Captain Cadfish

"Nutmeshell."

[batbetbitbotbut]

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

[batbetbitbotbut]

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

[introvertia]

Pizza, serves 8, yes I 8 it all.

[90s-kid-sad-adult]

lie to me

[onedirectionforever]

“you support gay rights so you must be gay”

i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you

[onedirectionforever]

turns out i am gay

[monsieurenjlolras]

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

[mywitchcultblr]

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

[adreamthatsworthkeeping]

[thebirdkiwi]

he was a llama

[the-pen-pot]

[bbbbbbbbatman]

origami batman i made while bored at work

link

[targetedknowledge]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

this passes peer review harder than anything has ever passed peer review in the history of peer review

[curlicuecal]

when my littlest brother was a toddler he was apparently under the impression that you could get meat out of an animal without killing it in the same way you could get milk or eggs.

he expressed this as "the farmer milks the cow and then he porks the pig"

[my-ny]

He tells me

What to do

He tells me how to do it

He tells me why to do it

He tells me when to do it

And then when I do it hes like

😠🪨 WHAT ARE YOU DOING 🪨😠

And then its like "No UnDeRsTaNd No UnDeRsTaNd NeEd A wOrD"

You know the word?

BOSSY

[famylee83]

This man needs to be hunted for sport.

[frederickchiltonsdivacup]

Give a man a fanfic, and he will read for a day. Teach a man to write, and he still won't do it.

He'll think about it though, and boy oh boy, he'll be thinking about it...

[the-haiku-bot]

He’ll think about it

though, and boy oh boy, he’ll be

thinking about it…

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[sunny-sourzii]

They make me sick btw

[morningsaidthemoon]

Tag! You're It! - My 2nd year film :D

[hangon-silvergirl]

game changer (dropout.tv) + the onion; i've been here the WHOLE time

[fu-boss]

Real life Road Runner

[sahonithereadwolf]

Looney Tunes is real and happening outside.

[dancing-crow]

good lord its feet really do spin around in a circle when going fast

[ryland-graceless]

[dogpuppy]

[chickenmim]

Dude... allow me to add to your trove.

I have a folder of these on my phone... I'm not sure what that says about me!

[sreppub]

how could i not reference the brothers of all time….

[sreppub]

……..boobs.

[sreppub]

i saw someone use this reaction img just now and my jaw dropped..... it's HIM......

[lutheban]

Rocky, once again, being baffled and STRESSED about human biology and the things his human does to keep healthy i dont think mr "my whole crew died of radiation sickness" likes the fact that his alien and most things on his planet needs it for survival very much xD previous