this is about the death penalty and its also about call out posts about people who have already apologized for things they did a long time ago and it’s also about using ‘toxic’ or ‘abuser’ as if its an immutable class of person, and its also about any other circumstance with permanent consequences or wherein you assume someone is still the same person they were.
Things Your Fat Partner Might Want You to Know: A Letter to Skinny Partners
(This post contains thoughts and opinions that are influenced by my perspective. The content of this post is not reflective of all fat individuals and should not be assumed as such. Approach with caution.)
When you're leading your partner somewhere, it can feel humiliating for them to try to squeeze through the same tight places that may be easy for you to walk through. Please make sure your path is wide enough for your partner to follow without worrying about whether they fit.
Being bigger than your partner means that your clothes will often be shared with them but not the other way around. Make your partner feel special by giving them something of yours that isn't restricted by size (jewelry, bandanas, blankets, stuffed animals, etc.).
On the same note, if possible, keep clothes in their size in case of unexpected overnights or emergencies!
Don't assume your partner knows you love their fat body. When being told they are attractive, fat people often hear they are beautiful despite being fat, not because they are fat. Have a conversation with your partner about whether they are okay with specific parts of their body being complimented (stomach, thighs, arms, etc.) and tell them how much you love their body.
Eating around others can be a huge trigger for many fat people. If necessary, make sure your partner feels comfortable and safe when you ask them on a date involving food. Reassure your partner them that what/how much they eat isn't an issue and that it is a judgement free zone. Fat people are often judged no matter what they are eating, so please make this a safe space for them and show your support.
Understand that your fat partner may be restricted in doing certain physical activities. Make sure that they feel comfortable and are going at a pace that works for both of you. Make accommodations when necessary.
Being fat can come with a lot of physical discomfort and pain. Offer your partner massages, powder, lotion, and other forms of support to help them feel comfortable.
Overall, your fat partner is a unique individual. They may agree with everything on this list or absolutely nothing. Have the conversation with them to ensure that their needs are being met, that they feel comfortable, and that they feel loved.
To everyone reading this who is a skinny partner to a fat person, thank you for taking the time to read this post.
Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.
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