aubri

emergency dispatcher. trying to get thru this life with some humor m8.

[jenny-jinya]

Full and finished short-story of the black cat. Please have a heart for black pets in general, animals do not deserve this kind of hostility. Please give credit when reposting, Thank you :)

[angryfacewritings]

[cried-havoc]

[tigerlilyupinthisbitch]

Tom Hardy laughs like an old wizened prospector finding gold after digging for 15 years.

[marauders4evr]

Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

(Watch how many people don’t get this.)

[marauders4evr]

#raises hand #i dont understand #please explain? 

In order for disabled people to receive any sort of financial assistant for their housing, food, bills, medical supplies, etc., they cannot ever have more than $2,000 of resources to their name. Ever.

It doesn’t matter what it’s for.

You’re saving up for a new wheelchair?

For college?

To put a downpayment on a house?

Hell man, you just happen to budget for once in your life so that you can have some extra money in case something bad happens?

Your benefits immediately get cut off if you’re a cent over $2,000.

And, even worse, you usually end up having to pay back every dollar the government gave you that month.

So say you get $400. If they find out you’re twenty dollars over the resource limit, you have to give them all $400 back and you undergo an investigation of your funds to see if you will continue getting money.

“What if I spend the money that day?”

Doesn’t matter. In fact, from what I can tell, people who do this are actually put under investigation for fraud.

And yes, this system literally kills people.

[locuas642]

Remember when “Guardians of the Galaxy” came out? one of Rocket Racoon’s creators, Bill Mantlo, suffered an accident in 1992 and has irreparable brain damage.

before the movie came out, Marvel gave him an exclusive preview screening. SOme people were upset because they felt if Marvel was really wanted to thank mantlo, they should have donated money to Mantlo’s family.

Bill Mantlo’s brother had to come out and explain: If Marvel gave them monetary aid, Bill Mantlo would lose his financial assistance.

[rootbeergoddess]

That’s so utterly depressing.

[sushinfood]

disgusting

[beeskeepony]

I have friends on welfare who won’t pick up a penny in the street because they’d risk the welfare they struggled to get for 10 years.

[raenboow]

oh look another fucked up thing in this world. let’s just add it to the list. number 63858b

[luvtonique]

My brother has been on California State SSI for autism for the last 10 years, and he absolutely has to (no joke, HAS TO) spend all 720 bucks of his SSI every month, because if he puts it in the bank he risks losing his SSI altogether.

Sometimes, at the end of the month, he has no idea what to do with his money because the whole month went by and he still has 400-ish bucks in his account, and he fucking panics because he doesn’t want to get anywhere near 2,000.

And here’s the funnest part of the story!

One day he did a huge commission on Second Life and wound up earning 1500 bucks off of it, and he told the guy to donate it 500 bucks at a time over 3 months. The guy didn’t want to, and just donated all 1500, which put my brother at 2,036 bucks.

The state IMMEDIATELY (I’m talking less than an hour) called him up to tell him over the phone that they were canceling his SSI, because they noticed he had gone over the 2,000 buck threshold. He had to tell them that someone had made a charitable donation to him and that this was not a common occurrence in any way shape or form, and upon not believing him, my mother had to call to talk to them as his legal caretaker and say basically the same thing until they called off the cancellation of his SSI money.

He also had to cancel his renter’s assistance because it put him to 1,062 a month, so if he went 30 days without spending any money they’d cancel his SSI altogether. Like, none of us in the family have any fucking clue why that regulation is in place and it’s the stupidest shit in human history.

Please, legal side of Tumblr, tell me what positive reasoning this law has?

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Happy 4th of July everyone! This is what the “nation of opportunity” looks like.

[xfirecorex]

There’s something called an ABLE account that can help. If you are on SSI and were diagnosed as disabled before the age of 26 you can apply for an ABLE account that will allow you to save up to $99,000. More people need to know about this!

[friend-o-dorothy]

ABLE accounts are good and so are ARC trusts! Look into your local Arc organization and ask about trusts.

