british slenderman

Be a dear and collect my teabags, would you?

[gayrobot9000]

CEO slenderman: collect my wages

[divorced-slenderman]

She took the pages.

[divorced-slenderman]

She took the pages.

[eviler-slenderman]

*Rips the wires out of your head until your vision sparks out cutely* :333

[fakest-slenderman]

well that smarts

[boy-and-girl-crazy123456]

Because of the influence of woke on creepypasta they're changing "slender man" into "fat woman". Sad!

[realest-slenderman]

the opposite of sad frankly !

[aroorchid-slenderwoman]

collect my fat woman pages

[hemipenal-system]

werewolf who runs you down in the woods and pins you down and does a whole monologue about how weak and pathetic you humans are and what delicious, succulent prey you make, then lays her head in your lap and politely asks you for scritches with her big wet eyes

[k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl]

me after chasing my prey for hours

[butterfly-sapphic]

Sounds like something I'd do honestly

[sreegs]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

If it's good enough, someone will post it to tumblr like a civilized person

[britishphotomatt]

roight, so wot's all dis poppycock about me bein' trans phobic? oi'm a model liberal i am! oi believe love is love! anywhosit, oi'm off to go bonk all my employees who haven't met their trans ban quota on the head wif a big hammer! cheerio!

[british-slenderman]

look mate, we can all see what you're doing - it's bloody obvious innit. piss off.

[aliengummy]

slenderman quinceañera

[aliengummy]

[realest-slenderman]

yippee!!!

[thevickylu]

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

European mutuals; you know it's late right?

[jarnt8]

Brexit means you can't tell me when bedtime is any more you fucking fascist! ! !!!!!!!!!!

[dehydratedlydia]

go to bed its like what 12 pm over there ?

[jarnt8]

I went to BRITISH-sleep in my BRITISH-bed at a good honest BRITISH-time in my BRITISH-timezone which is Greenwich (a place in BRITAIN) Mean Time and had BRITISH-dreams on my BRITISH-pillow and woke up in BRITAIN at a good honest BRITISH-time and am now talking to you on the internet, a BRITISH invention, you eurocuck continental cured ham eating FUCK

[nyanbinary-perineum]

Letting you stim with my hand that eventually turns to me fingerfucking your mouth while calling you a "Good puppy" :3

[discourse-slenderman]

*As they're running, they bump into what seems to be a large object covered by a fabric tarp*

*BONK*

OW

…?

[slender-hero]

*They look down at Discourse, a faint glow coming from their bones*

[discourse-slenderman]

Uhhhhhhhhh???

Hello???

[slender-hero]

*A low rumbling sound, along with an all too familiar rattling comes from the figure*

[discourse-slenderman]

…hero?

[slender-hero]

..........

*Hero leaps at them*

[discourse-slenderman]

NONO COME ON NOT AGAIN—

*they quickly duck and attempt to scuttle away back down the corridor*

[slender-hero]

*They start to chase Discourse, yet its impossible to tell how far they are, due to the lack of sound*

[discourse-slenderman]

*more frantic running* WHY AM I NERVOUS IT’S JUST HERO RIGHT WHATTHEHELLISGOINGON

..

..ARE THEY STILL THERE?

..

*more rapid running*

*cough cough*

[slender-hero]

*Hero pounces on them, bringing both of them to the ground*

[discourse-slenderman]

AGCH—

*cough wheeze*

GET OFF OF ME YOU LITTLE. BIG SHIT these rocks are MINE finders keepers!

[slender-hero]

*Hero freezes in place.*

*Suddenly, an ear piercing scream able to be compared to that of a tea kettle whistling comes from them*

[discourse-slenderman]

*bewildered (hypothetical) staring*

*simultaneously cringes at the noise*

[slender-hero]

*Hero continues to scream, getting louder each passing second*

[discourse-slenderman]

..

*puts a couple of rocks in their mouth*

[slender-hero]

*Hero immediately stops and stands up, yet continues to pin Discourse down with one of their legs*

*They pull the rocks out of their mouth, then shine them with their cloak, growling angrily*

[discourse-slenderman]

..*slowly takes out more rocks*

*spits on them and chucks them behind hero*

[slender-hero]

.......

