[assaultmystic-archive]

im like if a girl was {undefined variable}. im like if a girl was [fragment missing]. im like if a girl was (editor’s note: the author’s invocation of the word “girl” in this context is idiosyncratic, perhaps metaphorical) im like if a girl was im like if a girl draft deleted! im like if a girl You have reached your free article limit! Subscribe now to continue reading. im like if a girl was [THREAD LOCKED] im like if a girl (ENDING EXPLAINED!) im like if a girl Unusual activity detected, please highlight all the pictures of bicycles. im like if a girl I don’t respond to prompts that could be deemed offensive, and so I am unable to carry out the request. im-like-if-a-girldeactivated03092023. im like if a girl we are unable to take your call at the minute. im like if a girl isn’t registered under that name. im like if a girl could give you her date of birth. im like if a girl oh yes we have you under […]. im like if a girl LOST CONNECTION

[villainessbian]

I'm like if a girl [REDACTED]. I'm like if a girl [DATA LOST]. I'm like if a girl [DATA EXPUNGED]. I'm like if a girl [REMOVED BY O-5 ORDER]. I'm like if a girl ████.

[regicide1997]

im like if a girl Unexpected item in the bagging area. im like if a girl sorry, im going through a tunnel. im like if a girl can you hear me now? Good. im like if a girl downloaded a car. im like if a girl... ?

[selkiewizard]

Public transport is a type of horse and I'm a teenage girl who no one understands

[selkiewizard]

The bus fucking bit me

[beadyeyes]

Where's it made? Who brought it here? How much were they paid? Who makes it? Is it made in separate parts and put together? How much were they all paid to do this? Where do they get the materials? Who paid for that? Who brings it there? How much were they paid? Who streamlined the base materials? How much were they paid? Who gathered the base materials? Where? How much were they paid? Is it good for them? Is it good for us? Is it good for the land? Is it necessary? Is it biodegradable? How much does it hurt? Do I need it? Do I even want it?

[orteil42]

we're overdue for a reactive wave of anti-cozy games. animal crossing but office workers. restaurant management but applebee's. farming sim but all spreadsheets. never see an ear of corn the whole game

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

a young witch trying to solve a gristly murder in the Italian alps during the Years of Lead

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

a deeply underrated part of the gay taylor swift conspiracy theories is that if they're right and she really has spent over a decade sending subliminal messages based on minute details for people to decode then she's uuuuuh. I mean she's insane. she's jigsaw. she's the riddler. her dad bought her career because if she didn't have music to distract her she would have started building deathtraps.

[tpwrtrmnky]

MMO players will put 5-6 work weeks' worth of time into a newly launched game and then go "there's nothing to do, shit game, this sucks" and then go back to a game with absolutely no respect for their time that ask them to put in 2-3 hours a day as a bare minimum to keep up like. It's actually okay if you can be done with the game for a bit, go play something else or even spend time on other hobbies.

[winterskyfirefly-deactivated202]

Reblog to hug prev poster (they need a hug)

[monidoll]

combining light and dark soy sauce to make morally ambiguous and nuanced soy sauce

[xenosagaepisodeone]

I've seen what happens when people Get Worse. I've orbited a lot of people who Got Worse (especially online). If you listen to people who Got Worse it's all the same: they don't have consistent, meaningful social support, they've been hurt too many times and they can't open up out of fear that the next betrayal is going to drive the knife right through the artery, they end up spending too much time alone and develop secret languages, meanings, thought cycles completely inscrutable to anyone who has never had to rely on such rituals to survive, they get caught in a cycle of reopening and licking their wounds because the progression of time is so unrewarding and stagnant that the past is basically always the present, and the present is already the future, they become mean, they become strange.

some people might offer to help them but it's rare they ever know where to start, let alone exhibit compassion without grimace. admittedly, even for genuinely compassionate people, it isn't the easiest thing. if the person is someone who is stuck in their ways or doesn't know you, they don't really have a reason to be receptive to your help. "why should I waste my time on someone who is just going to become another memory of heartache? someone who will carelessly hurt and abandon me?" and such. an earnest attempt to help can feel like an attempted assault to them. at the same time, the meaningful interpersonal relationships that these people need will not survive if built on pity or fleeting self-gratifying feelings of "building" someone into your idea of a desirable person.

