I’ve Lost The Plot

What are we doin guys? This is a hyperfixation blog, sorry I don’t make the rules

[thoughtcascades]

not to be dramatic but i need a nap, a hug, 20k in cash, and to disappear for 3 months

[charleston-yappa]

Smoll comic that's basically just an excuse to draw them smooching lol

+bonus doodle

[adz]

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now

[dietspam16]

[chaellooo]

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[rebel-hunk-enjoyer]

The worst-sounding piece of advice I've ever been given that does actually work is to frame your health concerns as coming from someone close to you, whom you do not believe. Tell your doctor that you've been having pain and your mom/friend/partner thinks it might be an ovarian cyst, but you don't think so because the pain is much more intense and it has to be something else. This gives your doctor an unseen third party to fight instead of you. They can't just tell this third party, who isn't present, that you pulled a muscle, they now need to prove to this third party that it is not an ovarian cyst.

At which point they will find an ovarian cyst, but they now get whatever fucked up satisfaction they derive out of proving you wrong, because you didn't believe it could a cyst at all, but guess what? They did find a cyst! It's such a good thing you didn't listen to your intuition and came to them to verify your lay diagnosis from that third party! Bonus? Doctor doesn't have to feel like they look stupid in front of a patient, which is really what all this is about. Not your health, why would you think your medical diagnosis is about your health? It's obviously about a doctor's potential ego.

And apparently this works. Apparently you just need to be able to always play 4D chess with your medical professionals in order to find an avenue of advocating for yourself and getting you medical needs met. Isn't that great?

I hate it here, actually.

[shane-bug]

Idiots in love

[prouvairingshasmoved-blog]

les mis + relationships

éponine & gavroche “he mustn’t see me. he would scold me.” “your brother? […] who is your brother?” “that little boy.”

[agent-odessa-over]

Yuna invites Ilya over for lunch. He is tempted to decline, believing it to be motivated by pity, but Shane is in Montreal and the loneliness of rambling around his too-big Ottowa house starts to feel like living in a mausoleum, so he accepts. It is this afternoon that he learns Shane's darkest secret. Darkest in name only, because it turns out to be quite the opposite in appearance.

After lunch they are seated in the den, fondly flipping through old photograph albums, when Ilya spies one that makes him lean over and squint. In the way of disposable camera film from the early aughts, it is grainy and overexposed, but there are no mistaking the warm brown eyes and pouty lips of Shane Hollander, looking blank faced at the camera. What comes as a surprise are the bleached blond ends of his dark hair, styled into crunchy looking spikes with obscene amounts of product.

Ilya emits a noise that can only be described as a squawk. Hand clapped to his mouth, because he barely trusts himself to speak, he chokes out, "What is...this?"

Yuna glances over nonchalantly. "Oh, that. Shane begged me to let him get frosted tips when he was 12."

Ilya will die. He will die right here, gagging on suppressed laughter, and Yuna will be forced to clean the mess of his remains off the berber carpet.

"I think he was trying to emulate some boy band he was obsessed with then. NSYNC maybe? I thought it was a bad idea, but David convinced me to let him try it out. Shane was going through a moody period, and he thought it might help."

"And-" Ilya squeaks in way too high a pitch, then clears his throat. "Ahem. And did it?"

Yuna thinks. "Hard to say. God, he was a bit of a bitchy preteen." She chuckles. "He had a poster of Lance Bass taped to his closet door. In hindsight, I should have guessed the gay thing much earlier."

Ilya can no longer contain his laughter. He doubles over with it, waving his hand and wheezing, "Sorry, sorry." He wipes tears from his eyes. "I can have this picture?"

Yuna shrugs. "Sure. The poster is probably still upstairs in his closet, if you want that, too. I've been meaning to clear it out-"

Ilya just stares at Yuna in wide eyed wonder. "Yes. I want." He dashes up the stairs so fast he nearly trips.

[quix5gg]

happy pride month especially to them

[livinglavidalesbian]

big fan of the hollanov "adopts" a rookie thing. idk i just feel like if there was a rookie coming to the centaurs from russia, and he has the abusive-family-in-russia problems and the needs-to-be-the-best problems (because of worsening foreign perception of russia) and ilya immediately takes him under his wing and shane takes a while longer because he doesn't really get connected to his teammates like that, but he like overhears a quiet conversation between them in russian that they had in the locker room and it's something about the kid's parents coming to america to watch him play, and shane kinda realizes why ilya cares about this kid so much and he never really says anything to the kid emotionally but he stands near him and takes the blows for being an asshole for him, saying "oh we have practice he can't have dinner with you," and eventually the kid gets checked unfairly and everyone's like oh ilya's gonna WHOOP the other guy and no. shane goes to whoop him while ilya makes sure he's okay. does this make sense

[dontgetgoalied]

trevor zegras is always in someone’s lap

don’t pull out a chair for him though, he’s EXACTLY where he wants to be

[memyselfandi13531]

if hollanov is going to have a hockey playing daughter i need her to be a Hockey Player and by that i mean a BIG FUCKING DYKE OKAY. i need her to be a big ass baby like her dad shane hollander and grow up to be a complete tomboy OKAY. she needs to be beating the shit out of the boys in her grade who are mean to other girls. she needs to grow up loving hockey like her dads and visiting her "uncles" at centaurs games OKAY. i need her to watch ONE women's hockey game when she's like 6 and decide (like her dad) that she was going to do that as a job. i need her ass to be fucking 6'2 (or like 190 cm idc) with some BIG ass muscles and stealing her dads clothes and idc what position she plays but she going to be GOOD AT IT. and she's going to flirt with girls like her papa and half the girls on her team are going to have a crush on her. did i make this all up in my head? maybe but i still believe in it

[shrekhollander]

Ilya: *making bicep curls behind Shane as Shane is doing weighted squats, he had already lost count on how many reps he´s done because he can´t stop looking at his husband´s ass*

Shane: How many reps are you doing baby?

Ilya: Yes.

[faroucheflowers]

Happy Barricade Day!

Had to scramble to get this done in time @barricadeday

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitter (;)/?) pride edition

[shrekhollander]

Shane and Ilya´s 6 year old daughter has to make a family tree for her class. llya is feeling down about not having pictures of his mother for her to put in, and then he sees she draws her with a halo over her head 😇 and she writes "grandma Irina, no photo but she looks like me, I have her eyes and her name, she looks after me." Ilya cries.

(She then also prints a dinosaur and adds it to the tree, like on the top of the tree)

Shane: who is this, baby?

Baby Irina: Uncle Scott :) *Ilya loses it*

[drarry]

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

[drarry]

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones

[broken-horn-of-equius]