DNI if you're bereaved

accepting gimmick suggestions. trying to increase my political clout by growing on this platform (header image by Michael Divine)

[braillesubtitles]

[spreadassholesdotorg]

[orcboxer]

Sadam HATE this hole

[totally-a-wizard]

This is what happens when a cave diver DOESN'T have a young wife, two kids, and a third child on the way back home.

[orcboxer]

i have GOT to get back to my nothing

[3000s]

dreamt that walmart was doing some kind of sale where they partnered with a company called "freevaginaphotos.com" and when i bought something they also printed out a picture of someones vagina and gave it to me

[pegasuswyvern9]

you do not get to destroy other peoples bodies

[3000s]

thank you for reminding me, i was about to destroy someones body until i saw this

[swamp-spirit]

My dog's really a study in Buddhism. He can see my muffin wrapper and he's miserable. Crying. He needs to eat my muffin wrapper so bad.

I get up and throw it away. He forgets about it immediately and happily goes to sleep.

You are not sad because you do not have a muffin wrapper, my beautiful boy, you are sad because you want the muffin wrapper.

[irreparableinnocence]

I always refer to one of my cats as my Lacanian kitty. She will meow incredibly insistently for something, and once it is given to her, she will look at it briefly, decide she dgaf, and continue to demand something. Nothing existing could ever satisfy her desire because it is a metonymic manifestation of a lack that is inherent to the structure of her being, she is not asking for my sandwich, she is asking for something else via sandwich, and once proven that the sandwich isn't that something else she will desire another thing in the same vain hope.

[bewbin]

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

[2006-honda-civic]

can i fucking help you?

[justcatposts]

My 11-month male cat lets my foster kittens nurse on him.

(Source)

[nitewrighter]

[frankierohugejorts]

im sorry these are the funniest tags ive ever seen

[bitterdatura]

[anais-ninja-bitch]

now THIS is a baroque painting. mannerist even.

[kristina100000]

mozzarella and cheddar when i open my fridge and its not their time to be added to a fuckalicious grilled cheese sandwich

[calebwittebane]

ok everyone time to start laying eggs

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[calebwittebane]

time to start laying eggs, frightening ghoul

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[the-frightening-ghoul-jr]

‎

[calebwittebane]

this is how blogging can have a huge impact on the lives of people and ghouls

[thedogeveryonehates]

new fav video just dropped

[gravityjunior]

Starting a collection

[johnnysmissingass-deactivated20]

😭😭😭

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

793.85

card tricks

[kaida427]

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

611.642

the prepuce (aka foreskin)

is a simple "please" too much to ask?

[kaida427]

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

179.92

forgiveness

[fleshdyke]

the funniest thing abt hannibal fans on this site is the way ppl will post screenshots from the show and be like "HIS SLIME 😍😍😍" and the picture is mads mikkelsen looking like this

[fleshdyke]

that is supposed to say smile.

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-the-bat]

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

[cronenburger]

[animentality]

[achievement-hunter]

[textandimageenjoyer]

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry... her belly grumbling could wake the dead!

follow for more yo mama facts

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry... the grumbling of her belly could wake anyone from even the deepest slumber!

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry... a grumble of her belly could wake skeletons, dracula, and more!

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry... when her belly grumbled, frankenstein sat up and went "what was that sound?"

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry... the grumbling of her empty belly caused quite a stir!

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry on an airplane... her belly grumbles were mistaken for turbulence, and the other passengers left posthaste!

[blemgoid]

My dearest companion,

It is with utmost urgency that I commit to paper an occurrence so singular that I fear it may strain your credulity. I trust this message finds you in sound health and undisturbed repose, for I cannot say the same of those unfortunate enough to dwell within the vicinity of yo esteemed mama.

Having, by circumstances too tedious to recount, passed the evening beneath her roof, I was shortly after midnight awakened by a most dreadful and prolonged rumbling, so profound in its depth that I mistook it first for distant cannonade, then for an earthquake, and finally for the Last Trump itself. Imagine my astonishment upon discovering the disturbance emanated not from Heaven or the deepest bowels of Hell, but from the singularly vacant stomach of yo good mama.

The tumult was of such prodigious force that every sleeper in the household sprang from his bed in confusion. Even the old groundskeeper, who I know for a fact has slept through thunder-bolts and musket fire alike, emerged from his shack demanding to know who had sounded the alarm.

I entreat you, dear friend, to prevail upon yo mama to partake of a modest supper before retiring, lest her entire estate be compelled to awaken at the command of her insatiable stomach.

I remain, with every sentiment of esteem,

Your most obedient and humble servant,

yo mama facts

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry... the grumbling of her empty belly can be heard from very far away!

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry... the grumbling of her empty belly once set off an earthquake detector!

[blemgoid]

yo mama so hungry at sea... her belly grumbling can be heard by the fishes whales sharks and amphibiens under the water!