I don't know where I was going with this, but I always found it hard not to see myself as only a few degrees removed from these people. one or two safety nets separated from being completely trapped. unable to feel safe in not just the world but also my own body. a cosmological dead end. I stay away from habitually engaging in the obvious things can that make trying to change when you're at this point difficult (alcohol, drugs, etc), but if temperance is how you maintain stability in the face of rock bottom, you're basically already there, right? you're there and your body just hasn't caught up. maybe I'm just being dramatic because it's late. hows everypony finding the new deltarune chapters.

[syncarida]

Also I have to spread this beautiful kakapo image (by Andrew Digby) I saw this evening on bluesky... her baby lint... protecting my mould spore...

[sophie-frm-mars]

Frantically googling "good time to criticise a man" "how to apologise for wrong tone criticising a man" "criticizing men advice" "criticising men correct time" "male criticism window?" "Time when a man will receive criticism well"

[ifanimaltrapped]

[lilyblisslys]

there should be a cool, chill way to say things like “I’m struggling” or “I’m having a hard time” that doesn’t imply you might have needs

[egregore-engine]

People talk about Reddit voice but tumblr voice is genuinely almost as bad.

[weirdtranssexual]

call me crazy but i think public transportation should explicitly also be for actively drunk/high people. so they don’t, you know, drive under the influence.

[weirdtranssexual]

i literally don’t care how afraid you are of drunk people. if they’re behaving well enough then there’s no reason to kick them off the bus.

if you can’t recognize it’s better for society for drunk people to have a way home that doesn’t involve them driving and potentially getting people killed then you just kind of suck actually.

[houndmother]

every trans woman i know either has been forcibly expelled from a social group or knows a trans woman who has. the idea of this all being an online-only phenomenon is a fairly tale the tmes tell to comfort themselves

[linddzz]

I feel a sudden need to bring some important, clarifying information to people. Mostly artists who love drawing murder shrimp.

There are two kinds of crustaceans that are called "shrimp" that use concussive force via cavitation bubbles as a weapon.

These are Pistol Shrimp, a group of actual shrimp, and Mantis Shrimp, which are not actually shrimp but they are the ones you probably think of when you hear "murder shrimp" and "shrimp colors" (specifically the Peacock Mantis, bc there's a lot of species for both.)

I'm not annoying enough to grumble about the mantis being called a murder shrimp, because "murder stomatopod" is objectively a less fun combination of words.

HOWEVER!! People keep drawing mantis murder shrimp with pistol shrimp claws. They are not the same claws!! They are not used the same way!!! I will explain!!!!

Pistol shrimp: A number of shrimp species which have one big megachad claw and one dinky normal one.

The dactyl, or movable part of the large claw, is snapped shut with so much force that it shoots a cavitation bubble out with a very loud snap that can stun prey or scare off predators. It's very fucking cool.

As cool as that is, there is a reason that the mantis shrimp is what most people think of when they read "murder shrimp."

This is the Peacock Mantis Shrimp. Which is not a shrimp, but a stomatopod.

(In a lot of pictures it appears like they're staring intently at the camera. They probably are, because they are alarmingly intelligent.)

Note that it doesn't seem to have the big classic claws, and that's becaus it doesnt. Please stop drawing a shrimp claw on them. Their "claw" appendages are kept tucked up, praying mantis style.

These are a raptorial appendage that do have a sharp bit, but that sharp point has adapted to add support to the club end. They use the club to punch the shit out of things. They do punch so hard that they create a cavitation bubble, but the punch is the main deal.

If you look up a mantis shrimp puncher you may find this image, but they rarely if ever fold out fully past the punching part.

The second common mistake on mantis drawings is from mixing up two types of mantis shrimp. There are punchers, which includes the peacock mantis, and stabbers. You can guess what they do.

Fun fact! The peacock mantis is the largest puncher species, maxing out at 6-7 inches. Some of the stabber species, such as a zebra mantis can get 11 inches. This is because the peacock mantis is as big as it can get before it would shatter itself with the force of its punch!

This has been the marine biologist PSA.

Please stop putting the wrong claw on a peacock mantis.