Plain Pasta Is Good Pasta

I’m not picky. ‘Why do you only order chicken fingers.’ ‘You don’t know what you’re missing.’ Yes I do. 24 |A.R.F.I.D.

[manicorcishdreamgirl]

A hill i will die standing on is that picky eaters deserve respect and accommodation and to eat food they enjoy too. Sensory issues, disliked flavors, allergies, intolerances, cultural differences, religious restrictions, moral or political choices, they all deserve to be given consideration if you know you're gonna be cooking for them and to not be excluded from the fundamental right to food & access to the many important social bonding acitivities centered around food

[mikkeneko]

Lotta people in the notes going "well I'll respect picky eaters if they have a Real Actual Good Reason like allergies/autism/religious exemptions/allergies again but only if they're life threatening, but not if they're just being fussy little princesses for no good reason"

This is the same framework btw as "people need to be more tolerant of harmless weirdness, with or without an autism diagnosis." You don't know what's behind a person's food aversions; sometimes even that person doesn't know what's really behind their food aversions. Refusing to respect a person's food preferences unless it comes with an Official Medical Label attached is a setup for constantly intruding on the boundaries of people with arfid, allergies, religious restrictions etc. until someone gets hurt, and then claiming "well I didn't know! I thought they were just being picky for no reason!"

[alarajrogers]

Also, I think "absolutely hates this, finds it disgusting and repulsive" is a good reason for not eating a food.

[astriiformes]

Incredible book alert for you all, since I know how many of my friends and followers are also neurodivergent. I've been requesting that our local library buy more ADHD and autism-friendly cookbooks aimed at adults, in an effort to find one that might help me with fixing my extremely broken relationship with food. And for a while it was a bit demoralizing because a lot of them are more recipe-focused, so I'd read them and go "Wow, this book is aimed at people like me and I can't eat any of this stuff, I must be even more broken than I thought"

Enter "How to Eat Well for Adults With ADHD" by Rebecca King.

I am about to sound like a sponsored ad, but this book is absolutely incredible. It's written by a nutritionist with ADHD, and does include some recipes, but they only make up a part of the third section of the book. The rest of it is focused on practical, broadly applicable advice for neurodivergent folks (and frankly, other disabled people) on unlearning internalized ableism around food, how to best organize your kitchen and meal plan (and what to do when meal plans fail), the connections between food and dopamine and how best to use food for stimulation in a healthy way, how hyperfocus and time blindness can get in the way of eating well, how to make sure you're eating enough while on stimulants, the fact that many ADHD people also have ARFID (and the book even emphasizes that ARFID is an eating disorder, not just "picky eating"!!), and takes the strong stance that we should do away with the idea of "picky eaters" altogether in favor of a more compassionate stance on people's complicated relationships with food and eating.

It is strongly anti-diet culture while still emphasizing that good nutrition is important. It has extremely specific tips that make my ADHD heart sing a little, like how best to store specific vegetables so they last the maximum amount of time in your fridge (since we are all very good at forgetting they are there) and what tools can make doing the dishes more manageable. And perhaps most importantly, as someone with severe sensory sensitivities and some very real trauma from having them ignored as a kid and being shamed for them, it made me cry a little bit with how understanding and compassionate it is.

Anyway. I am going to buy a copy of my own immediately, and I cannot recommend it enough. If you, like me, are trying to unfuck your eating habits and neat someone to hold your hand a little in the process -- while still making you feel like an adult, and still offering actionable tips along the way -- this book could be a lifesaver.

(And for those of you who use Instagram, the author has an account that's equally helpful and affirming over there, too, that I followed immediately, @/adhd.nutritionist)

[transman-badass]

I can't do much but maybe this will interest someone. This cookbook is by a classically trained autistic chef, made for people with sensory issues. It's sold 1/6th of its initial run because apparently no one wants to have an autistic person interviewed on TV.

Apparently it's also very funny.

