The Name’s Lil

I can’t belt but I can dream

[c0ff33-and-tv]

Tomorrow? like the thing that killed Macbeth?

[daglout]

[en-futubandera]

[bannock-and-biopolitics-deactiv]

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

[curlicuecal]

oh shit my laundry

[mishafletcher]

reblog to save someone’s laundry

[venom-fucker-deactivated2021050]

fuck

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[creacher-feature]

[shiftythrifting]

[gallusrostromegalus]

For those of you that are wondering, please have one of the fiest pieces of radio comedy ever:

[jaynavajasso]

the first time i watched this i laughed so hard i nearly puked

[orwellsunderpants]

THIRD BASE

[lordkevington-deactivated-deact]

Since I was 8 and found out about this for the first time my family has always followed up on someone saying “I don’t know,” with shouting “THIRD BASE”

[j-sprrr]

[canadianstuck]

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

[ournameisfun]

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

[sammysausage]

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

[windyvalleyzone]

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

[jxhn-mulaney]

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

[lovelydeck]

I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

This is my favorite version of this thread now

[rodrickheffeley]

[wokebutsleepy]

[cashmoneyhon]

My toxic trait is liking people sexually/romantically that are assholes but not assholes. Like the type that will laugh at there friend for puking while having a fee too many while recording but will drive them home and refuse to let them uber. Do you get what I mean?

[porcelainforestry]

My dumb himbo brain can’t think if anything else but “cook pretty boy breakfast… kiss him head.. make he happy..”

[omghotmemes]

[blackqueerblog]

Also: don’t stigmatize HIV+ individuals because they all have different circumstances and might’ve  gotten the virus from a variety of sources (sex, occupational, birth, blood transfusions in other countries). 

HIV-related stigma remains a huge barrier to preventing HIV, and is linked to a low level of people testing for HIV. 

The bad news is that Trump is cutting America’s spending on HIV year after year.  He has taken steps to weaken the Affordable Care Act since coming to power.

[soupboyx]

prep is preventative, pep is what you take after initial exposure

[orangeresearcher]

In Capitalist America, sex education is on twitter and tumblr!

On PrEP for about three years now and my master’s degree focused on HIV, so if you have ANY questions about PrEP or HIV please DM me and I’ll be happy to chat. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, let’s chat about sex and HIV.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[mankillercalledbunny]

@gokissthewookie how could you leave this in the tags

[nacreousss]

Isn’t Reese witherspoon old enough to portray a presidential candidate where is Legally Blonde: Commander In Chic I’m not fucking playing around

[cashmoneyhon]

I HATE when you miss toxic friends like damn you may have ruined my self-esteem and my standards for being treated but DAMN you were funny sometimes

[gaycism]

[vangoggles]

Just so everyone is aware, the comments on the original video are all from ppl in Korea warning everyone about this guy. He harasses female fans and filters his comments to hide it. He’s counting on foreigners not knowing who he is to get his revenue.

[angelbabyspice]

[tsaomengde]

[guerrillatech]