[holy-punks]

I loved this speech about internalized homopobia on NRK’s Skam

[kodaksnacks-blog]

Stepping outside in the mornings

[pioneerman]

Truly

[taylorzrealm]

SIS IM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!!!

[tolkien-shitposting]

[thisisshitposting]

[jvarasuras-hell-deactivated2020]

Fucking LOVE 90s and early 2000s commercials

[knawmsayin]

Reblog every time

[cheaburger]

I swear this was one of the funniest commercials of my childhood and I’m so sad more people don’t talk about it

[deadlyart]

[diam0ndcvlt]

the female body is hardcore as fuck. 

[rebalancem]

Yes it is.

[a-strawbarry-blog]

so is the male body

it’s sad to see so many people like this on this website

[tumbling-torterra]

OP is praising the fact that women hold a fucking infant in their belly the size of a ribcage, get the fuck over yourself for 3.5 seconds.

[radicalfeminisms-blog]

*~*~follow for more fragile male ego~*~*

[shamelesslyunladylike]

The male body is more susceptible to hereditary diseases because of their lack of a second X chromosome. Their testosterone production ages them faster and causes them to die sooner. Their center of gravity is higher because of their tiny little hips and overgrown shoulders, making them easier to topple. Their gonads are placed outside of the body, in a very vulnerable position, because they do not function properly if they get a little bit warmer than usual. They have non-functional nipples, but still enough breast tissue to get cancer. The male body is not hardcore. The male body is to the female body what a shoddy, unstable mod is to a well-estabilished piece of software. Sit the fuck down. And try to not crush your fragile pathetic outside gonads when you do it.

[meme-loving-stuck]

*pounds gavel* OHHHHH OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[mushroomhedgehog]

[410404-deactivated20190912]

[niggazinmoscow]

Beautiful

[unic0rrn-sluts]

I want a relationship where we can get drunk at midnight, just the two of us, and sit up talking and making out all night, and go to the beach at four in the morning. I want someone who’s down for adventure. I want someone who will go camping with me, and boating, and fishing, and travel. I want someone who wants me for life. I want passion that doesn’t burn out.

[ruinedchildhood]

[retrogasm-deactivated20161109]

When they realized women were using their sacks to make clothes for their children, flour mills started using flowered fabric for their sacks. The label was designed to wash out.

[redjeep]

1939 Kansas Wheat…

[roachpatrol]

holy fuck that’s the cutest marketing scheme i’ve ever heard of 

‘buy our flour it’s going to make the nicest bread and the sweetest dress!’ 

yes thank you ok sold

[professorsparklepants]

There was also a chicken feed company that did this. My great-grandmother used to recycle the chicken feed bags to make dresses for my grandmother. That was also a pretty common practice; you can read about it in the Kit series of the American Girl books.

[saladofdoubt]

Okay but think about being a little girl wearing flour-sack dresses because your family can’t afford dress fabrics, and you’re always embarrassed because everyone else knows. And then one day you get to saunter into school showing off your cute little flowery dress. Because a company decided to add something to its product for a reason other than just making money for itself. Isn’t that great?

[squeeful]

They made pretty nice clothes, too, as flour sack fabric has to be fine and tightly woven to prevent the flour from working its way through.

When WWII hit, it amped up and it wasn’t just children wearing them.  Apparel fabrics were rationed, but flour sack fabric wasn’t.  Flour companies started competing to see who can make the prettiest, most appealing flour sack flower print.  If you look at some 40s war-era patterns, they have interesting seam lines designed to utilize the narrower fabric widths of sacks instead of bolt yardage.

[luthienne]

sometimes self-care is putting on a cloak and wandering through the woods at twilight

[ifitaintbaroque]

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

[ifitaintbaroque]

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

[ifitaintbaroque]

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

[ifitaintbaroque]

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

[goatbran-deactivated20190407]

please give us updates

[ifitaintbaroque]

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

[ifitaintbaroque]

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

[antique-scarecrow]

op will not die of natural causes

[ifitaintbaroque]

That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts

[danversnavarro-deactivated20240]

this shit is so funny i’m weak