Color Taste Texture by Matthew Broberg-Moffitt: 9780593538593 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books

An accessible family cookbook that offers solutions rather than tricks to empower the food-averse, autistic, and picky eater, with 46 recipe

Spread this around! I bet someone here can use this.

[reasonsforhope]

More info from the link:

"An accessible family cookbook that offers solutions rather than tricks to empower the food-averse, autistic, and picky eater, with 46 recipes. This much-needed cookbook combines tips and techniques with a dash of understanding about food aversion and how to help your kids—and yourself—cook beautiful meals in an empowering way, and is a groundbreaking resource for anyone who has ever been called “picky” or “discerning.” Learn how to alter the texture or taste profile of a dish, or even fit it within a specific palette with a unique color-coded guide. Delicious, nutritious, and easily tailored recipes (including for gluten-free and vegan eaters) include:

the perfect smashed cheeseburger

Italian sausage and potato soup

the best omelet

stuffed focaccia 

chocolate pinwheels

and dozens more

Professional chef Matthew Broberg-Moffitt’s advice is broken down by category (The Five Tastes, Texture, Color, Aroma, Presentation, and Plating) in order to address each and every aspect of food aversion, and a Food Preference Profile and Worksheet is included for you and your child to quickly identify and summarize their preferences. Instead of leading to mistrust by disguising or slipping in foods your kids don’t want to eat, this cookbook supports caretakers in a way that maintains a healthy relationship with food, and a joyful, less stressful experience around the table."

[hoofpeet]

[roadhogsbigbelly]

"being autistic does not excuse being a picky eater" discourse frustrates me alot cause like. they're right that not eating vegetables is bad for you, or that only being able to eat chicken nuggets is going to limit you alot in life, but they say this like KNOWING that it's not healthy is suddenly gonna make the autism less disabling, like some disabled people are go to continue to have health issues their entire life due to their disabilities. like it's also important to have good hygiene or have financial independence, but alot of autistic people can't bathe or hold down a job due to their autism, i'm not sure why some people act like EVERY autistic person should be able to power through that, when it's different for everyone.

[genderkoolaid]

as someone with ARFID i really couldn't care less about the distinction between "picky eaters" and "genuine eating issues." if you are an asshole to someone you see as "just picky" i will never, ever trust you. i've lived through the trauma of being shamed and humiliated for my eating needs.

frankly i think a LOT of "picky eaters" have some kind of sensory problems– autistic or allistic– and shame is never useful. i don't fucking care how annoying you think we are. if you've never lived through the humiliation of being the only one not eating at a dinner table, or having to choke down something disgusting you already know you hate because other people insist you don't know your own body, or getting a hunger migraine in a house full of food because none of its edible to you? you don't understand how awful it is to have food issues.

whenever i see people draw this distinction between being "just a picky eater" and "having a real problem" all i think is, who does this serve? most people don't even know ARFID exists. there are so many undiagnosed autistics, or just people with a variety of issues that aren't officially diagnosed. why do we need a medical label in order to be treated with respect and compassion? why did i need to be diagnosed as autistic for my family to realize the abuse they put me through for years because of my eating habits?

it's such an easy habit for neglected groups to fall into– the idea that a medical diagnosis can save us. that by appealing to the medical/psychiatric industry, we can be protected from abuse and given basic respect and resources. but the truth is that it should never have come to this in the first place. dignity doesn't come from an abled doctor telling you that there's a medical reason for your symptoms. it comes from being a person. once you accept that you need a Good Reason to have your needs respected, you doom yourself to neglecting and abusing those who have your same struggles because they aren't lucky enough to access medical recognition.

tl;dr solidarity with all "picky eaters" stop guilting people for having varying food needs, if we make you irrationally angry that's YOUR problem not ours, and abolish "children's menus" & replace them with simple-food menus for people of all ages

[headspace-hotel]

I saw the post again where the OP is like "I don't care if you're autistic, you have to eat vegetables"

Sometimes a disability means you can't do a thing...That is what disability...Means.............

