I’ve Lost The Plot

What are we doin guys? This is a hyperfixation blog, sorry I don’t make the rules

[thoughtcascades]

not to be dramatic but i need a nap, a hug, 20k in cash, and to disappear for 3 months

[circadianaa]

you’re laughing. they’re horrifically misinterpreting my favorite character’s personality and you’re laughing

[slimetony]

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits of of mountainsides. They crave that mineral.

[sailor--spoon]

Why is this back on my dash in 2018

[conqueringthenoodle]

Thank god this is back on my dash in 2018

[jewelcoatfish]

shane (a little tipsy) being cornered by a few fans at a bar one night and they ask him what’s the best thing about coming out, expecting him to say something motivating like self-expression and liberation and shane just goes

“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”

and the whole of non bigot hockey twt just fucking crash out and montreal metros and crowell gets burned at the stake

[toapoet]

These tags are my fave

[jellyfishforest135]

Activated them like sleeper agents

[notahorseindisguise]

WOAH just saw spiderman eating pizza on a roof

[notahorseindisguise]

oh shit he ate the whole thing . he just like me frfr

[notahorseindisguise]

spiderman just left the pizza box on the roof but then came back a minute later and clearly felt bad for littering so now hes swinging through downtown holding an empty pizza box

[notahorseindisguise]

hes hit a street light

[notahorseindisguise]

he's swinging away now clearly very embarrassed and he thinks nobody saw it. i saw you spiderman

[nycswebhead]

fuck

[projectorthus]

Grace sends this off as a "fuck you" to Stratt and unintentionally eases 40+ years of horrific guilt.

(40+ factoring in the Hail Mary mission, then the time it would take to get back to Erid and the time it would take for the message to get to Earth. Probably closer to 50+ actually).

(I do think Stratt felt bad. She did a lot of terrible things to save the planet, and obviously felt guilt for sending Grace off. I imagine the time waiting to hear back from the Hail Mary was torture for everyone, but she essentially sent three people off to their deaths, one unwillingly. Hearing that Grace made it out alive would be a huge weight off her shoulders.)

[peytonelizabethsawyerjournal]

HAI

just wanted to say

the odyssey by Nolan was peak

thats it, thats the post.

[guiltyiove]

Nobody should have to experience googling their disorder for help and support and exclusively find articles about how neurotypical people can “deal with them”

[singlerestaurantorder]

[depsidase]

[adultlikers]

[porksweats]

e me a mail

[fortooate]

make the attachment a pic of a snail

[jumpingjacktrash]

give me two gifs

of critters in clover

[nuclearcarrots]

then photoshop them on the CLIIIIIIIFFS OF DOVER

[laurasinele]

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

[folklorelei42]

⚠️THE ODYSSEY SPOILERS⚠️

the fact that either as a hallucination-type manifestation of his guilt or athena herself, the goddess of wisdom and strategy, chose to wear the face of a young girl who was needlessly killed due to a winning strategy is one of the best choices in the adaptation imo

[kimberellaroo]

Hollanov kid who is uninterested in hockey, but instead becomes a theatre kid. And Ilya and Shane are supportive of course, but they really don't get how they've ended up with a theatre kid, where did THAT come from, until Yuna laughs and points out that it's the perfect blend of Shane's perfectionism, drive and intensity in practice with Ilya's confidence and flair for dramatics

[limpwristedrose]

Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.

And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.

You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho

If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.

and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it

[i-fear-gritty]

i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)

everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell

[finny-red]

Canada’s Power Couple

[anya-hollander-rozanova]

Ok but Cliff Marlow somehow managing to get into Ilya's phone after the Tunameltdown in the middle of the Hollandry crashout, and getting Montreal Jane's number.

The entire Boston roster piling behind Marly as he types, trying to decide what to say that could save them because their captain has been possessed by the spirit or a soviet military trainer with knife shoes and if they are forced to make double bagskates again they will either puke or die or both.

So Shane Hollander wakes up one day to a message from an unknown number like "Hello Miss Jane ma'am this is Clifford Marlow I don't know if you have heard of me I am sorry to be a bother I'm just wondering if you could give my good friend Ilya another chance, I promise that whatever he did he won't do again, we will help we will teach him to cook and clean and do laundry and he will cook you the best sandwiches ever if you only give him a chance only if you want of course if it's not too much of a bother Miss Jane please and thank you" and he goes through the seven stages of grief in like 4 seconds before it's even 7am. They manage to add the link to a very big spa gift card that they all chipped in to buy because at that point they're desperate.