Fact: Thoughts do not always have a significant meaning People do not have to see every thought as a sign or warning of something. Despite how these thoughts can make a person feel, they do not carry any meaning or desire. person does not have to live with intrusive thoughts. Several treatment options are available for people experiencing intrusive thoughts. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help a person change how they think and react to these thoughts. From: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/intrusive-thoughts#myths] . . . . . . . #ocdawareness #ocd #intrusivethoughts #scarythoughts #cbttherapist #cbtcambridge #cbtcambridgeuk #therapycambridgeuk #cbttherapy (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLgVq1aD4bT/?igshid=pt3jdifxyc3d

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From @drdoylesays We are more likely to consistently apply skills & tools when they are used with flexibility. . . . . . . . #copingstrategies #therapyskills #therapytools #cbt #cbttherapy #cambridgecbt #cambridgecbttherapist #onlinecbt #cbtonline #depression #anxiety #ocd #trauma #recovery (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJaYeitDx5N/?igshid=1hgkwcx5nrc1t

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I contributed my thoughts on apologies to Happiful this months Happiful magazine. Full magazine article here: https://issuu.com/happiful/docs/happiful_december_2020/28 #happifulmagazine @happiful_magazine . . . . . . . . . . . . #apologies #toxicapologies #apology #authenticity #authenticrelating #relationships #relationshipadvice #cambridgetherapy #cambridgecbt #cambridgetherapists #cambridgetherapy #cbttherapist #cbtcambridge #cambridge (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHyjscCjkd8/?igshid=gh94ic6vxtzf

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Here's a recent article that I wrote for @elephantjournal https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/09/these-apologies-are-insincere-manipulative-ruth-parchment/?fbclid=IwAR20gfVqeFJsK2Tro5thysv4nPXREv3YyU4dg7yb0SpHDx7tIVMuUIuYqyM . . "We may have received an apology that conveyed the message that we’ve overreacted or an apology that shifts blame on us. When that happens, any possibility of restitution or repair is seized in an instant. Maybe we’ve realized that we need to say sorry and end up rendering a statement that shows we are anything but sorry. If this sounds familiar, we are most likely giving or receiving a non-apology—another term for it is “faux apology.” . . . . . #relationships #healthyrelationships #relationshipdifficulties #apologizing #apologies #depression #anxiety #lowselfesteem #abusesurvivor #abuseawareness #narcissisticabuse #cambridgecbt #cambridgecbttherapist #cambridgecbtuk #cbttherapist #therapycambridge (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CE4VkiZjMD5/?igshid=1u01mduvnlasz

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Video can be found here: https://youtu.be/n3Xv_g3g-mA type "loneliness" into Youtube, it's by a channel called Kurgesagt-In a nutshell This highly insightful video draws upon aspects of CBT to help us understand the ways in which our environment, biology, thoughts, beliefs and behaviours led to loneliness. Its particularly useful for people who struggle with social anxiety, low self-esteem and also trauma which is interpersonal in nature and has led to disconnection from others. From the channel: Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell: "Everybody feels lonely sometimes. But only few of us are aware how important this feeling was for our ancestors - and that our modern world can turn it into something that really hurts us. Why do we feel this way and what can we do about it?" Sources: https://sites.google.com/view/sources... Books mentioned in the endcard: 'Emotional First Aid' by Guy Winch https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Firs... 'Loneliness' by John Cacioppo & William Patrick https://www.amazon.com/Loneliness-Hum... If you feel that you need help therapy towards working through loneliness feel free to contact me: https://www.ruthparchmentcbt.com/ . . . . . . . #loneliness #lonelinessepidemic #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #interpersonaltrauma #socialdisconnection #lowselfesteem #lowselfconfidence #notbelonging #feelingrejected #cbt #cbttherapy #cbtcambridge #cbtcambridgeuk #therapycambridge #cambridgecbt #cambridgecbttherapist (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CE1BbAHjFTC/?igshid=1udxwbau63mc6

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When we ask ourselves what makes us happy, we often think of the circumstances, possessions, or people in our lives. In reality, happiness is largely a chemical experience. Four main neurochemicals, hormones, and neurotransmitters generated in the brain are fundamentally responsible for creating the sensations and emotions we've come to associate with happiness. This is actually great news. It means even when circumstances, possessions, or people in our lives aren't exactly as we'd like them to be, there are simple ways we can increase our happy brain chemicals and alter our moods. Behavioural Activation is a intervention from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which focuses on helping you manage a mixture of activities with will help increase your natural happy brain chemicals. Adapted from: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23924/the-brain-chemicals-that-make-you-happy-and-how-to-trigger-them.html . . #happiness #happyhormones #brainhealth #brainchemistry #oxytocin #serotonine #depression #anxiety #ptsd #ocd #perfectionism #cbtcambridge #cbtcambridgeuk #cambridgecbt #cambridgecbttherapist #cambridgecbtuk #therapycambridge (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CD7CFy7DzaN/?igshid=13qobuc2dppvp

