Ugh™

brooke // she/they // 15

[lesbianmarx-deactivated20190409]

[charmingpplincardigans]

So, are you a beautiful forty-five minute monologue gay, or a wardrobe goblin gay?

[tinderventure]

I love this man

[catholichell]

a great look is the mama mia the movie look…like carefree girls and women of all ages living on a scenic beach shore with their friends and family and its always sunny and everybodys always in some state of partial undress w a bathing suit on and theres only 2 men on the island and one of them is colin firth

[tinderventure]

I’ve finally got a contribution to make. Her bio said “History buff”

[greelin]

can you imagine not being human & just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? beautiful? by the water? unburdened? ideal

[amthsts-remade-deactivated20191]

I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything

[parksanrec-deactivated20171215]

I’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them

[teenytinyfrog]

( other versions: spider, moth, bee, worm )

[gentle-reminder]

gentle reminder

you tried your best, and your best for today might not look like your best from yesterday, and it might not be your best for tomorrow, but that’s okay – you did your best for right now, and with these little steps, you’re making it through

[weaks]

i Still cant believe sneaking out is an Actual thing that teenagers Do

[weaks]

this is just so unrealistic to me like what the fuck how do yall do it??? i have Arguments and Questions

1. like what am i supposed to do if i live in a building??? do i just wait for the elevator?? do i take the stairs?? mind me there could be a Lot of stairs 2. how THE FUCK do yall manage to do all this shit without waking anyone up?? this is So Fake!! if i so much as sneeze into my pillow my mom will come into my room and see if my ass is okay and then complain that i woke her up 3. HOW THE FUCK DONT YOUR PARENTS REALIZE YALL ARE GONE?? AND HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO COME BACK?? WHAT THE FUCK!! 4. if my mom found out that id been going places in the middle of the night u bet your ass id be dead the next day 5. i dont believe in this concept At All

[bitcherovas-deactivated20180903]

i mean i guess it’s possible the way american houses are built but it’s still a bit far fetched imo but yea growing up in Puerto Rico in an urbanizacion it was like lmao you can’t sneak out in a house like that. first of all our windows are miami style of whatever, second of all there’s only 1 functioning door (technically our house had 2 but 1 of them had potted plants on both sides so it was never used but in any case both were on the same side of the house), and the house is so small like you would hear someone opening and closing it. plus you just know at least 1 person on your street would be up and would spill that piping hot tea to your parents the next day.

[thisiswhymomworries]

so my sister snuck out of the house one night because we live in an old house in the country that’s always creaking and “settling” which, good news: is perfect for sneaking out because there’s always weird noises anyway; bad news: we’re in the middle of the woods and there’s always creepy fucking noises

but hey, what are white girls gonna do except sneak out at night and through the woods to go have sex with their boyfriends?

what could go wrong??

and I do literally mean through the woods. our driveway is a quarter of a mile long through actual wooded area, and she wasn’t smart enough to grab a flashlight. but she could sort of see the headlights of her boyfriend’s car at the very end so it wasn’t so bad going down to be picked up

except when she got dropped off, she had to make the trip back up the driveway, through the dark scary woods, with no light whatsoever, at like 3 am or some other Gonna Get White Girl Murdered time

and she was high as fuuuuuuuuuuck

so she’s creeping her way back up the driveway, trying to move slow or else she’ll fall off the ground and get lost in the sky forever. really fucking high

then she steps on a frog

because we also have a 3 acre “pond” like our property isn’t fucking creepy enough already and my first-time-to-ever-be-high sister stepped on a FROG and apparently it both squished and belched, and keep in mind that with no light whatsoever she doesn’t know what the fuck just happened AT ALL

I wake up to a series of frantic text messages

hlp he lp HEL

dont’ tell momd and dad

i jsut murdered somtheing

also, just for context, this is also the sister that pierced her own ears and gave herself a stick’n’poke tattoo with a lighter and my mom’s sewing needle because she “got restless” and picked a fight with a girl two grades above, half a foot taller, and probably a hundred pounds heavier AND WON

