[clockitt]

I think its great how theo spent all of season(s) 5 manipulating and seducing everyone to get his way but its so clear that the only person he truly desired totally and carnally was scott. But he couldn't be scott and have scott so scott had to die.

[ivy-saurs]

randomly remembered this tweet and had to stop myself from bursting out laughing

[girlmuppet]

Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

yeah hang on

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

ignore the title of this google doc because it's a long story but it's a really solid recipe for southwest chicken alfredo

this is a vegetarian potato curry recipe that's about 75% spices; once you get the potatoes in there you can really do whatever you want with it

this is literally just pasta, broccoli, and cheese babey and you can live off that shit for DAYS it makes such a big portion

bro this spinach/pesto/3 cheese flatbread is so fucking tasty bro

also you can make the flatbread yourself it's super quick!!

oh hey I'm eating this white chickpea chili right now, much like the curry it's mostly spices and you can do p much do whatever you want with it

don't let the name fool you these potatoes are delicious any time. not just breakfast.

this is slightly more than five ingredient when you add them together but if you have time and really wanna fuckin treat yourself I recommend these chicken strips + this cornbread + either these potatoes or these buttered veggies on the side.

[dragonforsale]

These are my two favorite comfort foods. They're very easy to make and dont take long to cook.

Garlic butter rice

Orzo mac and cheese (comes out a little bit soupy)

[shadowblinder]

this recipe for gogumabap (sweet potato and rice) saved my life when i couldn't eat hardly anything for a long time. the recipe itself calls for a heavy bottomed pot but you can absolutely use a rice cooker and put the rice and diced sweet potato in together and just let the machine do its thing

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

If you have a crockpot, I do a really good pulled pork carnitas that is:

Pork - any cut boneless

Onions- chopped anyway you like

Orange juice - about one cup (you can use about 2 tablespoons of the condensed frozen stuff if you have it)

Root beer, pepsi, or other cola soda - about one cup

Preferred chili mix seasoning - 1-2 packets depending on how intense you like your flavoring and how much pork you put in

Garlic - as much as you wanna, specifically smashed not cut

Canned or frozen corn - to your preference

Dump all that into your crockpot in the morning (or the night before) and let it run on low until dinner. Cook some rice if you feel like it, or just serve over tortillas.

[anarchblr]

bro WTF, I wanna try this just for the sheer shit of it

[3000s]

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

[3000s]

- mockup of results from my new search engine called "Google OCD"

[number-one-oracle]

i’m at the boy kisser police detective competition and it’s jake peralta vs shawn spencer

[just-in-cays]

in the middle of crying for no reason i was interrupted by the sounds of one of my neighbors blasting "shadow the hedgehog pissed on my fucking wife" so loud it echoed around the courtyard outside

[notahorseindisguise]

hey, sex pervert question: do you ever think about me even when im not present

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[evilwizard]

I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU

[cowboybarbaryn]

Thank you Evil Wizard, it’s good to know someone has our backs

[evilwizard]

IN A SCARY WAY

[queenofskys5]

Thank you Evil Wizard, finally someone to scare away the creeps!

[evilwizard]

I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION

[sufjansjoy]

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[sufjansjoy]

wow

[quietwingsinthesky]

look, i work at a morgue, i get to see every day how withered and small bodies can get when someone was sick. it’s awful. do you know how bone-thin a leg can get. or how a stomach really looks beneath the ribs when it’s wasted away. the way people’s eyes and cheeks press in to their skull like they’re clinging on for dear life. they died like that, and you want to try and sell me a lie, a pill, a miracle cure that’ll make me live in that state? that’ll make my friends look like that, my family, the people i love? to see corpses in them?

this job makes me appreciate all the more bodies lived in and well-loved. please eat that second serving. please give yourself treats as much as you want. life is not long enough to suffer through it. you’ll be plenty skinny when you’re dead.

[crippled-peeper]

if your disability came from something you did voluntarily, like driving a car, or having sex, or doing BMX stunts, then guess what???

you deserve respect. you deserve to have your needs met. you deserve to live

[vitariesocks]

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

[vitariesocks]

2 pics. no caption

[gay-lotus]

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i tried to microwave a popsicle

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[failchild]

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

"Trans people deserve rights and bodily autonomy because they aren't mentally ill-" hey but what if mentally ill people deserve rights and bodily autonomy too have you considered that because you should