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I went for a walk in Hertfordshire recently and was struck by sky. It appeared moody that day. Had I taken the photo a few days earlier or even the day before, the picture would have been very different. Instead of a grey moody sky, I might have caught a cloudless sky with bright golden blue hues. . The sky is a great metaphor for understanding the transience of our own moods. As the sky constantly changes, so do our moods. Learning to observe is a powerful tool which can help us accept, rather than react to our varied and difficult moods. . As an exercise you might start by making observations which start with comparing yourself to the sky. For example, As a person, I experience cloudy thoughts and feelings. I also experience sunny thoughts and feelings. I experience thunder or turbulent thoughts and feelings. At other times I experience gentle or snowy thoughts or feelings. I experience all these thoughts and feelings but they change, move, and go by. I remain the same. I don’t change, but the weather does. My thoughts and feelings keep changing but they do not become me. I experience my thoughts, but they are not ‘me’. When using this exercise with a client it is important to emphasise that the sky is unchanging. The sky represents the Observing Self. It does not change but everything else does - thoughts, feelings and other experiences. One easy way of introducing this metaphor is to ask the client to think about walking outside and experiencing the wind. We start by asking the question ‘if we walk out and experience the wind, are we the wind?’ The answer is obviously no. ‘What if we walk out a minute later and experience the wind and experience a thought popping up, are we the thought?’ Again, the answer is no. What occurs is that we experience the wind (a sensation) and thoughts (comments and judgements) but we are not those thoughts any more than we are the wind. If we can notice the wind, we can’t be the wind. If we can notice a thought, we cannot be that thought. The Observing Self is the context within which experiences happen. From that context we can observe or witness without judgement. [Adapted from ACT in Depth by https://neshnikolic.com/] (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCT3m3UDG9m/?igshid=snczy30ewhjk

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Infographic from @themind_doc Our culture doesn’t always leave space for men to express inner struggles. Men are taught from an early age, either by cultural referencing around them or by direct parenting, to be tough, not to cry, and to ‘crack on,’”. says Dr. David Plans, CEO of BioBeats, who has done extensive research in this area. The full article on mens mental health can be found here: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/celebs-speak-out-men-mental-health . . . . #mensmentalhealthawareness #mensmentalhealth #mensmentalhealthmatters #therapistsofinstagram #therapyformen #therapyformentalhealth #therapy #mensdepression #mensmentalwellbeing #cbtcambridge #cambridgecbt #therapistcambridge #psychotherapycambridgeuk https://www.instagram.com/p/CCTeF8FDDg8/?igshid=1kho9ks7ry0lc

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Some positive affirmations for Pride month. From @pink_news . . . #lgbtqia #lgbtq🌈 #lgbtqtherapist #sexualdiversity #genderdiversity #gsrtherapy #prolgbtwtherapist #transhumanrights #gayawareness #lesbianawareness #pansexualpride #bisexualpride #asexualpride #aromanticpride #transpride #intersexpride #nonbinarypride #lgbtpride #pridemonth #cambridgetherapists #cbtcambridge #cambridgecbtuk #therapycambridge (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CB6gUsEjDR3/?igshid=rjtpesdwf561

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Racial trauma is a public health emergency. . #racialtrauma #racialtraumaisreal #racismisreal #antiracism #racismmentalhealth #blacklivesmatter #trauma #ptsdblackpeople #ptsdawareness #trauma https://www.instagram.com/p/CBAj-HajawV/?igshid=2949q1aqf2r9

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If images of Black suffering have left you feeling sad and angry and overwhelmed, here are some things you might do to get a tiny bit of relief. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/g5pgmq/self-care-tips-for-black-people-struggling-from-painful-week?fbclid=IwAR2fteVOj37F4JreRLRacYfYpa2xRBNdsDSGifrjLGX59eBQRF28FpqCKrc . . Amid all this suffering, it can be hard to believe Audre Lorde when she said that caring for yourself is a form of self-preservation and, thus, “an act of political warfare.” But it is, and it matters. If you are feeling sad and overwhelmed and angry right now, here are some things you might do to get a tiny bit of relief. . #blacklivesmatter #blackselfcare #racismtrauma #selfcompassion #racismtraumatizes #racismtrauma #blacklivesmatterselfcare #blacktherapist #blacktherapists #blackfemaletherapists #intersectionaltherapist #intersectionaltherapy https://www.instagram.com/p/CA0tLI3D2mQ/?igshid=4n758l7qu5ab

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I discovered this today and have found it incredibly powerful in understanding responses to childhood trauma. Complex PTSD Emotional Neglect by Pete Walker also provides useful reading which builds on this diagram. Thanks for bringing all of this useful information together! @complextraumahealing . . . . . . . #complexptsd #complextrauma #complextraumaawareness #childhoodabuse #complexptsdrecovery #complexptsdawareness #petewalker #traumarecovery #traumahealing https://www.instagram.com/p/CAV-CeDjte_/?igshid=agravrnn3s42

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Apologies are for showing regret, respect and empathy after causing harm to others, ourselves and the planet. . . . . . . . . . #apologies #cryingisok #askingforhelp #askingforhelpisnotaweakness #sensitivity #compassion #emotionsmatter #emotionsareok #depression #anxiety #traumarecovery #cbtcambridge #cambridgecbt #therapycambridge #cambridgetherapy (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAOOW9jD9eH/?igshid=e7wszgt8783b

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Not everyone adjusts to change and difficult circumstances in the same way. It's not uncommon for people to experience a loss of resilience that makes coping feel difficult. Experiences like intrusive thoughts, stress, self-harm, difficulties with food, feeling 'negative' and chronic illness may feel difficult to manage. It's not unusual for difficult thoughts, feelings and behaviours to surface and feel out of control. For many people there are processes that reflect stages of grief: anxiety, anger, denial, shock, gradual acceptance and ways of adapting to change (note:the process isn't as linear as it sounds!). What matter is making space for the difficulties you are feeling and applying self-care in whatever form that take for you. Guidance that tell us we "should" act in a certain way or information that pathologies' difficult emotions isn't helpful or compassionate. If you feel like you are struggling, it doesn't mean that you are "weak" or "ungrateful", you are a human facing a global crisis which can be considered a collective trauma. (at Cambridge, Cambridgeshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-1Z-BbDfcn/?igshid=mc8js81nwm74