Bless the Mohgwyn Dynasty, with Love!

she/her | 30s | 18+ plz | I write fics and original horror | Elden Ring | Warhammer | horror | proud parent of a skeleton army

[burningtrashwizard]

OG Dark Souls (Remastered) List of Deaths

General Deaths (falling off of cliffs/ganked by random trash mob/murdered by dogs): 468

Deaths in Blighttown only: 37

Killed by Invaders: 2

Times I walked off a ledge because I was talking with my spouse and wasn't watching where I was going: 4

Total Non-Boss Deaths: 511

Boss Fight Deaths:

Asylum Demon: 1

Taurus Demon: 3

Bell Gargoyles: 9

Capra Demon: 6

Undead Parish Titanite Demon: 4

Gaping Dragon: 6

Quelaag: 8

Ceaseless Discharge: 6

Iron Golem: 7

Ornstein and Smough: 83 (we have a winner!)

Great Wolf Sif: 2

Pinwheel: 1

Gravelord Nito: 11

Demon Firebrand: 3

Centipede Demon: 1

Bed of Chaos: 9

Four Kings: 7

Seath the Scaleless: 3

Sanctuary Guardian: 8

Knight Artorias: 14

Black Dragon Kalameet: 34

Manus, Father of the Abyss: 29

Dark Sun Gwyndolin: 2

Gwyn, Lord of Cinder: 34

Total Boss Fight Deaths: 291

Total Deaths Overall: 808

HUZZAH!

[natnormalatall]

roald dahl was antisemitic and misogynistic. george orwell was openly homophobic. edgar allan poe married his 13 year old cousin. dr seuss cheated on his wife (and was racist as well as antisemitic!). hp lovecraft was racist as fuck. anyways they’re fucking dead it’s not like you’re enabling their behaviors in the afterlife or something. then again I think they bleed into the books so uh keep an eye out for that

the difference between these old white guys and jk rowling is that the former group is all dead. jk rowling is alive and using your money to oppress trans people

[blurryf4ce]

reblog this and in the tags, write the band that comes to mind first when you think back to being 13 years old

[sraithpics]

I meant to make this meme ages ago when pride month was still on but yeah gé (pronounced gay) is the Irish for a goose.

[sraithpics]

IT’S FINALLY PRIDE MONTH, TIME TO REBLOG THIS AGAIN.

[headspace-hotel]

Imagine how absolutely baffled a Roman soldier from like 0 AD would be upon being transported suddenly to a very Christian rural midwestern town and seeing crosses everyfuckingwhere

He’d draw a lot of somewhat incorrect conclusions about our culture very quickly

[rivette-the-red]

"This town is full of very very small criminals...."

[headspace-hotel]

I was going to say “weird and arbitrary things are marked with the threat of execution” but yours is funnier

[aaeeden]

Godric The Grafted

[samshepard]

shoutout to everyone dealing with. thhe fucking difficulty

[rosemochi]

the fact that all of my mutuals immediately reblogged this from me really says something about all of us, doesn't it

[moniquill]

::gestures towards the everything, which is currently fucking difficult::

[xalatath]

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN

[mr-dinosaurus]

I love reading fanfics where one character is tagged as jealous, but their partner is unlovable to anyone but them. Like.. calm down, sweetheart, no one wants your man. We're still trying to figure out why you want your man.

[ot3]

the yuri rarepair shippers shall inherit the earth

[orphanedsource]

MOHG SWEEPS!!!!

WE WON

[orphanedsource]

THEY CANT KEEP HIM FROM US!!!!

LUMINARY MOHG CERTIFIED BALLER PICKING UP THE MANTLE FOR GAYS WORLDWIDE

[burningtrashwizard]

Happy Pride, friends! 🏳️‍🌈🌈❤️

[redzombie]

the throne of leyndell

[burningtrashwizard]

But really though, I am glad I survived grad school and have moved beyond it, and now in my late thirties have met quite a few other people who had grad school nervous breakdowns because of the stress. It's less lonely.

[houndsofbalthazar]

Visited my semiotician grandparents and they offered me a Werther's Simulacrum

[perdvivly]

Visited my Goethe grandparents and they offered me a sorrowful Werther

[loyalsquire]

I'm learning so much about princesses on tumblr dot com

[burningtrashwizard]

Shadow of Yharnam: 2

I summoned Henryk for help, because Henryk is awesome, and also because if I have to fight three guys I see no reason to not summon another guy to help me.

I have enjoyed the Forbidden Woods; the beginning where you give the password is AWESOME. There is tons of good loot. It's a neat little area, and it's clear that some more bestial Yharnamites have moved here and built a little shantytown where they can live away from the hunters. I like that.

I could do without the snakes. (Not that I have anything against snakes IRL, mind you. I just hate being slow-poisoned.)

In addition, I invited the Suspicious Beggar back to Oedon Chapel because I was being helpful, and then he started KILLING PEOPLE, and then I had to put him down, even though he turned into a darkbeast, and I hate that I had to do that but I promised people they'd be safe at the chapel and I can't have you hurting people there, mate. The only two nice people in the game are there. You gotta go pack it up and hunt somewhere else or I'm gonna kill ya.

***

Time to go to the college and go mad. AKA, grad school.