cats & plants & birds

as you might notice I like cats & plants & birds & also memes sometimes... 

[catplantbird-lady]

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

stressed jelly beans

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

[catplantbird-lady]

the daily migration of crows back to their roost in bothell

[catplantbird-lady]

new set of mini pots

[sappyhoney]

♡ I hope you learn to love yourself and you gain lots of confidence soon because you deserve it, you’re lovely ♡

[catplantbird-lady]

bird log 1/10

I’m gonna start logging the birds I see online when I can or when there is something interesting or new!

Corvus brachyrynchos - American Crow  Turdus migratorius - American Robin  Calypte anna - Anna's Hummingbird Poecile atricapillus - Black-Capped Chickadee Junco hyemalis - Dark-Eyed Junco Passer domesticus - House Sparrow Regulus calendula - Ruby-Crowned Kinglet ***FIRST SIGHT*** Melospiza melodia - Song Sparrow Cyanocitta stelleri - Steller's Jay

[catplantbird-lady]

Gymnocalcyium mihanovicii friedrichii

Graptoveria amorethorum

Echeveria affinis

Coffea arabica

some plants i bought today at ravenna gardens! been dying for a black knight for a while, the others were just impulse buys. the coffee plant especially!! what the heck! and my boyfriend liked the moon cactus (gymnocalcyium) so i got it lol

[catplantbird-lady]

a current list of all of my plants...1.4.19

🌱🌵🌿

Adiantum aethiopicum - Maidenhair Fern

Adiantum pedatum - Northern Maidenhair/Five-Finger Fern

Agastache "Blue Fortune" - Blue Giant Hyssop

Aloe aristata - Lace Aloe

Aloe barbadensis - Aloe Vera

Begonia aconitifolia - Cane Begonia

Chlorophytum comosum - Spider Plant

Coffea arabica - Coffee Plant

Crassula ovata - Standing Jade

Crassula ovata - Trailing Jade

Echeveria affinis - Dark Knight

Echeveria elegans - Grey/Red Echeveria

Echeveria nodulosa - Echeveria Nodulosa

Echeveria subsessilis - Blue Echeveria

Ficus elastica - Rubber Plant

Gasteria carinata - Gasteria Carinata

Graptopetalum amethystinum - Fat Beans

Graptopetalum paraguayense - Ghost Plant

Graptoveria amethorum - Amethyst Grapto

Gymnocalycium mihanovichii friedrichii - Moon Cactus, grafted

Haworthia dentata - Haworthia

Haworthia floribunda - Haworthia

Haworthia attenuata - Zebra Haworthia

Juncus spiralis - Spiral Juncus

Kalanchoe hybrid "Behartii" - Bunny Ears

Saintpaulia ionantha - African Violet

Schlumbergera bridgesii - Christmas Cactus

Sedeveria "Jet Beads" hybrid - Black beans

Sedum rubrotinctum - Trailing Beans

Sedum rupestre - Stonecrop

Sedum stahili - Mini Trailing Beans

Sempervivum - Hen & Chick

Sempervivum arachnoideum "Rubrum" - Spiderweb Hen & Chick

Tillandsia fasciculata - Air Plant

Tillandsia recurvata- Ball Moss

Tillandsia recurvata - Spanish Moss

Polystichum munitum - Sword/Christmas/Holly Fern

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

i thought succulents were supposed to be the easy do-nothing plant thats impossible to kill but these fuckers are WAY more difficult than all the beans i had to grow in high school. wtf

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

a normal plant: just fuckin stick it in the sun and give it water. lookin malnourished? nourish it. stuff like blight, aphids, and spider mites are easy as fuck to diagnose and treat.

a god damn succulent, apparently: only likes dry aerated soil mixtures and barely any water ever and lots of indirect sunlight but no direct sunlight and sometimes they just start to look rotting and crinkly and mushy which either means theyre overwatered or underwatered or the soil’s retaining too much moisture or they’re just sad about living in your shitty house. will become naked and die for no apparent reason. you fucking suck

also fucking succulents: throw a rotten dead leaf from 1964 on a plate and watch it spring back to FUCKING life, i guess. 

