Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you
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@cardriveman
Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you
Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man
reaching up to get it off of the fridge and the big tshirt im wearing as pyjamas rides up and the reader sees my panties
Me: am I gonna recover from tuberculosis 😢😢
My Etsy tarot deck: 𝓼𝓲𝔁 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓪𝔀𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼
lyrics from I Feel So Weird! by Cheekface
the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want
Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.
fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle
the bouncer is what they call bunnies now i think
bars & clubs are guarded by bunnies
Babies are socially accepted parasites.
When u read Ayn Rand 1 time
They’re not a parasite, they’re a potential investment
When you read Ayn Rand a dozen times
remake of this classic
one of my classic texts, from the archives
You're obsessed with the rotting bloated corpse. It's like your Jungkook. Embarassing!
Go for it. I don't even care any more.
My favorite joke in Metalocalypse is how as the show goes on it becomes increasingly obvious they’re naming characters with the sole purpose of torturing Mark Hamill.
It’s been almost two years since I posted this but here’s a list of the official spelling of every character he introduces here:
Dr. Gibbitz
Dr. Amon Skagerakk Fredrickshaven
Dr. Donald Gorthian
Ronald Von Momnaldberg
Dr. Natasha Nesciantskidovich
Vicenzo de Alimamala Corningston III
Professor Jerry Gustav Mangledink
Horace Marmingblat Wimplestein, Jr.
Dr. Chazz Fazzledopenhoffer
Vater Oorlag
Dr. Milminaman-lanilim-swinwamly
Dr. Gibbitz again (but for some reason it’s spelled “Gibbetz” in the season 2 subtitles)
Melmord Fjordslorn
Dr. Ralphus Galkinsmelter
Dr. Amomolith Chesterfield
Wilmore Unduntingiminen
Dr. Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden
Dr. Imptnin Pmiltson
Dr. Tormindbind Mickmildididindnin
Dr. Krumpworth Chponglasia IV, Jr.
Dr. Borgermu Barret Swingdworth
Dr. Richard Reinhold Rnawighiwowpj
Captain Slufgyflaysid
Dr. Bartholomew Grahsrihajul
Dr. Alsajahb Fifborgiltk
Dr. Fsmilejera Irlelwoll
Dr. Commander Vernmim Chuntspinkton
Like I just love how you can pinpoint “Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden” as the exact moment the joke went from making Mark Hamill say funny but still vaguely name-shaped words to forcing that poor man to pronounce straight up keysmashes out loud.
duuude is that a losing dog? *gets out my wallet*