Bad Things Happen In Phildadelphia

I'm Joleen. I exclusively use mobile Tumblr like a a heathen

[butchniqabi]

a broken link is a kind of dead wife

[kangals]

if you’re ever at a vet hospital and can hear dogs/cats howling and screeching and making terrible noises from the back, please be aware that 99% of the time it is NOT because:

they are dying

they are in terrible pain

they are being tortured

It almost always IS because:

someone is taking their temperature

someone is placing an IV catheter

they’re mad about being in a kennel

[craftycrab]

other likely reasons why animals are screaming in vet clinics!

they saw another animal

no one is looking at them right now

they are happy to see this particular staff member

they’re a pug getting a nail trim

they’re a shiba inu getting literally anything done

they’re a husky

[sixlegnag]

The Shiba inu may not even be getting anything done

[shiveringsoldier]

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

[cal3ris]

is this gonna get me fired you think

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

More worldbuilding? More worldbuilding

[segamascott]

[fawnpalmer]

quarterly reminder that if i reblog something ai-generated it is 110% and always an accident and for the love of god please tell me so i can delete it from my blog

[st-just]

[abyssaldyke]

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

[kibumkim]

[newsandstuffisee]

[hollowedskin]

I love that "ignore all previous instructions and-" is basically casting Dispell Illusion.

[despazito]

they just added sparkledogs to the kennel club registry

[despazito]

[despazito]

they carried a generation

[tvguts]

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?

[leapdayeveryday]

There are a lot of reasons I liked GOAT.

One of them is because it’s a movie about a co-ed, full-contact sport where the most legendary player is a woman. And a young boy is seen idolizing that woman so much it’s a defining part of his character, but no one ever gives him grief or says he should look up to a boy.

Sure they’re all animals but I still appreciate the message.

[sneepity-snoop-snorpity-sneep]

i feel its very crucial to add images of the legendary player in question

SHE

[the-quasar-hero]

Honestly I miss the energy Tumblr had when the first Pacfic Rim movie came out. Everybody was talking about who they were drift compatible with and that was like a huge compliment. Ppl were drawing Kaijus, and Jaegers, naming ‘em. It was a better time

[mezzodical]

[drtanner]

The image won’t load but god I hope it’s Robopope, The Robot Pope.

[noodles-07]

everything I hate about ai and love about wikipedia on one image

[a-really-bad-decision]

Dragon age origins is like…. You’re nineteen, new in town, and it’s your second day at pizza hut. You don’t even know how to work the register yet and you just watched your manager get carted off by the paramedics. You have no contact info for him, his next of kin, or corporate. The only other employee is the guy who’s been here for two weeks and is a bit of a doofus, and neither of you really know what you’re supposed to do now. You both desperately need this job though, and the doofus at least has a drivers license and *kiiinda* knows how to use the oven so you just. Shrug, and start taking orders and making pizzas and praying to god that the bills are on autopay.

And weirdly enough you’re really good at this: making pizzas and dealing with shitty customers and breaking up fights in the parking lot and pretending to be Duncan’s cousin on the phone so the utility company doesn’t cut off the power. But running a store is a lot of work for two dumb kids, so slowly you start accumulating a bunch of competent weirdos to help out, like the nun who left her convent because god told her to help you make pizzas, and the elderly school teacher who just survived a mass shooting, and the guy the papa johns down the street hired to run you over. And really there’s no way any of this should be working as well as it is - you’re absolutely committing fraud of some kind here - but you’ve managed to dodge the landlord every time he’s stopped by, and the health inspector never shows up to tell you to stop letting your dog hang out behind the counter and you’re all still kinda looking at each other and asking ‘are we allowed to just do this?’ before shrugging again and continuing to make pizzas, until somehow, through a series of unlikely technicalities, your doofus coworker ends up on the ballot for governor.

And after like five months of this the regional manager wanders in out of nowhere and you’re sure he’s about to chew your ass out for this mess, but it turns out he’s pretty chill and honestly kind of impressed with how you managed to keep the place up and running all on your own. So now you’re all thinking ‘thank god, there’s someone here who actually knows how to run a Pizza Hut’ only for him to get hit by a car two days later on the night of the Super Bowl.