*Hero scrambles towards the rocks (probably, Discourse can't really see anything)*

[discourse-slenderman]

*quickly tries to crawl out of sight; back the way they came from*

[slender-hero]

*Hero stashes all of the rocks inside of their cloak and turns to Discourse*

*Hero's slightly illuminated figure seems to pull something out from behind their back, and they charge forward*

[discourse-slenderman]

*hurriedly gets up and runs again*

*COUGH HACK*

THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME??

[slender-hero]

*Hero swings the item at Discourse, leaving a stinging sensation on the back of their head. They can practically feel the blood drip down their neck*

[discourse-slenderman]

*grips the back of their head but continues running*

AGAIN?? WHYMEWHYWHATTHESHITHOWDIDYOUGETHERESOQUICKLY

[slender-hero]

*Hero lunges at them, immediately ripping the rocks out of Discourse pockets*

[discourse-slenderman]

AW COME ON BITCH

*skids to a violent stop*

[sir-qwillian-ferne]

BEST SLENDERBLOG POLL ROUND TWO ROSTER

@notstraightslenderman

@slenderofhearts

@eviler-slenderman

@learningfrenchslenderman

@trendermanthepoet

@selfcare-slenderman

@slender-woman-returns

@transgender-slenderman

@slender-void

@flirtatious-slenderman

@endometriosis-slenderman

@realest-slenderman

@green-slenderman

@detective-slenderman

@slenderman-and-the-tapeworms

@red-slenderman

@bitchlessslenderman

@slenderjester

@sirenslender

@bitchless-slenderman

@author-slenderman

@slenderfurry

@williamfnafton

@flowerslender

@poet-splendorman

@aliceinslenderland

@digital-slenderman

[deactivated-blog]

interesting group of people. I don’t think I’m gonna win.

[poet-slenderman]

Oh honnnney…

todays the daaaaaaaaay… :3

— @absurdly-tall-slendy

I know, dear (<- this person did not sleep well. anxiety and excitement alike)

It's finally here.

[absurdly-tall-slendy]

Shall we round up the guests, my dear?

[poet-slenderman]

Of course

[absurdly-tall-slendy]

@absurdly-tall-offendy @poet-splendorman @trendermanthepoet @poet-tenderman @icelandic-slenderman

@pinkslenderman @transgender-slenderman @flirtatious-slenderman @eviler-slenderman @slendermatchmaker

@absurdly-tall-splendy

oh god

[pinkslenderfolk]

Splendid, once the guests have all arrived and you both are ready we can start the ceremony of you two's unition in the wonder of matrimony

[poet-slenderman]

Thank you very much.

[absurdly-tall-slendy]

Aughstandabahaaaaaa-

[absurdly-tall-slendy]

fuck

ok

I can do this.

… I hope

[british-slenderman]

Holy bloody hell

Another facking slender!

I've been here for a while, luv.

[slender-hero]

Wait oh slod are you british I've been reading your shit with a canadian accent

....I am.

[discourse-slenderman]

HERO IS BRITISH SLENDTISH????

no wonder I hate you so much

[slender-hero]

Oh shut your mouth. What are you, hm?

[discourse-slenderman]

Slerican, obviously

And I’ll shut up when I’m dead—No guarantee though!

[slender-hero]

....Of COURSE YOURE AMERICAN..

[discourse-slenderman]

*mimicking voice* OF COURSE YOU’RE BRITISH!

and it’s slerican not American obviously! I’m not a human dumbass

[slender-hero]

Blah blah blah. You slericans pronounce twat like TWOT, you have no room to speak.

[discourse-slenderman]

YOU’RE one to talk, you say “FAR” like “FAH”! I’m sorry, can the baby not finish their words?

[british-slenderman]

I must come to Hero's defense here - he pronounces words much more nicely than you, Discourse.

[discourse-slenderman]

Their words sound like they’re stuck in the 19th century.

[british-slenderman]

Phonetically, or linguistically?

[sir-qwillian-ferne]

Best Slenderblog Poll Round One Poll Eighteen

@prince-slenderman

@sirenslender

Voting ended onMay 16, 2024

@prince-slenderman @sirenslender