I Am A Lesbian, Like My Father Before Me

Bright-Eyed Sunshine, early-30s, she/her

[tonsimonsi]

Need some fables AESOP

[dangerous-crow-boy]

Haven’t posted about plastic in a minute. Rest assured, I am still hard at work eating all plastic on earth

[dangerous-crow-boy]

They could never hurt me in any way that matters. I will not be kept from my calling

[laserwalnut]

Pinkscadrill

[foldingfittedsheets]

DMing is hard. I acknowledge this. Weaving a story with words for long periods of time means you’re gonna say something silly sometimes when your brain blips. And it’s not your fault that it’s so silly that your players share it around turning it into an inside joke, immortalizing your brain fart moment forever.

My DM was narrating a scene between our tiefling rogue and the NPC she was romancing. He was trying to set the mood for their first kiss, up on a tower overlooking the city, looking into each others eyes. They’d just been on a romantic date, there was a bottle of wine between them. And this was their moment.

The NPC leaned in to kiss the rogue and the kiss was, according to our DM, “long and normal.”

The entire session went off the rails. We became ungovernable creatures of hilarity. How long is normal?

We are informed normal is six seconds and we devolve even further into chaotic paroxysm of laughter. The DM desperately tried to rein us in but for the rest of the session everything took a long and normal amount of time.

My betrothed and I would kiss each other while counting to six in our heads then declare afterward, “Ah yes! Long and normal!”

I accidentally told my school team about it, reasoning that they’d at least never meet the DM who lives out of state. They’d say we needed the scene to be the long and normal length, or hold a pose for a long and normal time.

At the end of the year I invited them to my house for a celebratory meal and was surprised when my DM joined the DnD video call early. My teammates looked at him, expressions slowly spreading into evil grins. “Long and normal!” They greeted him.

He turned a look upon me of utter betrayal while I hustled them out of my house.

“It’s been a year!” He cried at the unfairness.

“Maybe it’ll phase out by next year,” I told him.

[gumi-megpoidd]

i feel like youre faking being trans and are actually a cis girl

??? ive posted my penis?

[gumi-megpoidd]

I DID NOT PLAGIARIZE MY PENIS????

[jenjoiii]

🌬️🌬️🌬️

there were three old women all dressed the same ... and they were always singin' in the back of your mind

[skygenders]

[ouroborosorder]

honestly I hate “can you pet the dog?!?” not for any of the common reasons but because it was initially interesting as a proposition of “can you interact with the world in a way that is not within the primary mechanical loop” and that very quickly fell away to being “well now any indie developer making a game has to have a pet the dog button or they’re going to get letters”

[ouroborosorder]

One of my dream projects has an NPC with a dog, and if you try to pet it, the owner tells you not to do that. If you try again, it bites you and you take damage. I want to do this entirely because I genuinely believe that this would make me feel way more grounded in the world than any “click button to see cute animation” would ever do, and also it would be really funny to have a game where people lose their runs because they tried to pet a dog they were told not to pet

[catgirldragon]

[sistertaxon]

[1five1two]

River Bandon, County Cork, Ireland.

[beemovieerotica]

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

[miiilowo]

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

[miiilowo]

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

[miiilowo]

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you

[vivian-the-barbarian]

Jesus said this. Matthew 6:24

[miiilowo]

jesus said this

[demonnstein]

[omtai]

She literally does not give a damn what that old fool is yelling about

[unaloid]

the lion does not concern herself with papa

[autism-thoughts]

The anti-vax and anti-science propaganda is very real - and also, frankly I think doctors and nurses would've had an easier time getting people not to fall for it if they spent less time treating people like fucking shit

[autism-thoughts]

This post is about a lot of things but it is especially about racism, medical abuse, and eugenics

[hyperlexichypatia]

There would be fewer conspiracy theories about vaccines being a sterilization plot if the medical establishment hadn't spent a century nonconsensually sterilizing people under the guise of routine medical care.

[notdayle]

Me and my girlfriend did a lil photo shoot in our regalia back in December

[notdayle]

Oh we’re engaged now btw 💍

[freegiftjones]

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[tenderheliotrope]

[tax--payer]

just turned a mouse into a single ounce of lead

[swagdinner]

[ymutate]

Zhiyong Jing, China