(it doesn’t matter if you’re smol if you get ‘em on the ground and get on top)

anyway

so waking up to an “I just murdered something” text from her was … actually kind of inevitable. siblings are either ride or die or no officer I’ve never seen that person before, and that night, I decided I was ride or die

so then I take MY dumb white girl ass out into the woods in the middle of the night, but at least I’m smart enough to take a flashlight. sister had already texted me she was “onthe driveways” but again, that’s a quarter mile journey

finally I arrive at the scene of the crime

sister: sitting in the gravel, crying, makeup a Mess

frog: laying still beside her, looking like a slightly smaller Jabba the Hut

she points at the frog and sobs that it’s a heart. obviously a frog. a fucking BIG ASS frog, but still. I’m relieved, but also super pissed, because I drug myself out of bed, snuck out too, and dangled my sumptuous human body in front of all the Forest Monsters on my way down here and there isn’t even a fucking body

just a frog, which I pick up to show her is not a heart, and turns out to only be stunned! not dead! still very much alive and full of pee!!

so it pisses all over me and slimes out of my hand, escaping into the night

also, I totally held my sister’s hand with my Piss Hand as I led her back home because she deserved it

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

this was a goddamned journey

[spiritoftruth]

# does anyone get a little bit of a gay vibe?

[kami-catharsis]

When you don’t understand her but you’re already thinking about how many dogs you’ll have when you’re married

[writterings]

whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.

[writterings]

these kids will be like “can you drive me home? i don’t have gas money but-” and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money.

[writterings]

i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her to never fucking come back

[writterings]

old dudes will flirt with our young girls too and i’ll be like ay man this is a truck stop, normal customer service rules dont apply here. i can and will call the cops on you.

[kittyking445]

Op I love you

[the-good-names-are-gone]

Op be my dad

[memesandlaughs]

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

the entire month of august is like the sunday evening of the year where you think you have your shit together but at 11pm you realize theres school tomorrow & your shit is completely not together 

[mxlabradorite]

I’ve been out of school for thirteen years and I still feel this in my goddamn bones.

[anarchapella]

Unpopular opinion: straight people using “partner” to refer to their SO actually helps normalize the term so that lgbt folx can use it without automatically outing themselves to strangers. It also helps other straight ppl get comfortable with the fact that strangers aren’t entitled to information about other people’s gender or sexuality.

[lesserkiwi-deactivated20180504]

Give op their hard-earned notes

[krusty-cakes]

Tbh I hear “partner” and assume gay, I didn’t know straights used it. Very fair point, OP

[queerlybelovedones]

I hear ‘partner’ and think ‘gay’ too. A girl at work used it for months and I just went with it. When she would say ‘he’ I even thought maybe he was trans*. Anyways, someone using partner makes me more comfortable and I came out to her. She was just an intelligent straight girl that liked the term and was knowledgeable in human sexuality so definitely someone I should have felt comfortable coming out too. It’s a good sign of a straight person uses it IMO.

[imagddisaster-deactivated202009]

As a mental health clinician, this is actually my blanket term when discussing any romantic relationship. I agree it normalizes it, but I also think it’s a relatively safe term to use to describe most romantic relationships without making any assumptions about the person’s orientation or identity. I also use the word “partnered” when describing a monogamous relationship status.

[mxthermoon]

The term “partner” also removes the implied hierarchy of boyfriend/girlfriend vs husband/wife. This is relevant both to non-monogamous people, and unmarried individuals for whom the importance of their relationship isn’t dictated by its legal status. 

[tentadog-deactivated20220704]

also you can make cowboy jokes

[miniwixoide]

T.G.I.F.

Tomorrow Gonna Is Friday

[mens-rights-activia]

Alright tumblr gays, it’s time for some discourse

Your keysmashing is only valid if it includes letters from the following highlighted region:

Examples: asjglgjjggskaldhkakakdhh

agafsjdka

Lgjldhdkflsjjdldhh

Sgdkkfjdlsjagadshdkgllhjsjaldhzxajdkgsh

The above examples are valid

Examples of invalid and strange looking keysmashes:

Oteiyoeodortwowuyoe

Pwyeorncnbvncbmbvnvpwu

Itpyuye

Ncmvbb

You see, key smashes from outside the highlighted region are strange looking because they look like they could be valid words from a foreign language(welsh or Swedish) or they simply lack the size and shape variations of the highlighted region and thus cannot properly convey the E•mo•tion behind a key smash

[gwaoopa]

I WAS WONDERING WHY TF MY KEYSMASHES LOOKED SO BAD

[weaselle]

It has to primarily be comprised of letters that are part of the classic typing resting position for your hands, the “Basic Position”, or it looks forced instead of spontaneous

“g” and “h” are fine because they’re right there, “z” “x” and “q” are okay because they look funny, are almost never used in real words, and break up the monotony of the middle row’s heavy usage, and you can throw in like, ONE other letter from anywhere else on the keyboard for personal style and to indicate exuberance of flail thank you for coming to this TED talk

[alexander]