for you, the world.

yan/decay | they/them | 20+ | pfp by n0phis

[fuckyeahanarchistposters]

“Nazi Free Zone”

[bees-with-swords]

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

[hearnoweevil]

Last year I finally had an excuse to illustrate this simple little Tumblr story I've had bookmarked forever for class.

I hope you like it :]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.

Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.

Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.

You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.

As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.

Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.

This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.

A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

[lgbtlunaverse]

To me the most fun part about fix-its is placing dominoes.

Tragedies often consist of and ecalating series of actions and circumstances that, in isolation, were not clearly leading to the tragic end but form a chain of cause-and-effect directly towards it in hindsight. In equal but opposite fashion, I love starting with small inoccuous changes to canon that in themselves do not obviously fix everything but start a new chain that leads to a better ending.

It's kind of impossible for fix-its to feel fully natural– the reader by definition knows what the original ending was and that this ending will be happier because the writer wants it to be– but it is possible for them to not feel contrived. A big deus-ex-machina, or a character breaking with their pre-established tragic flaws to suddenly make all the "correct" decisions almost always feels unsatisfying to me.

But a few carefully placed small domino pieces slowly knocking over bigger and bigger tiles until the entire story has radically changed? That's a lot more fun.

It recquires the author to both correctly identify the original chain of cause-and-effect and understand the characters well enough to know how they'd react to different circumstances. Because if the story feels like it's fixing the wrong problem or the characters don't act like themselves the magic is lost. But when it works? When it clicks and the reader sees the domino chain laid out in front of them? It's beautiful.

[strongermonster]

little kids make me laugh. i was at a party yesterday and a kid was there and she noticed that i have a long straight cut along the length of my thumb and asked about it, so i told her it was a cat scratch, almost healed, didn't hurt. and then she was sorta staring and touching it for a bit and went "you had bone surgery. because there were termites in your bones."

so i played along and went "oh man, i hope they got em all!" and she went "no. they put in more." lmao

[strongermonster]

[katie-the-bug]

Things to Do When You're Given a Golden Apple and Told to Choose Between Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite:

-Make all three swear a solemn vow not to seek revenge of any kind, then answer honestly (or pick the one who offers the most appealing bribe, depending on how conniving you are).

-Cut the apple into three equal pieces, declaring that you cannot decide between three divinely beautiful women.

-Give the apple back to the Hesperides, because Eris probably stole it from them in the first place.

-Declare your partner the most beautiful. Maybe your loyalty will inspire Hera to protect you both.

-Name Artemis and run like hell for the woods.

-Name Hestia, because her humility and hospitable nature give her the greatest inner beauty. You will not receive any great boons, but your marshmallows will always come out perfect.

-Name Hecate because she has three faces and is thus three times more beautiful than any other goddess.

-Name Freya and hope that the goddesses get angry at the Norse pantheon and not you.

-Name Mesperyian and flee while the gods are trying to figure out who the hell you're talking about.

-Play the long game: bury the apple in your backyard and wait several decades. Cut the tree down and build a wardrobe from the wood. Flee to Narnia.

-Declare yourself the most beautiful and hope that the goddesses' immediate attempts to kill you cancel each other out.

-Make some other schmuck do it. Hey, it worked for Zeus, it'll work for you too.

-Pay no attention to what anyone is saying and absentmindedly eat the apple.

[mint-chip-superiority]

[flaskrobonoid]

happy 5 year anniversary

[flaskrobonoid]

happy 5 years to a media that was (and still is) genuinely a good story with good characters, that deserves to have that memorialized and remembered moreso than what happened to some of the ccs after. dsmp was worth it, dsmp is worth your love and time. drop the pretense of cringe and have fun with it forever ok? i love you

[bob-belcher]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

just because it “fits” doesnt mean its comfortable or sustainable stopppppppp this shit

[paladinpup-deactivated20151129]

There are two main factors at play when someone says that a condom is too small: (1) the band size is too small & (2) the condom is not sustainable

The band is at the base of the condom. It’s latex is made thicker here than the shaft and is, therefore, less elastic. The band keeps the condom secure so it does not come off mid-insertion and so penial fluids do not leak from the condom. To do this, the band has to keep a very tight grip on the base of the penis. This is the main complaint from people using condoms too small for them. The shaft’s plastic can stretch comfortably, but the band is not so lenient and uncomfortably or painfully squeezes the base of the penis.

Condoms in use experience a lot of friction. For a condom’s shaft or band to be stretched farther than it was intended weakens the latex. The band and shaft are then at risk of being broken from the friction. It fitting does not mean it is sustainable.

If your partner says a condom is too small, believe them and cease from doing anything that requires a condom. If your partner says a condom is too small but is trying to pressure you into unprotected sex, kick them out the door. 

