[screenshotsofdespair]

[retroactivebakeries]

[angelicguy]

do u have any tips on how to get rid of ants?

im assuming diplomacy has failed

[afloweroutofstone]

[thatthinginyourshoe-deactivated]

[despazito]

i just learned yesterday that sodom and gamorrah were cities not people

[despazito]

i thought sodom was a guy and gamorrah was a woman and they committed adultery and god punished them

[totallywylde]

You need to brush up on your bible lore, my friend. Do you at least remember the main plotline?

[despazito]

I was never in the fandom

[rslashrats]

i thought gamorrah was that green m&m from marvel movie

[anxietyproblem]

[owlmylove]

the year is 2027. the met gala theme is dashcon. i arrive in a navy parachute-nylon gown with a shimmering, mile long train containing a diving board, depth markers and hundreds of plastic balls. the vogue style editor dressed as Dr. Whostuck pulls me aside and begs to know the designer. i smile enigmatically and simply say, “it’s a ball gown.” all of the reporters are wearing mishapocalypse masks

[antiriko]

op do u take constructive criticism ?

[owlmylove]

i am not accepting comments at this time

[adulthoodisokay]

#i know exactly how cursed it felt to read this #bc i had to experience the horror of writing it

[meredith30x30]

I would wear a mile long dress of the what color is the sky post

[owlmylove]

I am accepting one (1) comment at this time

[outofcontextarthur]

submitted by whippedcloudsofcream

[fabulousairpirate]

[gaypeopletwitter]

[janecrockeyre]

sometimes your dm throws you for a fucking loop and you just can’t recover

[death-by-physics]

@buddybeagle

[maxbegone]

Friend: “How does D&D work?”

Me: “You need to buy a shitload of dice and then pretend like you know what you’re doing.”

[whats-ursine]

#i know exactly what I’m doing #I’m buying dice

[death-by-physics]

@buddybeagle

[fiti-vation]

[ernasd]

oh this is a life saver

[gallusrostromegalus]

So these are both “Aw Fuck I’m outta real food” meals BUT ALSO:  if you’re learning how to cook, these are great “baby steps” meals to learn how to cook basics into something enjoyable without “wasting” anything expensive.  Though I maintain that even cooking screw-ups are valuable in terms of lessons learned.

Also they’re great for when you get absorbed in something and you realize your blood sugar is dropping and you need to make something Quick.

[asymbina]

I don’t think of myself as a cook at all, but I looked through this list and was like “if you have [center] and [any item on a surrounding ring] how do you sit there thinking you’ve got nothing to eat?” Like, I buy a fair amount of staples knowing that I’ll be able to quickly assemble them into something tasty if I’m hungry and don’t have anything instant (or in a leftovers container because I made it earlier in the week specifically to eat for a week): butter, cheese, noodles, and more.

[elodieunderglass]

It still impresses people how I can go into random kitchens with no food in them and emerge with Filling Snacks for Five People. This is the secret: knowing how to assemble Cupboard Meals. And these charts are incredibly well-laid-out too!

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

idk if I’ve posted about this before but by far the strangest things that’s happened to me in retail was the time someone’s total came out to my birth-year and I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and then the next customer’s total came out to like $12.57 and just bc I’m a weirdo I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and without missing a fucking beat this like, 70+ year old man said

“Ah! Another like me! We’re few and far between these days, aren’t we?”

And I was like oh man this guy’s sense of humor really aligns with mine! And I laughed and made some other joke about being immortal and thought that was the end of it,

but this man.

He stood by the register for five more minutes. Maybe more. Which let me tell you is an EXCRUTIATING amount of time for something like this to happen.

And he just kept upping the ante!! He starting talking about some REALLY specific details regarding day-to-day life in the 1300s to the point I started getting worried that I’d misled a genuinely immortal being to believe I am also immortal.

He eventually politely left when I got too busy with other customers to awkwardly respond.

Who the fuck was that guy.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I think it’s also important to mention this happened at Cracker Barrel.

[loadingterrain]

this is what im talking about babey!!

[theselfcarelifestyle]

If you’re looking for someone to save you, look in the mirror.

[bogfox]

Bloody Mary finally coming in clutch

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[astrangerreplay-deactivated2019]

Hot dog stand in NY 1963.

[devoposting-deactivated20190507]

stanced

[bob-belcher]