Yor and her relationship with femininity (and my relationship with Yor ig)
Iāve been keeping up with SPY x FAMILY for quite a while now. It was easy for me to become a fan. Itās cute, itās funny, it has some good action, really interesting philosophical themes, and memorable characters. Instantly, Twilight was the best one in my opinion, with Anya coming in as a very close second (she gets bonus points cuz sheās basically me when I was a child), but Yor? She was justā¦ kinda there. I mean, she was nice enough, I didnāt hate her, but I was genuinely confused as to why people like her. Her personality seemed to be ditzy, nice, insecure and embarrassed about everything, with a split personality disorder that makes her sometimes kill people in a sexy way, presumably to add some depth and possibly to make it easier to both infantilize and objectify her at the same time. But even if we ignore the last bit, I have little patience for these kinds of characters. I guess I donāt relate to umā¦ having shame? Or being politeā¦. Anyway, she was so underdeveloped for so long, and then the cruise arc happened. And I loved it so much, but only because of Anya and Loid's shenanigans. It was so focused on Yor, but I Still. Didnāt. Get it. It was a little disappointing, but yk I usually like male characters more anyway. Mediocre female characters are hardly uncommon in media, unfortunately.
As you may notice, up until now Iāve been using the past tense, indicating that I changed my opinion. And I changed it so much that now, I think, Yor might be my favourite character. I canāt even pinpoint the moment when the switch happened. All I know is that recently, and by recently, I mean almost a year ago, my love for sxf got somewhat renewed or maybe reached a new level, and Iām pretty sure that itās because I really, really like Yor. So yeah, this was kind of a long introduction to my attempt at verbalizing the thoughts I had about her.
A big part of Yorās character is her struggle to fit in, especially in her role as a wife and more broadly, as a woman. Obviously, masculinity and femininity are very broad concepts and are viewed in many different ways. But I see her journey as embodying Yin, and Twilight, for that matter, as embodying Yang.
YinYang is a fascinating concept for me, although Iām not an expert in Chinese philosophy, so itās very possible that Iām not right about this, butā¦ well this is my interpretation.
Yin is the feminine side; itās a pulling motion, itās dark and mysterious, itās rest, itās renewal, itās āpassiveā and indirect, it is wise(!).
I really like how Yor chases normalcy and tries to become more feminine through entirely superficial means like being better at cooking, appearing physically weak, or acting properly in social situations, but all those things have nothing to do with true femininity. For me, true femininity is far more subtle. Itās a kind of power that acts beneath the surface, almost undetectable, but is secretly the most powerful. It creates the space for others to act. It seems passive but is in fact the catalyst of the action. And just like Yor snuck up on me that I didnāt even realize when I started to like her so much, she did and is doing the same thing for her newly forged family, especially Twilight. Him thinking on the bench after getting kicked in the chin that the kind of power she and his mother had is the one that will finish the jobā¦ omg so true king. But crucially, her physical strength is one of the ways she makes a safe space for Anya. So Iām not dismissing this aspect! (and neither is Twilight, gosh).
Itās kinda hard to pull up all of the instances sheās embodying Yin, because sheās doing it all the time, and itās mostly small things like making tea or just being this warm presence. Encouraging Twilight to rest on the riverbank that one time, trying really hard to learn how to cook even though she absolutely sucks, pointing out to Twilight that itās a good thing the news is peaceful and probably many other times that donāt come to mind right now. Sheās just so awesome.
I love it when she suddenly becomes weirdly wise (Yin trait btw) and perceptive (also a Yin trait). She doesnāt analyze like Twilight she acts on intuition (yes, this too is a Yin trait).
Now, I hate bringing men into a discussion about femininity but just like YinYang they are connected and canāt be separated. Actually, they reveal each other.
Anyway, so just like Yor works mostly through physical strength, Twilight works in intelligence, which is s more subtle and hidden type of work. He lies and conceals his identity. I feel like heās learning to become more of a hero type (he obviously becomes a hero in Anyaās eyes, but like in general ig). Before, he accepted that his work will never get recognized, that heāll get no medal or honour, but now he has people in his life who appreciate him and even think heās cool. The scene with the pickpocketer comes to mind. Twilight initially doesnāt think to intervene, but when he sees Yor immediately throw herself into action, he changes his mind and catches the thief. He even enjoys the praise. Heās learning to be more honest, open, direct, maybe? Anyway, itās a cool parallel to Yor, but I donāt care for it that much because the hero market is oversaturated, but who knows maybe Endo will do something interesting with it.
I also like their character designs reflecting their respective symbols. Yor being the dark one and Twilight the light one. His codename being Twilight when Yin is associated with night, and his organisation being called āWiseā - a Yin trait. Garden existing to make the world a more beautiful place, so itās about making a space for othersā¦ I donāt know, it seems symbolically significant.
I also want to mention that Handler has some Yin energy in my eyes too while being very unlike Yor. Which is great because those characteristics can appear in many forms. Handler is so cool istg.
All in all, I love this so much. Itās such an interesting concept. Far more difficult to write than a simple hero character. Itās so subtle and cool. Dammit.
I should also mention that Iām not saying men are restricted to Yang and women to Yin. These things are relational. The same person can be Yin to one person and Yang to the other. Both are important, and neither is better. Theyāre just different. One has to push so the other can pull.
So yeah I donāt want to see any disrespect towards Yor. Without her this family would crash and burn.
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