[anxiousartisan]

Thaaaank you please read the above they make large and XXL condoms for a reason and it’s not to stoke men’s egos

[snyderman37]

A former… friend suggested I try a size or two larger, and yes, they do work.

[megabeeprime]

Yep. At first, I thought that condoms were supposed to be that tight. I’d seen those “condoms can fit on a two liter bottle so quit your complaining,” I had no basis for comparison because dudes don’t talk about that shit, and no one wants to be that “HURR HURR GUESS I NEED A MAGNUM XL” guy.

[siphersaysstuff]

Now wear that condom on your arm for a while. Ten minutes at least. Still got sensation in your arm?

One of the many failures of sex ed in this country is the notion that there’s only two types of condom, “fits everyone except those elephant-trunk-cock freaks” and “for elephant-trunk-cock freaks or lying braggarts” (and yes, there’s implicit shame in the idea of people needing non-”regular”-sized condoms and the genesis for such is pretty likely rooted in some really nasty viewpoints about certain groups of people but I’m digressing).

But penises come in a LOT of dimensions, and not all of them fit right in a “normal” condom. You don’t need to have a monster down there for a condom to be legitimately painful and/or break mid-act. This can leave a lot of people legitimately unawares that it doesn’t have to be like this. (I was, early on.)

Condom too tight? That’s a real problem for the reasons pointed out above. But it’s a solvable one at most drug stores, which generally have a broader (ha ha) selection than your Walmarts or Targets. Or suck it up (ha ha) and go to an “adult boutique” (a proper one) where they’re likely to have even more options and let’s be real here the people working at these aren’t gonna give you Looks over condom selection. Or shop at said boutiques online if you REALLY need to avoid the in-person thing.

And if you think you’re gonna be doing things requiring condoms, HAVE YOUR OWN. Yes, even if you personally don’t have a penis. Buy a box of large-size as well just in case.

And don’t let anyone give you guff over it, and don’t let anyone pressure you into unprotected sex because of condom size.

[magic-retina-deactivated2017100]

For the record, even if you’re doing things that don’t involve a penis at all, condoms are good to have around. They make great dental dams on the fly, keep toys clean, and keep body parts clean if your partner is using their hands. :) Also, keep some non-latex ones around in case you or your partner has a latex allergy. Trust me, there are few places worse to have that allergic reaction. o_o

[naamahdarling]

Here! Here is a condom size chart!!! There are probably! Others! You can check!!! So you can be comfortable when getting up to shenanigans. Because condoms that don’t fit are sooo uncomfortable and also a safety risk. A properly sized condom can really help improve sensation in the person with the penis.

https://www.verywellhealth.com/condom-size-chart-906776

I am so happy to be able to help! Condoms are so great!

[foldingfittedsheets]

Previous sex shop employee here! It’s worth noting that if a condom breaks it’s probably because there wasn’t enough lube on the INSIDE! Yes the come lubricated, but yes they need more! They use a water based lubricant and that gets sucked right up into your skin. If the inside of a condom gets dry it’s the absolute worst, especially around the band for comfort, but that’s not the part that will snap.

Adding lubricant inside increases pleasure and safety, it will blow your mind. Please do it.

Also! Most people suffer from a very low grade allergy to latex and one of the coolest things on this earth is polyisoprene condoms. They’re 100% less smelly, just as safe, and feel way better. Our preferred brand was Skyn but there’s other brands worth trying.

As embarrassing as it can be to go into an adult store I promise it’s where the Good Shit is kept. Not the KY lube (for the love of god don’t buy it, it’s killing your girls cooch) the good lube, and the condoms in many sizes and options that you won’t see in a supermarket.

[mournfulroses]

Nikos Kazantzakis, from a letter featured in The Selected Letters of Nikos Kazantzakis

[dragon-in-a-fez]

why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree

[myrinthinks]

[lunamonchtuna]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[mesothelihomo]

[bearie]

kittens conversation:

hey we are all really small do you want to sleep in a pile

other kittens: yeah

[i-am-a-fish]

please be kind to yourself, give yourself patience and understanding. you're doing just fine and you're literally a good person

[rabdoidal]

you’re telling me this rock i’m hitting is a bottom?

[kuromiusagi]

“Don’t infantilize autism” should be used when people who aren’t autistic treat autistic adults like children.

It should not be said when people who are actually autistic have “childish” interests or stuffed animals and such. Autistic adults are allowed to find comfort and express their autism in ways that works for them (without causing harm), even other autistic people don’t get to tell them not to enjoy those things just because they dislike stereotypes or don’t want themselves to be infantilized.

You can’t tell someone else their life should be breaking a stereotype you dislike. That’s not up to you.

[kayit-z]

Fight, little wolf

Tw: violence, blood (just a little), flashing lighst

⋆ Little wolf - EPIC: The Musical