If you are an autistic person who sits around being judgmental and condescending toward every autistic person more disabled than you, you are a tar pit

[headspace-hotel]

what is up with all the self-proclaimed autistic people who can't even imagine an autistic person that is like...unable to do a thing. do u think disability is when you complain more

But seriously, I have a mild form of autism-related food aversion, and whenever a texture or taste triggers it, I just start heaving and gagging. I get heart palpitations from gritting my teeth and straining to keep from throwing up. It is just...not something I can control. Many other autistic people have much more severe sensory issues with food.

lowering my overall level of chronic overwhelm has helped me, but most foods that triggered this response when i was a kid still do that. I don't think i've ever been able to fully transition an "un-safe"food into a "safe" food. (It's happened with a few things, but some foods I previously liked have become randomly disgusting too...so it's kind of arbitrary.)

I eat a more varied diet now almost entirely because i've experimented with a lot of foods that i wasn't exposed to growing up and foods from other cultures.

my best advice if you have a hard time with vegetables is to...try different vegetables. stop wasting your time with stuff you already know you hate. you might have to go to a specialty grocery, farmer's market, or grow them yourself, but there are so many species and cultivars out there that have a totally different flavor and texture than the stuff that triggers you, and there is probably SOMETHING out there SOMEWHERE that will be The One.

the world will not end if you never learn to eat carrots and broccoli. there are thousands of vegetables that aren't carrots and broccoli

failing that, people literally do survive without eating anything culinarily considered a "vegetable." sure it's not ideal but loads of people with medical conditions severely restricting what they eat are living full and thriving lives. we have the technology. as a species we have decided your life has value. it will be okay

[headspace-hotel]

I saw the post again where the OP is like "I don't care if you're autistic, you have to eat vegetables"

Sometimes a disability means you can't do a thing...That is what disability...Means.............

If you are an autistic person who sits around being judgmental and condescending toward every autistic person more disabled than you, you are a tar pit

[solarbiomechanist]

Yeah, "you must" is one of the worst things to do around restrictive/avoidance/fearful food related symptoms, whatever the source.

At the height of my symptoms, saying anything along the lines of "I don't care about (you), you still have to eat this" would be a great way to make it so that if I could manage to take a bite, I'd immediately reflexively, uncontrollably gag like I'd tried to swallow something rotten. Not fun! Even worse when I had to hide what was happening to me because "it's rude to not eat the food."

If you love someone with ARFID symptoms, if you care about them at all, or even if you don't know they have trouble with food, even just to be decent to another human being, offer things neutrally, and accept the word "no".

"Would you like to try a bite?"

"No"

"Alrighty, let me know if you want more of another thing."

It's that simple.

[autistichalsin]

My hot take for this week that most likely very few people are ready to hear: being a "picky eater" is almost never the result of choices or being a "spoiled brat." Instead it's instead almost always the result of one or more of the following:

Physical issues such as IBS, allergy, pregnancy, or post-COVID dysfunction

Autism

ARFID

Other psychological issues

Or bad pasts related to certain foods in question (I.E. growing up with parents who had a "finish everything on your plate or you eat it the next morning for breakfast" rule)

Further, even if it is someone just not liking things "because", it still isn't anyone's place to judge it, even if you are living with them and think it's "difficult" or "embarrassing".

I have witnessed far more people with legitimate complaints get written off as ungrateful picky eaters than I ever have seen actual picky eaters who mistreat others or act entitled in any way. Quite the opposite, most picky eaters I know trip over themselves to apologize for their issues and explain it to others, and don't judge those with adventurous palettes. It's cool and trendy to hate picky eaters but it's another case where the meme version of a nightmare picky eater is just massively distorted from what a real "picky eater" actually is.

