Heinz Has No Chlorophyll (loser shit)

Dwampyverse sideblog of the artist citrighost

[breadbowlhottub]

[cometcrystal]

out of the backyard gang baljeet is one of the worst to make into a coffee table. ferb would also be pretty bad. phineas and isabella would be mid because they have those bigass heads but the skinny bodies. might be worse than baljeet and ferb if you're a person who cares about symmetry. buford would objectively make the best coffee table because his silhouette has the most evenly-spaced surface area. now if you wanna talk about pnf characters in general i think pet mode perry would be the best coffee table out of all of them

[symbolblue]

love this kinda post where you have to have seen a different specific post for it to make any sense at all

[breadbowlhottub]

Zoomies

[breadbowlhottub]

It’s like pissing into an oven glove, you’re in the dark

[breadbowlhottub]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

my sons ranked from most to least hard to love

[userfish]

just caught my wife doing something truly bewildering to me

do you read fic

on my laptop and phone

only on my phone

only on my laptop

much more nuanced than you know op (tags)

bald/doesn’t read fic

Voting ended onMay 17

[11thsense]

Those fanfic type stories people write where the plot is like “I picked up a stray cat off the street and it turned into a sexy man?!” R so funny cause if I found a cute cat and spent a week taking care of it and being like aw ur my baby now just for that cat to turn into a man that shit would piss me clean off…I might even kill him

[anistarrose]

when taking in a redeemed villain, it's important to give them lots of monologuing opportunities. a few will eventually settle out of that habit, but for the vast majority, it continues to be their most important social behavior, and even a major form of stress relief. it's also completely harmless, unlike some other behaviors that they may struggle to drop, so be sure to encourage them by presenting them with either large audiences (digital is ok — they love to be on screens), or potentially, a more intimate, one-on-one monologuing opportunity with a trusted confidant, depending on their prior villainous preferences. they may show signs of aggression during their monologue, but remember that it's just a performance — and if you play along in kind, your redeemed villain will develop a burning desire to protect you at any cost before you know it <3

[aquaticjazstar]

I’m imagining Phineas finding out that Perry’s intelligent (not necessarily about the secret agent thing, given they already did that) by catching him doing something mundane.

Like- imagine he goes downstairs for a glass of water and finds Perry making himself a grilled cheese or something. He’s not wearing the hat so his cover isn’t blown, but he’s supposed to be the dumb housepet yet here he is, making a grilled cheese.

So the next morning, Phineas and Perry are just eyeing eachother, and Perry is just internally panicking like “how much does he know??? Surely he’s figured out my identity by now… Monogram can NOT find out about this” meanwhile Phineas is just like “he could make his own food??? what else can he do???” And like there’s this tension that never gets resolved because they’re both too nervous to bring it up.

Everyone around them knows something is up, but Perry can’t talk and Phineas isn’t sure if anyone would believe him. He’s even starting to doubt that what he saw was real… but sometimes… he’ll stare at Perry, and wonder if he could have been cleaning his own litterbox this whole time.

[breadbowlhottub]

If phineas found out he would be freaked out because for all the amazing stuff he does he is just as bound by routine and what he finds normal as Candace is, his view of it is just. A lot more accepting of his own level of crazy. He is just as set in his views of what the world can do and what people can do!! And Perry being sentient is so far outside it that it would be Wrong and Scary and freak him out and the mundaneness of it would also be like. A lot for his poor lil kid brain to deal with.

Ferb would silently watch him make it, nod at him when they make eye contact, and a week later mention to Phineas in his quiet serious way “I think we should feed Perry more cheese” and phineas would accept that because it’s Normal that ferb suggests such things. Ferb would not share the reason he suggests that. He would also not think of the litter box because his view of normal behaviours and acceptance of it would go well, clearly he can make a cheese toastie, but this is this and that is that.

[ninjaskillznstuff2]

I love the miscommunication trope potential around perry not realizing that heinz returned to evil purely or in part because he misses him, seeing his serial dating and his attempts to find love and approval and acceptance from anyone but him, and getting so frustrated he resorts to drastic measures to get his attention. take more side missions where he fights other villains. call in lila lolliberry for a team-up for no reason.

he’s sullen and broody when he’s mad I wanna see him crash out.

[breadbowlhottub]

when ur government assigned nerd goes back to his old hobbies and keeps dating around and you know you have no right to be mad because theres no label on what’s going on between you and you’ve deliberately tried to hold yourself distant as a form of professionalism but also you want to fuck that middle aged ugly dilf so bad and your only coping mechanism is throwing yourself further into work and yet he somehow still doesnt get your hints (note: hints may or may not exist)

[69-toojay]

My favourite genre of gay people is "They didn't have bdsm sex onscreen but, bdsm elements are always lurking in the corner and haunting the narrative through thinly veiled visual metaphorical implication."

[heedra]

im adopting the ‘dark jock’ aesthetic. i’m going to lurk around crumbling old institute buildings in a black tanktop with a skull on it and a backwards ballcap and i’m going to get dark academia people to write my essays for me while i call them nerds and doofuses and prep for the big dark football game

[screenshotsofdespair]

[ziyingchenczy]

Hi I made THE animation meme

(Very late)

[were--ralph]

normalize milking someone's grandfather

[tinyplanetss]

rewatched the crossover special for the first time in a while. to my detriment. what do you mean the moment cavendish discovers dakota's secret (which dakota has been terrified of him finding out) is when cavendish finally realizes how much dakota cares about him and starts to truly trust him and IMMEDIATELY puts himself in danger for him. only for dakota to freak out and for cavendish to realize he would break all the rules to do the same thing for dakota. i feel like i'm watching this episode for thefirst time all over again. they do make me insane