yikes

28 engineer canadian

[skippyisntfunny]

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

Pulitzer Prize type shit

[wizardshark]

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

[spooky-narwhal]

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

[quietwingsinthesky]

did i tell you guys i failed at being sexually harassed at work today?

[quietwingsinthesky]

okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”

and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!

his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.

So I Answered It.

and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-

i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.

anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.

[i-speak-graffiti]

🫵 HEROES in the tags

[aliasthe1st]

[stroebe2]

June and July are the same months btw. They want you to think they're two different months but it's the same month that's 60 days long. Same way August is actually August and the first half of September

[datasoong47]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

been burning the candle at a third and possibly even fourth end lately, an advanced technique that no one talks about because it's "a bad idea"

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Your pets only love you because you feed them”

Yeah well that’s also how your relationship with your parents starts out but more stuff happens after that doesn’t it

[what-even-is-thiss]

I don’t think Crusty and Bread would try to give me a tongue bath and run to be in the same room as me to hang out if our relationship only boiled down to me providing food for them. Yeah maybe that’s how it started but we’ve also earned each others trust in other ways since then.

[lafey]

One of my cats (she died, will forever be missed) used to make my mom open EVERY SINGLE DOOR in the house so she could check if I was in one of them whenever I went on a trip.

[what-even-is-thiss]

One of my grandmothers friends has a cat that will knock over one potted plant for every day that they’re gone on a trip even when they have a cat sitter lol. Kitties miss you when you’re gone.

[smeared1992]

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

[ratica]

[mizuthe-cat]

damn mutual I don’t engage with that media you’re into but my congrandolances on the situation

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[skopostheorie]

[hachama]

[thel1ghtningthief]

bringing this one out of the comments cause. yeah.

[support]

One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.

[mon0poisoner]

nearing the 10 year anniversary of banishing editable reblogs

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[kosmogrl]

we got august this week

[saltedume]

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[kominfyrirkattarnef]

Have you guys noticed how much the internet/technology just does not listen to you anymore? I click “don’t show this artist” on Spotify and I get recommended a music video by them on the front page. I click “skip this update” on a pop up every time I open a file organization app and it’s right back there every time. O click unsubscribe on a newsletter and it keeps showing up in my inbox!! I click “delete my account” and the next time I open the website they suggest I “reactivate”.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Power is a funny thing.