[eternity-in-your-eyes]

*literally doesn’t water for over a month* I’m doing great!!!

*forgets to water for a week* why must you deprive me so?

*waters 0.1 oz too much* I drowned and you held me under

*puts in bright sun* the sun IT BURNS

*puts in indirect light* I grew a foot overnight because fuck you

[catplantbird-lady]

accurate

[ripple-effect]

Bisexuality: When straight people think you’re gay and gay people think you’re straight.

[catplantbird-lady]

oof

[pancakeke]

[marimobowl-deactivated20200224]

[princesstigerbelle]

Same energy @pancakeke @boy-dere

[guardianshiishii]

[princesstigerbelle]

@guardianshiishii

[catplantbird-lady]

spider plant seeds!! more to emerge from the seed pods once they dry & open up, but I planted these ones for now. 😀🌱🌵

[fuckingrecipes]

DO YOU HAVE COMPANY COMING OVER, BUT YOUR HOUSE SMELLS LIKE SMOKE OR YOUR MOLD EXPERIMENTS OR CAT PISS OR SOME BULLSHIT LIKE THAT?

WELL SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME BRILLIANT, BECAUSE THIS SHIT ISN’T EDIBLE, BUT IT’LL MAKE YOUR HOUSE SMELL LIKE A GODDAMN CHURCH CHOIR SINGING HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH IN YOUR NASAL PASSAGE! (YOU SHOULD GET RID OF WHATEVER’S STINKING UP YOUR HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE AS WELL, MORON) RUN YOUR CLASSY ASS OVER TO THE STORE AND MAKE SURE YOU’RE PREPARED FOR THE MIND-FUCK OF THIS SHIT. YOU’LL WANT  1 ORANGE, A SMALL BAG OF CRANBERRIES, 3 CINNAMON STICKS, GROUND CLOVES, NUTMEG, 2 LEMONS, ROSEMARY AND VANILLA. THERE ARE TWO VERSIONS OF THIS THAT YOU CAN COOK, BECAUSE CLASSY-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS NEED VARIETIES IN THEIR LIFE! THE FIRST IS ‘CHRISTMAS’ AND THE SECOND DOESN’T HAVE A DAMN NAME, BUT IT’S FUCKING WONDERFUL.

ONLY HAVE ONE POT OF THIS SHIT GOING, IT’S CRAZY POWERFUL.

“CHRISTMAS” CHOP UP THE ORANGE, SKIN AND ALL, BECAUSE YOU DON’T JOKE AROUND WITH THIS SORT OF SHIT. USE YOUR WARRIOR STRENGTH TO BREAK THE CINNAMON STICKS IN HALF, LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF SNAPPING THE FEMURS OF DRAGONS BEFORE YOU SUCKED THE MARROW OUT. THROW THE ORANGE AND CINNAMON STICK PIECES INTO THE POT, OR IF YOU’RE NOT CONFIDENT WITH YOUR AIM, YOU CAN SET THEM GENTLY INSIDE. SHOVE A SMALL SPOONFUL OF NUTMEG AND A SMALL SPOONFUL OF CLOVES INTO THE POT. THEN FILL THAT FUCKER UP WITH WATER UNTIL THERE’S ONLY AN INCH OF LEEWAY BETWEEN THE WATER AND EDGE, BECAUSE YOU’RE A DAREDEVIL MOTHERFUCKER.

NOW SET YOUR STOVE TO A LOW-MEDIUM SETTING, AND LEAVE IT SITTING THERE TO MARINATE IN IT’S OWN QUIET ACCEPTANCE OF DEATH. DON’T COVER THIS FUCKER, BECAUSE THE SMELL OF IT IS GOING TO INVADE YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMN HOUSE. THAT WHICH WILL NOT BE NAMED THE OTHER VERSION OF BOILING POTPOURRI  ONLY HAS LEMONS, ROSEMARY SPRIGS AND VANILLA.