[identitty-dickruption]

the thing about ARFID (or, at least, my presentation of it) is that my brain will refuse to interpret anything other than my safe foods as food. sometimes asking me to eat something off my list of foods would be the same as asking you to eat a shoe. it’s probably technically possible, but your entire body will resist eating it and it will make you distressed and then quite sick. it’s not “becoming a picky eater when I’m stressed”, it’s “stress removes my ability to see all foods as food”

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

What people don't get about ARFID (medically restrictive picky eating if you're ableist) is how delicious things can look or smell and how you can crave something but know that it has some element that hits a sensory issue so intense that you would gag, choke, or vomit if you tried to eat it despite every part of you lusting for that thing

And we can make our own substitutions within those realms but people get real mean the moment you do food "wrong" in front of them. Publicly humiliating and starving children over this then mocking adults who never had their autism Cured and also now have complex PTSD surrounding food. Haha adult who can't eat a food group such a child

[ingridverse]

Do not punish the behaviour you want to see

I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?

But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize,  snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?

Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)

Or any sentence containing the word “finally”. 

If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.

Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

[redcurlzbychoice]

Encouragement and acknowledgment are so much more effective than punishment.

[ingridverse]

[level1cleric]

i really appreciate this bit here. senshi is sensitive to izutsumi's eating habits, and rather than admonishing her or punishing her, senshi works to make sure she's fed in a way that aligns with her needs, even if those needs are just variety in this case. it really shows how much senshi is dedicated to making sure his group is fed and likes the food they're eating, taste being just as important as nutrition, by recognizing their likes, dislikes, and limits

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

people are absolutely EVIL about the boundaries of “picky eaters”. no, they do not have to try it. yes, they can know they don’t like it without having eaten it before. no, they probably have not suddenly grown a taste for the food they’ve said they hate. no, they probably are not going to like it in the Special Way This One Place Cooks It. yes, you are being a bad friend if you try to “trick” them into eating it anyway

[sepulchritude]

Things that actually help picky eaters try new things:

“Do you want to try this off of my plate?”

“It’s made of [ingredients], I think you’d like [x part]”

“If you want to see if you like [x food], this is a pretty good representation of it”

“You won’t like this, it tastes like [description]. Do you want to try it for fun?”

“Do you remember trying/have you ever tried [x food]? This is like that, but [differences]”

“I think you’d like the taste of this, but the texture is iffy. It’s [description]”

Make sure there’s other food they can eat if they don’t like the new one

And most importantly, build trust with that person by listening to them, showing that you take their concerns into account, and being cool if the answer is no. No is always an option. This isn’t something you do once, it’s a pattern you have to stick to if you want to establish that you are a safe person when it comes to food stuff

Basically: offer the food, explain what’s in it and why you think it’s worth trying, and then be cool with the answer you get. No pressure, no trickery, just be straight up with people

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

God just saw a long fucking post about how you MUST eat veggies "I used to be a picky eater with autism too" and the entire post was obvious information about the textures of foods that are incredibly condescending to a 32 year old with ARFID who loves to cook.

Also ARFID and sensory issues aren't "picky eating". Real advice if you have sensory issues or any dietary issue that restricts your nutrition? Take a good supplement. I've been on fucking prenatal supplements for ages.

It's just fucked up when people think they understand how your disability functions because they are also autistic as if two different autistic people can't be obsessed with fireworks or repulsed by them. Your food sensitivites might not have been based in the same things, like sensitivity to sulfur, which is my biggest food restriction personally and was treated as selfish stubborn pickiness my entire life, compounding the sensory issues with complex trauma from starvation, social isolation, and verbal abuse.

Take a goddamn supplement or two. THAT is better than nothing. Stop holding shit up to disabled people like "if you don't get past parts of your disability you're going to DIE." Suggest supplement you fucks. There are disabled people who literally rely on tube feeding and formulas instead of solid food and you're gonna sit here and tell autistic people they're going to die if they can't eat something? Fuck off

[rathockey]

i need to eat a food. none of the food in the house is The Right Food. what is the right food? only god knows. and we're not on speaking terms right now.

[spellinwaiting]

if you want to support autistic people you really do need to shut up about picky eaters. sorry

[spellinwaiting]

‘but this adult doesnt eat vegetables! thats so immature!’ ok so explain to me how this affects you at all. get over it perhaps