RIP THE LEMON INTO CHUNKS WHILE SOLVING THREE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES IN YOUR HEAD AND YELLING AT YOUR FLATMATE TO LEAVE YOUR OTHER EXPERIMENTS ALONE, THEN BE A CHAMPION BY NOT USING A MEASURING TOOL WHEN SPLASHING 1 TABLESPOON OF VANILLA INTO THE POT.

TOSS IN THE ROSEMARY SPRIGS AFTER YOU’VE STARED THEM INTO SUBMISSION. FILL THAT SUCKER WITH WATER AND PUT IT ON THE HEAT.  

YOU LEAVE IT ON FOR 2 HOURS AT THE START OF THE DAY, THEN TURN IT ON AGAIN AN HOUR BEFORE GUESTS GET TO YOUR HOME AND LEAVE IT ON ALL EVENING. TAKE A WHIFF UP CLOSE EVERY FEW HOURS, BECAUSE THE FRUIT WILL START TO SMELL WEIRD AT THE END OF THE DAY AND THAT’S WHEN YOU TURN IT OFF.

WHEN YOUR GUESTS ARRIVE THEY’LL HAVE TO STEP BACK AND EXCLAIM “HOLY MOTHERFUCKING TITS, THIS IS ONE CLASSY HOME”

[filesdone-deactivated20130818]

Not gonna lie, I’m mostly reblogging this because reading it is so thoroughly enjoyable.

[lancrebitch]

I really love aggressive recipes

[mj-irl]

I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. Gotta try it!!

[petermorwood]

And while the pot(s) are simmering, stamp around the house in your biggest, heaviest boots, clashing two saucepan lids together and shouting “SMELL BETTER, DAMMIT!” at the top of your voice - because, after these instructions, just sitting quietly while the scent develops is a bit of an anti-climax…

[catplantbird-lady]

i need this tbh and also i have a full recipe book called thug kitchen just like this lmfao

[catplantbird-lady]

😑😑😑

every time i plan a get together with friends they all end up flaking & then i just fucking hate myself HAHA lol so guess what: that’s the thing that happened tonight! they all flaked! because i don’t like drinking and they do, and for more reasons, but anyway, this is my only venting spot since nobody knows my ass here bye!

[the-daily-meatball]

omg catnip

[catplantbird-lady]

EAT LEAF

[catplantbird-lady]

god damn it i

really want to

buy some more plants....!!

[catplantbird-lady]

hey y’all i need some assistance…

what are these

i have looked online and still can’t figure them out

pls help

what. are. they.?

[plantanarchy]

The first one is some kind of Aloe/Haworthiopsis/Gasteria (hard to tell because it’s in need of more light and is stretching some).

Second one looks like some kind of Sedum.

Third are probably some Graptopetalum babies.

And the last is an Aloe (not an Aloe vera), also in need of a wee bit more light.

[catplantbird-lady]

fantastic!!! thank you!!! I have the mother of that first plant and she is very short & flat:

[catplantbird-lady]

a list (plants I know the scientific names of, that I own):

Adiantum aethiopicum

Agastache "Blue Fortune"

Aloe aristata

Aloe barbadensis

Begonia aconitifolia

Chlorophytum comosum

Crassula ovata

Crassula ovata

Echeveria elegans

Echeveria subsessilis

Ficus elastica

Gasteria carinata

Graptopetalum amethystinum

Graptopetalum paraguayense

Haworthia floribunda

Haworthia attenuata

Juncus spiralis

Kalanchoe hybrid "Behartii"

Saintpaulia ionantha

Schlumbergera bridgesii 

Sedeveria "Jet Beads" hybrid

Sedum rubrotinctum

Sedum rupestre

Sedum stahili

Sempervivum arachnoideum "Rubrum"

Tillandsia fasciculata

Tillandsia recurvata